Business
by 0lizzybennet0
Summary: It was meant to be a simple and straightforward act, it wasn't as though Kurt was actually his boyfriend. The fact that Kurt couldn't speak to him without yelling wasn't supposed to matter.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue**_

Blaine adjusted his tie with an inaudible sigh and a quick perfunctory smile around the boardroom table. He grasped the hand of the suit-clad man beside him with a false hearty greeting and the obligatory pat on the shoulder. Glancing sideways as the long-term business partner and friend of his father's told some vague story, Blaine caught his father's eye and received a faint nod of approval. Blaine turned his gaze back to the other man's boring face and forced a jovial laugh at whatever pointless joke he'd just been told. He settled back in his seat and ran his eyes over the men seated around the table as his father began talking. Wanker, boring, tells crude jokes, sleeping with the receptionist, Blaine silently grimaced as he labelled each man, wears mismatched socks, reads porn on his phone. Blaine forced himself to focus back on the conversation as Porn Man started talking.

The shadow of his pen slid across his paper between the shadows of the slanted blinds. Blaine pushed his lower lip out slightly as he wavered the pen between his fingers and let his mind drift. The pen dropped with a clatter as he received a sharp kick to his shin. His father continued talking composedly as Blaine silently retrieved his pen under the quick disapproving glances of the men all thirty years his senior.

Later that night Blaine stripped off his tie and lobbed it across the room onto the table. His car keys hit the table with a clatter and skidded across the wood. Serious black shoes were toed off and violently kicked under the couch. Two minutes later found Blaine on his hands and knees retrieving the shoes, brushing them off and placing them neatly in the hallway. He pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes and drew a deep breath, curling his toes in his grey socks as he kept himself in control. Lowering his hands, he blinked rapidly and gave himself a little shake before moving with forced determination into the kitchen.

He suddenly stopped between the fridge and bench with a curse. Turning around at a run he slid on socked feet down the hall, past the table, stooping to snatch his shoes off the floor as he grabbed his bag with the other hand and staggered out the door with a loud slam. The microwave beeped its finish to the empty apartment and the lights continued to shine brightly while outside Blaine hopped awkwardly down the hall, shoes half on and car keys jangling in his hand. Rachel's blind date. She'd argued with him for weeks about it. It had better be worth it.

GGGGGGG

The rain beat down heavily on the windscreen as Blaine sat in the silent car and sighed into his hands. The man with the appalling driving and parking skills had stalked past him, obscured in the heavy grey rain. Slipping his wallet into his coat pocket, Blaine hurriedly pushed the door open with an immediate curse as the cold rain beat down on his head. He flicked his collar up and ran quickly towards the lights of the bar opposite.

The contrast of warmth as Blaine stepped quickly through the door made him sigh in relief. Slipping out of his wet coat, Blaine slung it over his arm and scanned the crowd for a man in a blue top. A spark of hope flickered as he ran his eyes over a nicely defined back, long legs crossed under one of the higher tables closer to the bar. Blaine made his way over and finally, for the first time that day, relaxed into a true smile as soft blue eyes turned to look at him and the man's face was rendered even more attractive by a welcoming smile.

'You must be Blaine,' the man dipped his head and gestured to the seat opposite.

'And you're Kurt,' Blaine extended his hand and firm fingers wrapped around his in a quick squeeze. 'Miserable weather,' he commented as he draped his coat over the chair and slid in.

Kurt looked down at the table and curved his lips up into a smile, glancing up at Blaine through soft looking dark eyelashes. 'You look like you've been through a bit,' those blue eyes flicked over his mussed hair and the splatters of rain across his face.

'Some jerk almost backed into my car outside,' Blaine ran his hands over his hair and leaned back with a tired groan in his seat. 'He just rolled down his window and screamed at me,' he shook his head and stifled a yawn before blinking and settled more comfortably in the curved wooden seat, 'stupid idiot. He had this ridiculous,' Blaine gestured vaguely at his front, 'scarf thing on. It's a wonder he could see out the windscreen at all, not that he really was looking anyway.'

Kurt just stared at him.

'What?' Blaine raised his drink to his mouth.

'You arrogant prick,' Kurt declared in disbelief. Several heads turned as his voice carried over the background music and laughter. 'Never heard of indicators? Clearly,' Kurt waved a quick angry hand at Blaine's clothes, 'you've never heard of fashion but I would have hoped,' he twisted the word in angry sarcasm, 'indicating wasn't beyond your obviously limited intelligence. You almost drove into me! And _I_ rolled my window down to scream? You came lumbering out of your ugly pretentious car to yell!' He briefly arched his eyebrows up. 'That was some yelling you did, too.'

Blaine just dropped his head slowly into his hands and groaned. 'You almost ran me over when I got out,' his voice, muffled into his hands, slowly rose.

'It was pretty damn tempting.'

'If you can't drive then don't get in the car!'

'Then what were you doing in the car, wonder boy?'

The smack of his palms on the table was loud between them as they both leaned forward unconsciously. 'Shut up,' Blaine said witheringly. Kurt was no longer attractive, just angry.

'Oh,' Kurt pulled a mocking face, 'poor daddy's boy had a bad day in the office? The stress of wearing a repulsive suit and driving an ugly car too much to bear?'

'Oh Jesus,' Blaine rubbed his forehead wearily, 'you're one of those gays.' He yelled out in protest as something wet suddenly seeped into the sleeve of his suit and looked up accusingly into mocking wide blue eyes.

'Oh Jesus,' Kurt mocked, 'you're wearing my drink.' He pushed the chair back from the table with a loud screech and slung his bag onto his shoulder. 'I'm leaving, you're irritating, you've got stupid hair, call a taxi and don't drive because some of us don't want to be killed by incompetent drivers.'


	2. Chapter 2

The second time Kurt met Blaine was at yet another Rachel's 'little gatherings' that inevitably ended in showtunes, nudity and random hook-ups. Kurt had become quite well-acquainted with the little balcony and bench outside her kitchen as result of these parties, his personal hiding place when the singing got too bad, the number of semi-naked girls scarring and the determined drunk kissers too hard to avoid.

'Oh God,' Kurt promptly turned and walked into Mercedes' arms.

'Woah,' she halted his escape and held him at arm length as she looking over his shoulder, 'where are you going?'

The dark-haired man standing just inside the entrance turned curiously at the whispered voices. His expression changed from curiosity to flat recognition. 'Hello, Kurt.'

Kurt forced a fake smile and turned around with his arms crossed. 'Blaine. Hello.'

'You two know each other?' Mercedes pointed a finger between them as they stared in thinly disguised hostility.

'We're acquainted.'

'We went on a date,' Kurt added and angled his chin slightly.

'Oh,' Mercedes looked between them, 'awesome. Well,' she nodded and took a step backwards, 'I'm gonna see if I can find Rachel,' she stepped behind Blaine with a vigorous sweeping gesture of her hand at Blaine, pulling a face and miming fanning herself at Kurt. '_Hot!_' She mouthed at him before slipping between a group of people into the kitchen.

Kurt looked at the picture hanging opposite on the wall and took a silent sip of his drink. 'Well,' he broke the silence between them eventually, 'I think we got off to a bad start.'

'Trying to write-off someone's car can have that effect,' there was a small spark of humour in Blaine's hazel eyes.

Kurt curled his lip and scoffed. 'Please. I was parking.'

'_Into my car_.'

'What's with you and this car?'

'Company car.' Blaine pointed across the room. 'I'm walking that way.'

'Excellent,' Kurt gestured the other way, 'I'll be going over there.'

Avoiding Blaine worked well for most of the night, despite Rachel's attempts to persuade him that, really, Blaine was a great guy and maybe just going through a rough patch right now. Kurt remained unconvinced and kept away from all glimpses of badly gelled brown hair. Unfortunately Blaine seemed to have had the same idea regarding Rachel's apartment balcony and the need to escape those inside.

'You're not staying inside?' Blaine leaned against the doorway, framed in the glow of light from inside.

Kurt shook his head as another loud burst of laughter spilled through the window above his head. 'Not really my thing.'

'Yeah,' Blaine pushed off the doorway and slowly walked to the edge of the balcony, 'neither. His profile outlined against the night sky shifted with a small smile.

'Well,' Kurt downed the rest of his drink and rose to his feet from the little bench, his head span lightly and he braced his hand out on the railing. Blaine cast him an amused glance. 'Shut up,' he said absently and hiccupped. 'I've never kissed anyone properly and I don't plan on it being with a random girl here.' He propped his back against the railing and turned his head sideways to Blaine. Some small part of his mind warned him he was spilling out more about himself than he intended. 'You? Got a boyfriend now despite your personality?'

'No. No boyfriend.' Blaine raised his glass to the dark sky in a mocking toast. 'That wouldn't be family proper.'

Kurt kicked Blaine lightly in the foot to gain his attention. 'You went on a blind date with me?'

'It was a bad day,' Blaine chuckled as Kurt pulled a face at him, 'even before I met you. I was feeling defiant and just a bit pissed off.'

'Ah,' Kurt nodded in understanding. 'That explains your God-awful suit and that hairstyle. And the ugly briefcase you brought. You work at your father's firm or something like that?' He shook his finger warningly. 'Can't be gay.'

'Yes, well done, Kurt. Thank you for clarifying that for me.' Blaine sighed in the warm night air and splayed his hands out sideways on the railing. His curls fell over one eyes as he stared down at the glow of cars passing on the road stories below.

The ground felt somewhat unsteady under his feet and Kurt's shoulder bumped Blaine's as he looked curiously over the balcony with him. 'Thinking of jumping?' He asked conversationally and immediately cursed in his head. He took a steadying breath and fought against the pleasant buzz of alcohol.

'Sometimes,' Blaine admitted easily. 'I tried to stop working for him once and family pressure brought me back.' He tapped his glass against the metal bars with a light clink. 'I don't have much backbone when it comes to family,' he confessed to Kurt with a quick flash of a smile.

'Why are you telling me?' It came out much blunter than it had sounded in his head. Kurt rubbed two fingers slowly over his temple.

'Kind and friendly guy aren't you?' Blaine just shook his head and turned his gaze back down to the cars. 'Maybe because you're tipsy and I'm lonely and let's face it, your opinion of me is pretty low already.'

'Yep,' Kurt agreed immediately.

'Obnoxious diva.'

'Egotistical brat.'

'I'm not egotistical,' Blaine protested with a laugh. 'And you've seriously never kissed anyone before? You're a virgin?'

'Mm,' Kurt chuckled and swayed slightly against the railing, 'didn't say I was a virgin, just haven't kissed anyone.'

Blaine raised his eyebrows. 'Weird.'

'So much for accepting different beliefs and values.'

A quick bark of laughter broke the lazy atmosphere out on the little balcony. 'This coming from you? Mr Acceptance?'

'I'm going inside,' Kurt announced, he held his hand out, 'here's to hoping we never have to meet again.'

'Here's hoping,' the corners of Blaine's eyes crinkled in a quick smile.

The party was winding down by the time Kurt managed to extricate himself from Mercedes' grip, she always was a giggly clingy drunk.

'I'm heading off,' Kurt aimed a kiss in the vague direction of Rachel's cheek as she swayed and chuckled. He touched his hand to his mouth as he hiccupped and his head span.

'Wait,' Rachel latched on to his arm, 'are you driving?'

Kurt hiccupped again. 'No,' he could hear himself slurring the word out a little bit too long and forced himself to stop, 'no, bit too much to drink, taxi for me. Not as much as you've had to drink though.'

'You sound tipsy,' she stabbed him playfully in the chest, he gingerly pushed her hands away and smoothed down his shirt, 'tipsy Kurt gets all blunt and word-vomit.'

'Whereas you just get all vomit.' Kurt conceded Rachel might have a point as the words bypassed mental filters and tumbled out of his mouth.

'I need someone to take Megan home,' Rachel pointed at a dark-haired girl slumped across the couch, 'she can't go home in a taxi alone.'

'Where does she live?' Blaine flipped his car keys though his fingers and came up beside Rachel.

'Ten minutes from where Kurt lives,' Rachel said promptly.

Blaine just shrugged and quirked a half-hearted smile at Kurt that spoke of mutual dislike and a general "whatever". 'That's on my way home.'

'How do you know where I live?' Kurt asked suspiciously.

'I was telling him about you,' Rachel said happily. 'You'd be so cute together,' she reached up and ruffled Blaine's hair. It was brief and short-lived, but there was the tiniest moment of solidarity and understanding as Blaine's long-suffering eyes met Kurt's. Kurt looked away with a tiny smirk.

It took some work to coax Megan off the couch and down the stairs leading out of the small block of flats. For some reason she'd refused point-blank to go into the lift and neither Blaine or Kurt had any idea what to do with crying hysterical girl so stairs it was. It was a reluctant and unwanted bonding moment as together they shepherded, tugged and half carried her down the stairs, Blaine looking torn between annoyance and laughter.

Kurt couldn't help but press his hands together and laugh as for the first time he could look properly at Blaine's car. The Car as he had been calling it in his mind.

'Just get in and shut up.' Blaine caught him grinning and staring.

Kurt snorted as he opened the door of Blaine's black Mercedes, pale leather covering the seats and all the trim finished in sleek wood. 'You hate this car, don't you?'

'God yes,' Blaine sighed and Kurt laughed when the dash lights pulsed pale blue as the engine purred to life. It was just absurd. Kurt prided himself on his ability to instantly judge when things didn't match together, usually clothes, and the contrast between Blaine and the refined image this car was supposed to create was just laughable. Blaine with his ridiculous curly hair and stupid crooked smile. Blaine glanced over his shoulder before looking down at the camera to reverse out. Kurt chuckled beside him and propped his elbow on the door, pressing his fingers over his smirking mouth as he turned his face to the dark window. 'It's a wonderful car,' Blaine said rubbed his hand under his jaw and Kurt heard the faint scrape of stubble, 'it's just not what I would choose. What do you drive anyway? Some small silver thing?'

'A Fiat 500.' The lights of the city flashed past a little too fast and Kurt tried to stop the vague spinning sensation in his head. Perhaps a little too much to drink.

Blaine laughed and shot Kurt an amused glance in the quick passing glow of a streetlight. 'And you're making fun of _my_ car?'

It was Kurt's turn to tell Blaine to shut up as he leaned forward and fiddled with the heating controls on the dashboard. 'I don't understand why you won't just leave your job,' tracing his finger idly down the doorhandle Kurt raised one shoulder in a fluid shrug. He glanced sideways and watched the flicker of clenched muscle along Blaine's jaw, the way he sucked in his lower lip before letting out a hissing sigh. He kept watching until Blaine tilted his head and hazel eyes met his.

There was a kind of grim weary humour in Blaine's eyes that let Kurt know his question was considered naive and simplistic. Turning his head away without responding Kurt stared once again at the dark outline of Blaine's nose and firm chin. 'I guess you must have a pretty supportive family,' Blaine said finally.

'Yes,' Kurt admitted. 'I always have.'

'Well, you're lucky. You don't have years of family expectations coming at you from every corner of the family. I'm either a part of the family, I do what's expected or I'm not. There's no middle ground, Kurt.'

'Doesn't sound like a very nice family to be a part of,' Kurt said softly, a simple comment without harshness.

'I love my family and they love me,' Blaine said simply, the flick of the car's indicator loud in the silence inside, 'I just have to fit the correct mould.'

'Then they don't really love you, do they?'

'My sister was eventually accepted and she did the unexpected,' Blaine step-sided and Kurt was feeling too light-headed to pick him up on it.

'What did she do?' He rubbed over his mouth and closed his eyes briefly.

'She's a model.'

'Oh?' A faint note of interest forced its way into Kurt's voice before he could maintain his indifference. He ran his eyes over Blaine's thick eyebrows, the little bump in his nose, the mad hair and there was the fact he was really quite short. 'Really?' He watched full lips quirk into a smile.

'She got the grace, I got the hobbit looks. I'm aware of that. Her name's Cecelia Anderson or-'

'Ceecque,' Kurt breathed and his eyes widened. 'Oh my _God!_ She's _your_ sister? She's gorgeous! She only wears the absolute best!' He was rambling and fanboying and tipsy but _God_, she was the best of the best. His favourite Vogue cover had been her, that gorgeous black dress she'd worn, Kurt could have stared for hours and that wasn't something he often did involving a woman.

'Should I be flattered for my sister or insulted for myself?' Blaine asked wryly as Kurt's voice climbed.

Kurt just pressed his fingertips over his mouth and sank back in the seat. He opened his mouth to reply then closed it again with just a faint moan. He felt Blaine's eyes on him and heard the laughter from the driver's seat. 'I studied fashion and design,' he said eventually, lowering his hand to drape over the door, 'the custom-made clothes she wears, the obscure designers, she's my idol.'

'Creepy adoration of my sister now.'

'Oh well what are you passionate about?' Kurt snapped back absently. 'Boring suits and the stock market?'

'Teaching,' Blaine shot back, 'I have a teaching degree. That's what I did when I tried to leave,' he finished on a quieter note.

Shrill laughter sounded from the backseat and Kurt craned his neck to see Megan staring up at her hands, wiggling her fingers in delight as she laid flat on her back and held her arms up. The atmosphere changed and Blaine's expressive face was for once unreadable. Kurt dozed lightly until the car slowed to a stop, the engine cutting out to silence. Kurt spared a brief thought to hoping Rachel wasn't friends with a serial killer.

The slam of the car door was loud in the quiet street as Kurt nudged it with his hip. 'She'd be taller than you with those heels on.'

Megan's long dark hair draped back over Blaine's arm and her head lolled into his neck, Blaine awkwardly tried to secure his arm properly under her bent knees. 'Oh haha, short jokes, really witty.'

'I thought so,' Kurt said without any trace of shame.

'What about you, you're all pale and thin.'

The streetlight caught the slope of Kurt's cheek as he opened his mouth with a huff. 'I'm not thin,' he said indignantly.

Blaine grinned to himself. 'Weedy.'

'Am not!' Kurt protested again and bent his head, hands fumbling down his shirt. 'See,' he pulled open his shirt and turned to display his bare chest and stomach defiantly.

Blaine nearly dropped Megan as he burst into laughter. 'God, you really did have a bit to drink tonight, didn't you?'

While it had made perfect sense to show Blaine his chest as evidence, the cool night air hitting his bare skin had a somewhat sobering effect. Kurt slowly pressed his fingertips to his forehead. Blaine sniggered.

'C'mere Mr Universe,' Blaine's wide grin was just overwhelmingly irritating now, 'open the door for me.'

Fishing Megan's key out of her bag, Kurt kicked Blaine in the shin to move him out of the light, slipping the key into the lock and breathing against another head-spin before pushing the door open.

'Excuse me?' A warning voice jerked their heads around. An older man stood on the front step of the neighbouring house, pulling his dressing gown closed as he waited on the edge of the step. Kurt could see the glow of a phone in his hand. 'What are you doing, if you don't mind me asking?'

Kurt was suddenly highly aware of his shirt gaping open, the way Megan's head lolled back, Blaine's awkward grip on her arms and legs. The neighbour's gip tightened on the phone.

'My boyfriend and I are just dropping Megan back. Bit too much to drink,' Blaine pulled a face and gave a small shrug as if to say "what can you do?"

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief as Megan chose that moment to blearily open her eyes. 'Hi,' she drawled at the neighbour, giggling and letting her head hang upside down. 'You'na pume down now,' she informed Blaine. She giggled again as she slid ungracefully down Blaine's body and out of his arms. 'D-do,' she staggered forward and seized Blaine by the cheeks. Kurt stifled a snort of laughter at the faint panic in Blaine's eyes. 'Do you wanna come up? Coz you're _hot_!' She poked Blaine in the chest and swayed backwards with the effort. 'You'rehotoo,' she slurred at Kurt.

'Thanks, but no thanks,' Blaine extricated himself gingerly as the neighbour looked on with masked suspicion, 'I'm gay. And so is he.'

'The hot ones are always gay!' Megan wailed loudly. Sniffling and wiping her nose, she waved goodnight to everyone and stumbled over the door step. Blaine closed the door behind her with an audible sigh of relief. The neighbour's concerned stare had turned to one of amused sympathy.

'Well,' Blaine straightened his shirt and rolled his shoulders, 'that was an experience.'

'Lucky she woke up when she did,' Kurt remembered to button up his own shirt.

Blaine snorted. 'Luck? I pinched her side. It was looking a bit suspicious for us.'

'Scandal,' Kurt gestured dramatically, drawing his hands out against the dark sky, 'high-powered businessman's son seen with other man carrying drunk girl.' He admitted he was hoping for more of a reaction than just the faint hitch of Blaine's shoulders.

'It'd be a bigger scandal if it was just me and I was carrying you drunk.'

'I forgot, I'm your boyfriend, aren't I?'

'I was just trying to establish right from the start we weren't interested in Megan,' Blaine's voice was weary and flat.

Kurt bent his head to try and catch Blaine's expression. He staggered as his foot caught on something and Blaine lifted his head with a faint chuckle. 'Why don't you just quit the job, give back the car and screw the family pressure?' Kurt burst out as he slumped down into Blaine's car. 'Tell them you got that girl, whatsername, Megan, pregnant and you want to live with your ten other illegitimate children in a share house. With hippies.'

Blaine laughed, a warm and slightly tired sound. 'It'd take something bigger than that.'

'You want to live with ten other gay men and your boyfriend? Also free-minded hippies.'

The corner of Blaine's mouth turned up in a sad smile. 'Just living with a boyfriend should do it.'

'No,' Kurt mused, 'no, you're wrong. That could be hushed up and you'd be pulled away by the family, because you're spineless,' he added as an almost afterthought. 'No, you'd need something bigger and more dramatic and public. Think tabloids. Not that tabloids would be interested in you.'

Blaine swivelled his hands slowly on the steering wheel. 'Actually, they might be.' He glanced sideways at the lack of response and found Kurt snoozing with his cheek pressed firmly into the seat, mouth slightly open. He stared at the road, glancing away from the dazzling flash of passing headlights and slowly twisting his hands on the leather wheel again. A scandal would be perfect. He immediately felt guilty just thinking what it would do to his family.

GGGGGG

The third time Kurt and Blaine met was a meeting only between Kurt and Google. Nursing the smallest of hangovers from Rachel's the night before, Kurt spent the better part of his mouth sipping coffee and scrolling through blogs on Ceecque and the elusive brother he occasionally found mentioned. Reports spoke of him being attractive and Kurt snorted into his coffee. It was easier to piece together an idea of Blaine's family given there was such a large amount of information on his sister and her background. It was with a sense of pity and a stiff back that Kurt finally closed his laptop and stretched languidly. The battles with family expectations that Ceecque apparently had to deal with must have been nothing compared to what Blaine, the son, must be going through. Kurt poured the dregs of his now cold coffee down the sink.

The fourth time they met was by chance three days later, a quick meeting in a coffee shop that lasted long enough only for Blaine to mime ripping open his shirt as Kurt had done the night of the party. Kurt smacked his shoulder into Blaine's chest as he walked past with his coffee, muttering "hobbit" before Blaine left with a faint chuckle and he collected his own coffee. How Rachel was friends with that man was beyond him.

The fifth time was bizarre and within the same week, meeting as they both reached for the same carton of milk at the supermarket. Blaine's hand dropped away without the fight for it that Kurt expected.

'Hi Kurt,' Blaine twitched a shadow of a smile.

'Everything alright?' Kurt queried over his shoulder as he reached for the shredded cheese. He didn't expect Blaine to slowly grip the edge of his trolley and break down into tears. 'Oh,' Kurt froze, hands tight around the cheese as he stood rooted to the spot. 'Blaine.'

Dark head bowed and knuckles white in their grip on the trolley, Blaine stood there in silent tears. Kurt slowly extended his hand and gripped Blaine's hunched shoulder tightly, squeezing firmly as he leaned awkwardly across the trolley, the shredded cheese clutched in his other hand. With a sudden shuddering breath Blaine pulled away and walked away without a backwards glance. Kurt tried a half-hearted call after him. It just ended up with him awkwardly holding a packet of cheese and feeling inexplicably guilty.

Blaine was fumbling with his car keys when Kurt appeared at his side and pulled them out of his hand.

'I don't think you should drive,' was all Kurt said as he placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders and steered him around to the other side of the car.

Blaine let Kurt open the door and guide him down into the seat like a child, he just turned his cheek into the hated pale leather and closed his eyes miserably. He couldn't even explain the tears on his cheeks, it was nothing in particular and just _everything_. He was grateful for the lack of questions, the only sound the beep and frustrated sigh as Kurt wrestled with the car's GPS. 'How does this work?' Kurt finally broke the silence.

Blaine gave a weak little chuckle and rubbed his palms over his eyes as he slowly rose up into a sit. 'Here,' his voice sounded hoarse even to his own ears. He pressed the home button and ignored the sideways glances Kurt shot him.

'Anything I should know about your car?'

Wordlessly shaking his head, Blaine settled back in the seat and tucked his arms across his chest before closing his eyes again. Kurt drove in silence broken only by the emotionless commands of the GPS guiding them back to Blaine's apartment. Several times Blaine felt the splash of hot tears down his cheeks as he gave in and cried for no reason other than an overwhelming sense of dejection. The slide of houses and buildings passing the window went unnoticed. It was only when the car door opened and cold air rushed over his body that he realised the car had stopped. Kurt's hand, surprisingly strong, was back on his shoulder and pushing him towards the lifts.

'You'll be alright?' Kurt handed him back his keys.

'How will you get back?' Blaine smoothed his thumb over the cold metal, feeling weak and shivery.

'Taxi,' Kurt's voice was short but his eyes were kind. 'Do you want me to call anyone?'

'No one to call,' Blaine confessed and felt the pathetic prickle of tears all over again. 'I don't have those sort of friends.'

'Alright.' Suddenly Kurt's hands were away from their brace keeping the lift doors open and he was in beside Blaine. 'We'll order takeaway and watch something appalling on TV.'

Blaine wasn't going to fight an offer like that, not now, no matter how unexpected or bizarre. 'What,' he swallowed and tried to clear his cracking voice, 'what about your car?'

'It'll be fine, I'll ask Mercedes to move it for me later.'

'Thank you.' It was an unexpected murmur and neither of them knew quite what to do with it as it hung in the elevator between them.

Pushing open the door to his apartment, Blaine stepped back to let Kurt through first. He smiled faintly at the way Kurt's eyebrows immediately shot up. 'I know,' was all he murmured as Kurt ran his eyes over the interior. It was strange, but Kurt looked far more suited to the large open-plan apartment than Blaine ever would. Blaine felt he would always be more suited to a small apartment, worn comfortable furniture half covered in discarded clothes and the occasional empty take-away box propped on a messy table. The sleek surfaces and tastefully expensive atmosphere of this apartment matched perfectly with Kurt and Blaine stood in the hallway feeling awkward and out of place. 'Sit down,' Blaine finally remembered himself and spoke, gesturing at the couch, 'get a drink, whatever you want. I'll be back.'

It was stupid, but Blaine released a little shuddering breath as the grey suit came off. He had wanted the black suit with the tighter cut but his mother had made a faint noise of disapproval and the grey suit it was. Maybe he'd look strange as he padded back into the lounge in too long pyjama pants and a hoodie, but it was just Kurt and Blaine was pretty sure he'd already been judged in as many ways as possible.

Critical blue eyes scanned up and down his body as he padded on bare feet across the floorboards and Blaine smiled faintly. He waited for it.

'Those pants are ridiculously long on you.'

And there it was. Blaine kept smiling and dropped to the couch beside Kurt, tucking his knees up to his chest. 'Movie?'

Kurt nodded as he reached for the TV remote. 'Pizza later?'

'You eat pizza?' Blaine asked in surprise.

Kurt just gave him a look, not deigning that with a reply as he switched the TV on and settled back amongst the couch cushions. Blaine let out a slow sigh and rubbed his palms over the faint remains of cold tears on his cheeks. A quick slap of Kurt's hand on the cushions behind Blaine, Kurt's eyes still fixed on the TV, ordered Blaine to sit back.

'So.' Kurt left it open with that.

'So,' Blaine echoed and bounced his palm lightly across the couch.

'When are you going to quit your job?'

The couch dipped under him as he slid down into the cushions. 'Soon.'

'Liar.'

Blaine sighed and wearily covered his face with his hands. 'True.'

'I think it's only a matter of time before you have a complete breakdown,' bending forward to tug off his shoes, Kurt tilted his head sideways to look honestly at Blaine.

'I know,' Blaine slid further down into the couch, 'I know.' The movie started playing, something about the son of two gay dads wanting to marry a senator's daughter. Kurt tucked his legs up neatly and leaned his cheek on the cushion. 'Beer?' Blaine offered as he pushed himself up to his feet. He took the quick grimace as a no.

Pressing the cold glass of the bottle to his forehead, Blaine dropped down to the couch again and received a quick stab from Kurt's toe for making his head jolt.

'Hypothetically speaking,' Blaine began, still holding the cool bottle to his head, 'if you were me, what would you do?'

Slender white hands flicked unconsciously at the blanket Kurt had pulled over his legs. 'I don't think I'm qualified to give an opinion.'

Blaine scoffed and lifted the bottle to his lips. 'You? Hold back on an opinion?'

Kurt's wide mouth curved into a faint smile. 'Touche. Well, putting it simply I would quit and tell my parents they can support me or leave me be. But,' he held his hand up, 'I know that's not always realistic. Even if,' his forehead crinkled in a small wince, 'I did seem to think that the other night. I'm sorry about that.'

Blaine tilted his head. 'Did you just apologise?'

'Shut up,' Kurt said instantly. 'You won't get another.'

'Just say,' he dipped his head and toyed with the bottle, 'I had to do something big to cut myself off.'

'Like fucking another guy over the boardroom table?'

Blaine spat beer across the floor. Coughing weakly he looked incredulously at Kurt, it was those soft innocent eyes and the little tilt of his head, terribly misleading. 'What?' He demanded weakly and wiped his hand over his chin.

'What?' Kurt raised his shoulders and quirked his lips.

'No, nothing,' Blaine hurriedly tried to regain his composure despite the drip of beer down into his hoodie.

'I look like a blushing virgin?' Kurt just looked amused and stretched out his long legs across the couch. Nodding fervently, Blaine stripped his hoodie off and left the couch in search of paper towels. Kurt's amused laugh followed him. 'I used to be like that, I blushed at everything.'

Looking up from washing his face in the sink, Blaine caught a brief wistful expression flickering over Kurt's face before it was gone. 'What happened to change that?'

'Life, being the only out gay guy in the town.' Blaine could only see the back of his head now over the couch back, his attention turned back to the movie. 'I had to find out a few things the hard way. But back to you and the scandal theory of the other night, why don't you take up with another guy?'

The paper towel rasped unpleasantly against his stubble as Blaine slowly drew it down his cheek. 'I don't have a guy to take up with,' he confessed under the bright spotlights of his kitchen.

Over the bench he saw Kurt's shoulders rise in a shrug. 'Lie?'

'That would never hold up.' It felt strange just discussing this. Shaking his head he threw the paper towel down on the bench and flicked the lights to dim. Kurt looked curiously across at him in the glow of the TV screen as he dropped down onto the couch. Blaine just shrugged and they continued watching the movie in silence.

Maybe ten words were exchanged between them over the course of ordering and eating pizza. Blaine was too lost in thought to offer anything other than a vague insult to the way Kurt tucked a napkin under his chin and Kurt contented himself with stealing Blaine's second slice of Hawaiian. On screen the father's partner entered the room in drag as the son's mother. 'I need that,' Blaine said softly, lowering his pizza.

'Ew, really?' Kurt wrinkled his nose and glanced between the pretend housewife and Blaine.

'I need a fake boyfriend.' Blaine took a long drink from his second bottle of beer. 'That's what I need.'

'Alright,' Kurt turned cautiously towards him, crossing his legs under him as he faced Blaine, 'running with this hypothetical idea, you're going to need a lot of gossip surrounding you and this boyfriend so everyone knows and nothing can be denied. I'm guessing your parents will be mortified and your father will cut ties with you and you will be without a job and a family. Then you'll be free to do what you want.'

Blaine deflated with a slow sigh. 'Stupid idea. Forget I mentioned it,' he lifted the beer again.

'No,' Kurt shifted, 'I didn't say it was a stupid idea, it just has consequences.'

The grey suits, the car, the disapproval, the teaching degree, the brief, perfect time with James. Something snapped at the thought of James. 'I'm doing it.' His loud declaration startled both himself and Kurt. 'I'm doing it,' he repeated, quieter but no less firmly. 'Will you help?'

Kurt was silent for a moment, pert nose tilted down as he thought. 'Alright,' he agreed unexpectedly. 'Why not? You're a stupid idiot, you'd screw it up by yourself. I'm not being your decoy boyfriend though, you're on your own there.'

Blaine snorted at the thought of him and Kurt pretending to date. A quiet chuckle joined him and he looked across to catch Kurt's eye, exchanging a small smile. 'Can you imagine that? No one would ever believe us.'

'Please,' Kurt held up his hand through another light laugh, 'I'm picturing myself dating you now, it's awful.'

'Oh yeah? What about _you_? Can you say high-maintenance?' Blaine ducked as Kurt lobbed a cushion at him.

He hardly knew anything about Kurt yet there was a strange, easy sense of companionship as they bickered contently throughout the rest of the movie. He just received a quick smile from Kurt and a warning not to give up as he eventually walked the other man to the lift. Blaine watched Kurt fixing his hair in the mirrored walls as the doors shut and he smiled to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt never meant to say yes, it just sort of happened. It wasn't as though he even knew Blaine particularly well, just a strange relationship based on midnight and 2am phone calls to calm a panicking Blaine down. Four in total since he'd driven Blaine home that night. Kurt honestly thought that would be it and the next time he'd actually see Blaine would be from the pages of a tabloid.

'Blaine, Blaine,' Kurt rubbed his fingers tiredly over his face, 'Blaine.'

'-and what kind of a person would do that to their _family-_'

'_Blaine!'_ Kurt thumped his foot down on the desk by his phone and flopped back on the bed. Blaine's voice went silent and Kurt covered his face with his hands, feet propped up on the desk opposite his bed. The little round clock ticked quietly beside his bed, the only sound over the faint traffic outside.

'I just think it will do more harm than good,' Blaine's voice finally sounded in Kurt's silent room.

'Why did you call me, Blaine?' Kurt addressed his tired question up at the faint cracks in his ceiling.

'I sort of thought we were in this together.' Blaine's voice was small and sad, 'I have no one else to call.'

Kurt slowly slid his legs off the desk and hauled himself to the edge of his bed. Propping his elbows on his knees he stared at the little black phone under his desk lamp.

'Kurt?' Blaine sounded faintly tinny through the speakers, uncertain and alone. 'Kurt, are you there?'

'Yeah, yeah I'm here,' he said finally. He was grateful Blaine couldn't see as he sunk his head into his hands and ground his palms slowly over his eyes.

'I don't know what to do.'

'Do you want to still do it? _Really_ want to?' He watched his phone before a sigh hissed through the speakers and a resigned yes followed. 'Do you want me to talk you back into it?'

'Please.'

Pillows hit the headboard of his double bed as Kurt shoved them up into a cocoon. Reaching forward he swiped his phone off the desk and dropped it to the duvet beside him. 'I'm still here,' he spoke down to the phone as he slid pyjama clad legs under the bedding, 'just getting back into bed.'

'Sorry,' there was a small pause as Kurt imagined Blaine was looking at the time. 'Did I wake you up?'

'It's one in the morning, Blaine, I'll leave it at that.' Kurt drew the duvet up to his chin and wriggled back comfortably, the only light the soft glow of his desk lamp in his small bedroom. 'Alright, let's start with the fact that you're miserable. You wear an ugly suit in a boring job, driving a car you don't want and I shudder to think how much gel it takes to tame your hair.'

'I broke two combs in it last week.'

It was impossible not to smile at that. Kurt shifted onto his side to face the phone. 'What do you hate the most? What makes you so,' he furrowed his brow unconsciously, tracing a finger along the ridges of his duvet, '_angry_ you can't even think about it to yourself?'

The phone remained silent, half hidden in a fold of the duvet. 'Should we be talking about your issues too?' Blaine asked finally.

'Yours are enough to be going on with.'

'James. It would be James,' a sigh suddenly rasped loudly through the speakers. 'He was my boyfriend when I broke off from my family. Then one day,' another sigh, this time mixed with a wry kind of laugh, 'he dumped me. Out of the blue. Dad was really putting the pressure on at that point and him leaving me sort of pushed me over. I came back to work with him again.'

Without even fully realising, Kurt found himself stroking a sympathetic finger down the edge of his phone.

'I later found out James was bribed.' A short bitter bark snort. 'Not, as it turned out, a very nice guy. Although I imagine the money in question was quite considerable.'

'Blaine,' Kurt tucked his cheek into his pillow and stared at his phone, 'you are seriously messed up.'

'I know. I know I am, I'm working for the guy who bribed him. But he's my dad. It's my family.'

'I've seen underground crime families on late night TV that seem more loving than your family.'

'I know.'

The clock ticked loudly with just the soft rustle of Kurt shifting under the duvet to accompany it.

'How come you're nicer to me over the phone?'

Kurt smiled and curled back up into a ball. 'I'm feeling sleepy and mellow. It's not half as fun when I can't see your reaction.' He bunched the duvet up over his shoulders and neck. 'And I feel sorry for you, you miserable jerk.'

Blaine laughed softly. 'That's more like it.'

'Are you feeling better now?'

'Yeah.'

'Good,' Kurt reached for the phone with a smile, 'now piss off, I want to sleep.'

GGGGGGGG

The floor vibrated under his feet as the music thumped through his body. Lights flickered and voices cheered and screamed in the dark as Kurt wove between dancing bodies, Mercedes' hand tight in his and tugging him along. He caught a flash of her smile in a flash of laser light and just screamed something incomprehensible back as her mouth moved soundlessly. It was easier to just dance, to close his eyes and laugh into the music as bodies pressed and moved all around him. Thinking was impossible, only the sensation of movement and the perfect lack of control, Kurt liked that, liked not being able to feel. Everyone said with guarded concern in their eyes that he'd changed and, with a false laugh, he seemed much older now. Constant and unrelenting bullying did that to a person, Kurt would reply flippantly, just to see the downwards flick of their eyes. Because of course they'd known and of course no one had done anything. Glee club had tried and Kurt still loved them as his family just as he had done in high school, wanting to slap some of them while simultaneously hugging them, just like family. Someone screamed in his ear and Kurt yelled back, a meaningless noise, his hand was caught in the sweaty grip of someone's and raised above his head as they danced. Long hair swept wildly across his cheek and a different male arm circled his waist. He hated being touched normally but in the pounding music and dizzying flash of green lights it was different. Even in the pressing heat of the dark room Kurt could feel hot breath on the back of his neck, he leaned back into the rub and slide of a solid male chest and dropped his hand to the larger hand now curving his hipbone. Blinding light momentarily bathed the smile he felt spreading across his face as the man tightened his grip and tugged back on his hips. He didn't know what it was that made him turn around. If he was being honest probably the chance to grind better.

'Kurt!' Blaine's expression of surprise was almost comical as he just stared open mouthed at Kurt. Suddenly his eyes watered and he flung his arms around Kurt's neck. Kurt took a step back as his arms were suddenly full of Blaine and not quite in the way he'd intended. 'Help,' Blaine slurred against his ear and Kurt cringed away from brush of warm lips that were suddenly not so attractive.

Kurt was fairly confident the party was now over for him.

Blaine was warm and strangely small under his arm as Kurt reached around to tightly grasp his other arm and steer him towards the bathrooms. Maybe it was the way Blaine curled into his side as they pushed through the crowds or the pressure on his stomach as Blaine fisted his hand in Kurt's top and clung tightly.

The sneering man in the doorway received the Kurt Hummel bitch stare and Kurt pushed past him with a little tilt of his chin. He hurried now, shoulder bumping the wall as he stumbled under Blaine's sagging weight, they staggered together through the second door and Kurt gripped him tightly as tears started to soak through the thin fabric of his purple top.

'Bl-' The music was now a muffled thump outside and the lights overly bright in the bathroom. Blaine staggered into the wall and dropped heavily to the floor. 'Shit,' Kurt swore and knelt hurriedly beside him, 'hey,' he cupped the back of Blaine's neck, 'hey, c'mere.' Blaine's hunched back shook under his hand and Kurt kept stroking slowly and soothingly. 'Blaine,' his shoes squeaked on the tiles as he shuffled closer, 'come on, talk to me.'

'I have to tell my uncle I just broke up,' Blaine's voice cracked and he blindly pressed his forehead into Kurt's stomach, 'with a girl.'

Kurt threaded his fingers through the mess of dark curls and murmured something vague and soft.

'Fuck him,' Blaine whispered against Kurt. His shoulders shook again. 'Fuck everything.'

'C'mon,' Kurt tucked his hands under Blaine's arms and hauled him roughly up against him. Blaine slumped into his shoulder and sat between his legs as Kurt crouched on the bathroom floor. 'Sh,' he murmured and rubbed firmly over Blaine's upper arm, 'sh, you're fine. You'll be fine.'

'Will you help?'

Watery hazel eyes gazed up at Kurt, unfocused through alcohol and misery. Under the bright lights and on the filthy floor Kurt felt trapped. A hand was wrapped firmly around his heart and squeezing. A hand that would seem to be attached to a short crying man with the most gorgeous eyes Kurt had ever seen. Even in the state Blaine was in they were still gorgeous and it pained Kurt considerably even to admit that to himself.

'Please, please,' Blaine breathed against his ear, his voice trailing away with a small hiccupping sob breaking his voice. His fingers stroked gently at the side of Kurt's neck as he tucked his head down onto his shoulder and cried softly.

'Oh, Blaine,' Kurt tilted his head sideways and laid his cheek on top of messy curls, 'you stupid, stupid idiot.'

'Be my boyfriend?'

So Kurt said yes to the man he barely knew.

Back in the crush of people dancing in the dark Kurt held Blaine close and scanned the crowd for a familiar face.

'I'm taking Blaine home,' Kurt yelled in Rachel's ear, the music thumping loudly around them. Rachel nodded and yelled something inaudible back. Hitching Blaine further up his side, Kurt tightened his grip and steered them both through the crowds towards the door.

That stupid protective feeling made him clutch Blaine tightly against his side as they waited together for a cab, it made him rub his hand briskly down Blaine's arm as the drunk man shivered in the cold and it forced him to let Blaine sleep across his lap in the quiet warmth of the taxi.

Getting Blaine to bed was a simple matter of a push. Blaine snuggled into the bedding and Kurt dropped a blanket over him before seizing one for himself and trailing it behind him as he walked through Blaine's huge apartment towards the couch. He hated that he was concerned.

The slither and thump of the blankets to the floor was loud in the strange stillness of early morning. Weak sunlight glowed across the floorboards and slipped over Kurt's legs and shoulders as he padded across the large lounge area. A quick fumble through kitchen cupboards found him the glasses, the creak of the hinges again too loud. Turning his face to the window, Kurt gazed outside and rolled the glass of water slowly along his lower lip. Would Blaine remember what he'd asked last night? Kurt set the glass down and patted his pockets, checking for keys before he pushed off the bench and slipped his shoes back on.

He was almost out the door when he heard quiet footsteps on the floor behind him.

'Hey,' Blaine said hoarsely, pushing his hair off his eyes as he blinked at Kurt, 'you stay the night?'

'Yeah,' Kurt rubbed his hands awkwardly over his arms as he stood in the hallway.

'Did I- last night- ask?' Blaine fumbled and rubbed his hand along his jaw, flicking his eyes up to hesitantly meet Kurt's.

Kurt wished he could deny it but there was a spark of desperate hope in Blaine's eyes so he did the next best thing. 'You did ask. I said yes. I was off my face drunk,' he lied.

'So-'

'I keep my promises,' Kurt said simply and raised his shoulders in a tiny shrug. The shrug served as a goodbye and he turned towards the lift. And that was that really, a stupid promise made out of sympathy and shared loneliness.

GGGGGGGGG

Blaine stood for several moments in silence outside Kurt's apartment, chewing the inside of his cheek and lifting his hand only to drop it before he knocked.

'What are you doing?' Kurt was as charming as he crossed his arms and propped his shoulder against the doorframe. 'And how do you know where I live?'

'Because I like to stalk you,' Blaine gestured at the door, 'gonna let me?'

With a one shouldered shrug Kurt stepped aside and propped the door open with his foot. Blaine concealed a smile as he received a half-hearted shove. 'So, what do you want?'

Unwinding his scarf, Blaine took the chance to run his eyes over the interior of Kurt's flat. It was small and showed its age in several small ways but it was all very _Kurt_. 'Well,' he stalled and rubbed his scarf between his hands, he hoped Kurt wouldn't take offence or twist it in some sort of Kurt way, 'I have a proposition.'

'I will never sleep with you or kiss you. You aren't my type. Coffee?' Kurt held up a packet of tea in the other hand. 'Tea? I've got quite a selection.'

'Actually,' he took a small step forward and sank gingerly into a dining chair, 'it's about my sister.'

'Oh?' Kurt's eyes lit up. 'Do you think I would be able to meet her? Maybe if we went somewhere with her? That would be a way to get our pictures in the paper with her and all the drama that could follow with that.' Blaine listened to the cupboards doors slam and Kurt's light footsteps on the tiles. 'You're actually surprisingly well known considering you're no one.'

'Thanks,' Blaine cut in.

'Although I guess rich background, powerful business family,' Kurt carried on over the rush of water in the kettle, 'and there was the hushed up drama with Ceecque becoming a model.'

'You should have been at the family dinners then,' Blaine said drily.

Kurt's interested face peered around the corner and over the bench. 'Do tell.'

Blaine sighed and stretched his legs out under the table. 'Just the icy silence and drama. And I think being seen with her would be a clever idea.' He smiled down at the table as he heard a muffled shriek from the kitchen and the sound of faint jumping.

'Wonderful,' Kurt's voice was a bit too composed.

'What I wanted to say was,' Blaine traced a darker strip of wood with his finger, 'I really feel awkward about you doing this for me.'

'I promised,' was all Kurt said.

'I know,' he flexed his hand on the table, 'but it's not right. You were drunk.' If there was a slightly too tense silence from the kitchen he didn't notice. 'I got some pictures of your clothing designs off Rachel,' he continued talking over Kurt's indignant protests, 'and I showed them to my sister.' Kurt's protest cut off with a strangled gasp. 'If you wanted to work with her on it she has agreed to wear an outfit by you to one of her events.'

Something shattered on the kitchen floor. The chair scraped back as Blaine hurried into the kitchen. Sat in a puddle of spilled milk and shards Kurt stared wide-eyed and speechless up at him. 'Is that,' Blaine couldn't read him, 'is that,' he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, 'okay? That way it's just a business arrangement and I feel-' Kurt gave a strangled moan and pressed his hands to his mouth. 'Okay? I've never seen you like this so-' Blaine trailed off uncertainly. 'Are you alright?' He sank to a crouch beside Kurt. He didn't know what to do or think when Kurt tucked his head into his shoulder and started to cry. 'Hey,' he dropped one knee to the floor and tugged Kurt up against his chest, much like Kurt had done for him that night at the party. Brown hair brushed under his chin and Kurt felt soft and warm curled in his arms, sighing faintly Blaine just tightened his arms around Kurt's back and propped his chin on his head.

He waited silently as the clock ticked several slow minutes.

His leg started to cramp.

Sighing again, he squeezed soothingly and gently bumped his chin on Kurt's head. 'If that was a bad idea-' he never got any further as slender hands cupped his face and Kurt's wet eyelashes blinked inches from his.

'Thank you,' Kurt breathed and pressed a fierce and entirely unexpected kiss to Blaine's cheek. Blaine could feel the cold dampness of Kurt's tears and the flutter of eyelashes against his skin. Then Kurt was up on his feet, back to Blaine and reaching for a sponge. Despite the tears still trailing down Kurt's cheeks and the hitch in his breathing nothing else was said. Even as they gathered up the shards of the broken mug by unspoken consent the incidence was not mentioned or discussed. Sitting down on Kurt's little two seater together in front of the TV and clutching warm coffee Blaine received the smallest and softest of smiles he'd ever seen on Kurt. He smiled in return and looked back at the TV in continued silence. So he wasn't the only one with issues.


	4. Chapter 4

So this was where he'd ended up. A resort in Florida. With his _boyfriend._ Kurt snorted to himself and pushed his sunglasses up his nose, tilting his chin and crossing his arms as he stood on the deck of the boat tied up along the pier. The resort even had its own private cruise boat. Kurt snorted again and shifted his weight to his other leg. Any other time this would be nothing short of perfect and he'd be lounging back in a deck chair, cocktail in one hand and a magazine in the other. He lifted a hand and dipped his glasses down, watching the progress of a curly-haired man down the sandy path to the pier. That would be why this trip was somewhat less than perfect. He tapped his foot curtly on the wooden deck.

'I think we should tell them tomorrow,' was Blaine's greeting as he hurried onto the boat.

'What?' Kurt whirled around, voice low and angry. '_Why?_ That doesn't make sense, Blaine. It's supposed to be tonight. Are you having second thoughts?'

Blaine cast hasty glances to the sides and stalked forward quickly. 'Of course I'm having second thoughts!' He murmured.

Kurt raised his hands to his face, turning away from Blaine. 'Jesus.'

'I know, I know,' digging his hands into his pockets, Blaine bit his lip and cast a quick indecisive glance out at the sea. 'I just-'he broke off with a yelp as Kurt stood firmly on his foot. 'What the hell was that?' He demanded.

On the deck above Mercedes pushed her sunglasses up and wriggled down comfortably in her chair. 'I think Kurt and Blaine have found each other. I'm Mercedes, by the way,' she offered her hand out sideways, too warm and lazy in the sun to sit up.

'Wes,' the man beside her said.

'-self important little stuck up-'

Wes shifted uncertainly in his chair on the boat's upper deck and scanned for Blaine. Footsteps clattered loudly down the rear stairs and the angry voices dropped away. 'Blaine never mentioned he knew Kurt.'

Mercedes waved her hand idly. 'They've met a few times, they got off to a bad start and now they just insult each other every time they meet. Kurt never really talks about him. I think they secretly find it a lot of fun.'

The chair creaked as Wes slowly settled back down into it. 'That must have been one seriously bad start.'

'-still have the bruise-' Blaine's lowered voice, no less angry, drifted up from the balcony of the deck below.

'Bruise?' Wes turned to Mercedes.

'Last time Kurt accidentally stabbed Blaine in the leg with one of those,' she paused and mimed a vague jabbing gesture, 'fork things, for toasting marshmellows.'

Wes arched an eyebrow. 'Accidentally.'

'Probably on purpose.'

'I was _drunk_!' Kurt's voice rode over Blaine's quieter words. 'I'd have said yes to a camel!'

The sun shone down brightly across the boat deck and Mercedes just hummed placidly as they rocked gently in the swell. 'No idea what that's about,' she answered Wes' silent question. 'They didn't sleep together though,' she snorted into her drink.

Wes stretched his legs out along the deck chair and reclined back. 'I'm surprised Kurt agreed to come here then if he doesn't get on well with Blaine-'

'Jerk!'

'-hates Blaine,' Wes continued smoothly. 'This place is after all owned by Blaine's parents.'

'He bitched about it for ages but he always said he was coming. But,' Mercedes wriggled her bare feet in the sun, 'so not concerned about that right now. I'm at a resort, I'm on a boat, it's sunny, the water's warm. I think the other guys are arriving later today too. Are any of your other friends coming?'

Wes shook his head. 'Just one other. From what I've heard you sound like you are all better friends and would use this place better than a group of ex-Dalton boys.' He smiled faintly.

Shouts, accusations and the occasional disgusted exclamation still sounded loudly from the deck below, shattering the otherwise peaceful slap and splash of waves against the boat and shoreline. Blaine had invited them all to the brand new resort on the Florida coast as a type of trial group, some form of business venture the details of which escaped her beyond the fact of a discount stay at luxury resort. Mercedes was grateful to both him and to Rachel, who she suspected was behind it becoming an unofficial glee club reunion. Neither Sam, Quinn or Mike were coming, Mercedes bit meditatively on the paper umbrella in her drink, such is life. Families drift apart sometimes and glee club was always more of a family than a group of friends. The vaguely attractive Asian man, Wes, she snuck a sideways glance, possibly more than vaguely attractive, remained silent in the deck chair beside her. Wouldn't stay silent for long once the others arrived. Not that it was now. She sighed as Kurt gave Blaine and everyone within a hundred kilometre radius a piece of his mind. Wes frowned as Blaine started back.

'What could they have to argue about already? They just saw each other ten minutes ago. This is ridiculous and petty.'

'Last time they spent a solid twenty minutes at it after Kurt told Blaine he looked like a goat. Ah,' Mercedes raised her glass as they stopped, 'silence.'

The glare of the sun was bright even through Kurt's sunglasses and the shade of the palm trees on the nearby shore. Blaine stood opposite him, head hung down, dark hair and the back of his neck bathed in sunlight as he stood braced against the railing. Over Blaine's shoulder and further inland stood the outlines of the assorted beach cabins and the larger main complex. Watching the flash of anger and irritation in his hazel eyes was intensely satisfying, completely untainted by guilt as Blaine shot back as good as he got, often with a hint of a smile tugging his mouth. The wooden boards were warm under Kurt's foot as he nudged his foot out of his shoe. Blaine lifted his head to watch.

'You've got weird feet,' Blaine informed him and chewed sharply at his lip.

'You've got a weird face.'

'At least I'm not hiding behind ridiculously oversized sunglasses. Seriously,' Blaine pushed off one hand and reached out to tweak the arm of Kurt's glasses, receiving a stinging slap to his wrist, 'you look like a fly.'

'And yet,' Kurt adjusted them and withdrew his foot from the burning hot boards in the sun, 'I still look better than you.' If Kurt's smile faded too fast, the rapid tap of his fingers against his crossed arms at odds with his relaxed tone Blaine didn't seem to notice. Blaine smacked his palm lightly along the upper railing and glanced out across the crystal blue ocean. Tilting his head back against the cool wall, Kurt smiled up at the overhanging deck. The clear frustration and uncertainty in Blaine's expression was obvious to see and it was a comforting thought that Blaine was as anxious as he felt. Of course, he'd rather fling his sunglasses over the trails than ever admit to Blaine exactly how apprehensive he felt. 'I see you're still as pretentious and overbearing as ever.' Kurt kept his cool smile in place.

'So you _will _do it?'

Kurt rolled his eyes and thumped his back against the wall, 'What do you think I just spent the last ten minutes trying to drill into your thick head?' He snapped and gestured curtly.

'In case you've _already_ forgotten,' Blaine said patronisingly, 'you just said you would have said yes to a camel.'

'And your point being?'

'Seriously, did you just call me a _camel_?' Blaine looked incredulously at him. Even the slant of dark shade across his face failed to hide the faint amused twitch of his lips. 'That's the most ridiculous insult I've ever heard.'

'Shut up,' Kurt snapped witheringly. He pressed his lips together against a small smile. 'Camel.'

'We're going to tell them about us tonight then?' The quick tumble of words took Kurt by surprise after their distracted exchange of insults. The way Blaine shifted uneasily and murmured something inaudible made it clear he hadn't intended to ask.

Despite knowing they couldn't hear Blaine's quiet question, Kurt flicked his eyes up at the upper deck as though Mercedes and Wes could somehow hear through the floor. 'Yes. That's what we agreed before your little fit before, isn't it?' He tried to keep the uncertainty out of his voice, it was always easier to appear distant and unaffected.

'You're like a cold-hearted child. Demon child. I'm trying to destroy my reputation here, have some compassion.'

'Your parents have given you an entire resort to play with, _spoilt_ child.' Kurt welcomed the return of absent-minded insults, neither of their hearts were really in it as they both stared unseeing in thought. At least that's what the nervous drum of Blaine's fingers along the rail seemed to suggest.

'To trial,' Blaine countered. 'It's for business.'

'It's for business,' Kurt mouthed back mockingly.

'God,' Blaine ran his hand through his thick curls, 'it's like you're twelve years old.'

'Better twelve than ten,' Kurt shot back.

'So quick. So witty.'

'Go throw yourself overboard,' Kurt stretched out his leg and pushed Blaine's knee back against the silver railing.

'At least I'm not worried about my precious hair.'

'Because your hair is not in any way precious.'

'I-'

'Shut up!' Mercedes yelled down from the upper deck, cutting Blaine off. 'Both of you! God!'

The splash of the water against the boat and the pier was loud in the sudden silence and Mercedes' sigh of relief was audible. Sunlight slid across Kurt's face as he moved out of the shade, shoes echoing on the wooden boards as he moved for the upper steps.

'Wait,' Blaine ran his fingers through his hair again, 'Kurt,' curls spilled across his forehead as hazel eyes looked into Kurt's with a hint of anxiety, 'one last time, we'll see this out?'

'You were the one having doubts.' He left Blaine standing alone against the railing, sunlight playing through his hair. Once around the corner, out of sight, he released a stuttering breath and took a moment to smooth down his top.

He wanted to hate everything, to just get this done and go home. The resort, as much as it pained him to admit it though, was gorgeous. Following Blaine later that day down the path to their personal cabin he'd tried to keep the approval off his face. Inside was all polished floors, plain sliding wooden slats to divide the room in half, slanted wooden louvers as windows.

Organising his belongings and freshening up for dinner was a trial with an extra person in the room, something Kurt had never actually experienced like this before. He supposed there was some upside to being perpetually single then.

'It's crooked,' Blaine worried his lip and tried to straighten the sloping neckline of Kurt's t-shirt. Small hands absently smacked his away.

'It's supposed to be,' leaning in closer to the mirror, Kurt raised his eyebrows to himself, tilting his head from side to side, up and down to assess himself. 'Aren't you going to be hot?' He glanced critically at Blaine's jeans through the reflection.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Blaine continued his pacing. 'That's sort of the point,' he tried for a nervous grin. Kurt pulled a face in the mirror. 'No?' Blaine spread his arms and looked down at himself. 'Not good?' That irritating neckline of Kurt's top slipped down over his shoulder as he shrugged noncommittally. 'Come on,' Blaine quickly hitched the soft blue fabric up over Kurt's pale shoulder before he could protest, 'tell me, you've got an opinion on everything.'

'Stop touching my top!' Kurt ordered impatiently and reached behind to slap Blaine's thigh. Rubbing his hand along his jaw, Blaine resumed his pacing, bare feet thudding on the cabin's floorboards. He was brought to a quick halt by a finger looped firmly through his belt hold, ever unreadable blue eyes looking at him. 'Sit. Stop pacing.' The brief touch of Kurt's fingers to his hip was strangely gentle before Kurt turned away from Blaine again.

Blaine opened his mouth to cut Kurt off before his eyes flicked quickly over Kurt's shoulder. 'Finn,' he said quickly in greeting and hurriedly slid off the bed. Immediately Kurt's heart skipped a beat and he could almost taste the sudden tension in the room.

'Oh,' Finn blinked, 'hey.' He slid the door open and lingered in the doorway, hands braced on the sides as he leaned his head in. Brown eyes flicked from Kurt to Blaine, their frozen positions and the slow furrow of his brow signalled the beginning of suspicious thought that Kurt recognised too well.

'Just showing Kurt his cabin,' Blaine said quickly before Kurt could open his mouth. He ignored the sideways glance Kurt shot him and, hidden from Finn's view, Kurt beat his palms lightly against his legs.

'Awesome. Dinner in half an hour, yeah?'

'Up on the main verandah,' Blaine stepped forward and Kurt stood frozen awkwardly by the bed.

'Thanks!' Finn's footsteps were loud as he hurried down the steps and jogged back down the sandy path.

'What the hell?' Kurt hissed immediately and Blaine spun around with wide, anxious hazel eyes. 'Again. You didn't tell him. Why not?' A mix of nerves and relief he didn't he'd feel spilled his words out hurriedly. 'The whole point of this trip is that everyone finds out we're _together_.'

'I know, I know,' bare feet padded quickly over the floorboards as Blaine paced in open agitation, '_I know!'_ He cut in quickly and loudly as Kurt opened his mouth again. He thumped his heels down in frustration.

'Believe me, Blaine,' Kurt gestured at the bed, 'I'd much rather not to have to share that with you if you don't want to go through with this.'

'Are you sure about this?' Blaine asked almost desperately. He scrubbed his palm up his cheek, rasping against stubble before curling his fingers through his hair. 'Last chance.'

Kurt got the feeling Blaine was directing that at himself rather than at him. 'Are _you_ sure? It's your reputation you're looking to damage with this fake boyfriend act.'

'I'll introduce you as my boyfriend at dinner,' Blaine tugged at his hair. 'That way the staff will hear too. Gossip.' He swallowed. 'Gossip is good. Scandal.'

The red light of the clock glowed at the beside and Kurt's voice was gentler than he had intended. 'You've got half an hour to make up your mind.' Not for the first time he regretted saying yes to the whole disaster and the fact that, unintentionally, the idea had started with him.

'I'll be outside,' Blaine smoothed his palms over his shirt and swallowed, rubbing his neck again as he pushed the screen door open. It was a mistake. He shook his head immediately against that thought and pushed his curls off his eye. It was the only way to finish it. He wriggled his toes deeper into the sand and tucked his arms across his stomach. He was going to lose his family over this. The sand under his bare-feet was slowly starting to lose the warmth of the sun and Blaine rubbed his hands briskly over his arms despite the warm night air. Small strappy sandals on his feet, Kurt padded silently down the steps behind him and moved out of the faint light of the cabin to join Blaine. They began walking in silence with the only sound the light splash of waves and the quiet squeak of Kurt's sandals on the sand.

'Nervous?' Blaine asked as they passed the golden glow of another cabin's outside lamp.

'Hoping I'm doing the right thing with you,' Kurt's face was hidden as he looked down through the palms to the beach.

'So am I.' Blaine could picture the expression on his father's face. 'So am I.' He knew Kurt's uncertainty ran deeper than he was willing to admit as they continued walking in silence without Kurt's usual snippy comments, even the thought of engaging in another verbal mudslinging match failed to lift the worrying sense of anxiety.

Kurt ducked his head under an overhanging palm leaf. 'So tonight we tell everyone at dinner now and make sure the staff find out?'

It was a pointless question but somehow saying it out loud this final time confirmed it for both of them. 'Yes.'

GGGGGGGG

Blaine felt like he actually was on a first date. How often should he look at Kurt? Should he sit closer? Lean closer? Laugh more? Touch Kurt's hand? He couldn't shake the feeling that Kurt would spear his hand with a fork if he tried that. He rubbed unconsciously at his leg, the site of the unfortunate Kurt and toasting fork incident. Looking down at his plate, Blaine gradually faded out of the lively conversation and stole another sideways glance at Kurt. Biting his lip he quickly looked away with an internal curse, sideways glances probably looked more like he had a crush rather than Kurt being his boyfriend. Kurt laughed at something Puck had said, a bright sound, only Blaine could see the nervous clench and unclench of Kurt's hand under the table. Blaine's breath huffed out as he found himself staring once again at the lopsided slope of Kurt's top. Even the front of the top tugged the wrong way, it was the most irritating item of clothing he had ever seen with that stupid draping short sleeve.

'Your top is driving me insane,' Blaine leaned in to murmur. The pale curve of Kurt's neck and shoulder remained in view as the other man just twitched his lip in an equivalent of a shrug, Blaine clearly not worth the effort of an actual shrug. They both looked up as Mercedes choked on her drink opposite Kurt. Some form of communication seemed to pass between her and Kurt, eyes widening, shoulders raising, mouths opening dramatically, an impressed stare being turned on Blaine before Mercedes gave Kurt an amazed thumbs up.

It was Blaine's turn to start and drop his cutlery to his plate with a loud clink as Kurt's slim hand curved over his thigh under the table, Kurt's nose brushed his cheek as he whispered against his ear. 'She thinks we're dating now.'

Blaine chased Kurt as he drew back, brown hair tickling his cheek as he leaned in closer with false affection. 'Your top seriously looks like it's three sizes too big.'

'It's an off the shoulder,' Kurt hissed through a pleasant smile, 'it's meant to look like this.'

A ripple of murmurs and surprised exclamations travelled down the table and Blaine looked up from Kurt's top to meet Finn's startled brown eyes.

'No way,' Artie glanced in laughing disbelief between Puck and Kurt. 'Seriously?' He looked back at Puck. 'You two?' He pointed at Blaine and Kurt. 'No way,' he repeated.

Kurt avoided responding by slowly positioning his cutlery on his plate, leaving all curious eyes at the table to turn to Blaine instead. He cleared his throat and swiftly kicked his foot into Kurt's leg under the table. 'Yep.' He hoped everyone would take the dip of his head as bashful embarrassment rather than pain and concentration as he engaged in a silent kicking battle under the table with Kurt. The chorus of 'aws' and loud babble of conversation that immediately broke out masked the pained groan as Kurt poked the end of his sandal into Blaine's ankle.

'But you two spent the entire day arguing every time you saw each other?' Wes cast an uncertain glance for support at everyone.

'Any idiot can see they love arguing,' Mercedes waved her hand dismissively and reached across the table to squeeze Kurt's hand, scrunching her nose up as they grinned at each other. Wes just looked curiously at Blaine.

Santana hopped her chair in closer and leaned in, elbows propped on the table. 'So come on, spill, lover-boys. How long has this little something something been going on?'

'Rachel actually set us up on a blind date,' Kurt admitted.

There was no turning back now. Blaine set his hand, palm up, on the table beside Kurt's while Rachel informed everyone of her exact role in bringing them together. Blue eyes flicked quickly between Blaine's face and hand before Kurt's smaller hand slipped into his. He let out a breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding, it was as though they were shaking hands on some important deal. Instead it was the press of Kurt's soft palm against his, the twine of pale fingers through tanned ones, the light pressure of Kurt's thumb were it rested on his skin, all little gestures that promised affection that would never be there. Blaine felt enormously guilty. He lifted his eyes to Kurt's once again and read a mirroring discomfort and sadness in his eyes. Then Kurt gave a tiny helpless shrug and that was that.

GGGGGGG

'Alright?' Blaine asked the figure leaned back against the wall outside the bathrooms. The chatter of voices floated through the still night air from the open dining deck and the silence between the two of them pressed heavily.

'Yeah,' Kurt finally responded and pushed himself off the wall. 'Just needed a minute.'

'Was the hand holding too much?'

Kurt shook his head while simultaneously giving a one-shouldered shrug. 'I touched your thigh?' There was a hidden, tentative question there.

'If you don't mind then I don't mind,' Blaine leaned back on the wooden railing opposite Kurt and stretched his legs out.

Again Kurt shook his head dismissively. 'I don't mind. I honestly don't care. Just no kissing.'

'Why?' Blaine asked curiously. 'I mean, that's fine and all, just why don't you kiss people?'

'That would be my business.'

And snippy Kurt was back. Blaine found himself automatically relaxing. He drummed his fingers along the wide wooden rail along the deck and turned his head to gaze out at the dark sky. 'That's the worst top in the history of the world you're wearing.'

'Oh for God's sake! Get over it, Blaine,' Kurt snapped. He gave his shoulder a defiant little wriggle and the material slipped down fully, now in a diagonal line from his other shoulder to his upper arm.

Around the corner came the sounds of everyone eagerly placing dessert orders and Blaine cast a glance at Kurt. 'The waitress will be coming back this way soon.' An insect hit the lamp above with a dull repetitive clunk and Blaine swallowed. Kurt tilted his chin upwards and rolled his eyes before looking back at Blaine. 'We could, um,' Blaine looked awkwardly at their hands.

'Hold hands? Very daring, if we were fourteen years old.'

'I don't know,' Blaine hissed, 'I don't know what to do, alright?'

'Put your hand on my ass.'

Blaine recoiled immediately. '_What_?'

'Smack it,' Kurt ordered in a low murmur.

Uncertain hazel eyes flicked between Kurt's face and ass. 'Do I have to?' He whispered in an agony of indecision.

'Look,' Kurt wound his hand around the open collar of Blaine's shirt and tugged him close, 'this is only going to work if we make it work.' There was a flash of nerves across Kurt's face. For a moment there was only their panting breath, mouth inches apart, Kurt's fingers curled tightly in Blaine's shirt. Blaine carefully inched his hand down and gently touched Kurt's ass. Kurt glanced over his shoulder and gave Blaine's hand a contemplative stare, ignoring the faint surprised snort as he ran his eyes over the position and spread of Blaine's fingers. 'Is that really where you usually grab?' He turned back to Blaine with a curious glance.

'What do you mean "_is that where I usually grab?"' _Blaine demanded incredulously, he glanced down and over Kurt's shoulder as his own hand before drawing his head back to stare at Kurt. 'What's wrong with that?'

'It's a bit high up,' Kurt said critically. 'You're not really taking a handful as such, are you?'

'I don't want to take a handful,' Blaine retorted. 'There's nothing wrong with higher up.'

'I guess it's because you're short, you'd never be the one tugging anyone up.'

'Oh thanks,' Blaine said indignantly. 'Maybe there's just not much to actually get a handful of on you!'

'Oh yeah? What about _you_?' He dropped his hand and squeezed in quick assessment.

Blaine's dark eyebrows rose steadily. 'Are you trying to call me flabby? Because,' he gave Kurt's ass a firm slap, 'that-'

Footsteps scuffed suddenly behind them with a sharp intake of breath and then hurried away. It was only at that moment Kurt seemed to realise he was actually squeezing Blaine's ass as evidence for an argument. It hit Blaine at the same time. 'Um,' Blaine cleared his throat as they stood awkwardly together.

Kurt gingerly lifted his hand from the dark denim of Blaine's jeans and immediately the firm press of Blaine's splayed fingers dropped away. It was a sad fact that the only groping he'd done in many months had been with Kurt.

'So now I have to start lying to my friends,' the flat note was back in Kurt's voice. 'I hate it,' he turned his face away. 'They're all so happy for me. I feel terrible.'

'Do you want to fake a headache and go back to the cabin?'

'Yes,' Kurt rubbed his neck.

'Do you,' Blaine broke off to chew his lip and glance back towards the source of the loud cheerful voices.

'You can come and "look after me",' Kurt's expression said he understood Blaine's desire not to be left alone with the questions. There would be time for that tomorrow. The walk back to the cabin was done in silence, Blaine unsure what to say to bridge the gap between them. By unspoken and mutual agreement they avoided each other in the bathroom, a few uncertain glances and finally a short snap from Kurt before Blaine cleared the room to let him change. It was strange navigating around another person like this, sharing a room with someone who wasn't a friend, someone whom you couldn't simple nudge out of the way of the bathroom sink and where the placement of luggage and unpacked clothes signified a staking of enemy occupied territory. All in all, Blaine had no idea of how he was expected to act around Kurt in private.

Blaine was settled comfortably on the right side of the bed, the crisp white sheet draped over his raised knees as he read when Kurt finally emerged from the bathroom and gave a little huff of disapproval. Blaine flipped the page and kept reading.

'I always sleep on the right side,' Kurt stripped the sheet down on the left side and dropped down heavily, deliberately making Blaine's book jolt down his legs.

'That so?' Blaine just raised an eyebrow. Kurt fanned his loose silk pyjama top out comfortably and settled back into the pillow with his magazine. Blaine let his book fall closed and dropped his legs with a soft slither of sheets on skin. He leaned across to the bedside cabinet and set his book down before laying down flat on the mattress. He was surprised when Kurt soon set aside his magazine and flicked the light off, the cabin falling into peaceful darkness. Someone else in the bed beside him. It had been a while since that, Blaine thought wistfully. Kurt rolled over and accidentally, or probably not, kicked him in the ankle.

'It's hot,' Kurt broke the silence after several minutes of silence. Blaine could now make out his face in the striped moonlight from the open louvers along the walls.

'Want to close up and turn on the air-con?' Blaine pushed himself up onto his elbows.

'If you touch me at any point during the night,' Kurt threw his top down the end of the bed, he let his sentence hang as an open threat.

'Same goes for you.' It felt much nicer, the air on his bare skin. 'I don't want to wake up with pale clammy hands anywhere near me.' He yelped out a laugh as Kurt's foot sought out his leg under the sheet for another swift kick.


	5. Chapter 5

'You've got a hairy chest.'

Blaine cracked an eye open blearily, Kurt's face meeting his gaze. 'Good morning to you too,' he mumbled and rolled heavily onto his back. The sheets bunched around his knees as he stretched and yawned widely, shoving his hand into Kurt's neck as he spread out comfortably. Kurt huffed a short irritated breath at him and Blaine flicked a now curious glance at him. 'Why the sweet tone so early, oh charmer?'

'You used me as a mattress.'

'Sorry,' Blaine stifled another yawn, 'I'm a snuggler. Just,' he mimed a vague gesture, 'push me away if I do it again tonight. Or give me a pillow.' That didn't get the acidic coo he expected and he pushed up onto his elbows, looking down at Kurt splayed out beside him. 'What's wrong? Did I say something in my sleep?'

'No,' Kurt chewed his lip and surveyed him through long eyelashes, his cheek pillowed on his arm. 'You were really clingy,' he said finally, 'it was strange, that's all.'

'Sorry,' Blaine apologised again uncertainly and felt there was something else to the awkwardness than just at waking up beside him.

Kurt shrugged, an awkward movement lying down. 'It's fine. The snuggling was nice. Don't do it again though,' he added quickly and Blaine thought maybe he understood.

'Haven't been in a relationship for a while?' He guessed.

'You could say that. Anyway,' Kurt rolled over onto his back, 'I like to read for a bit in bed, you can get up and do your stuff or stay,' he shrugged.

Leaning his head against the headboard, Blaine silently watched Kurt for a moment, the flicker of shadows on his cheeks as he shut his eyes and the slow rise and fall of his chest. Pale had never been the most appealing of tones to him but Kurt made it elegant and strangely attractive, like his fingers would glide smoothly over his skin if he was to touch him. 'Do you mind if I take a picture for facebook?' Blaine broke the silence and Kurt's eyes flicked open, 'how we are now. In a bed. Together.'

'You were nervous about touching my ass last night,' Kurt leaned sideways to reach for his magazine, the sheets slipping to reveal the pale curve of his back, 'now you want to take pictures of us in bed?' He raised an eyebrow at Blaine.

'Not like _that_. Just, you know, cuddling.'

'Naw,' Kurt biffed his shoulder in mock playfulness, 'cuddles. Cute.' He flipped open his magazine.

'Suggestions then if you know everything?'

The magazine dropped to Kurt's raised knees as he chewed his lower lip. 'Typical couple pose. Not a _cuddle_.'

'Fine.' Blaine pulled his phone off the bedside cabinet.

'Fine,' Kurt repeated and drew his knees up to his chest and looped his hands around his ankles.

Blaine turned around on the bed and glanced over his shoulder, 'Well?' He spread his arms and waited. A sigh and the dip of the mattress was the only warning he got before bare legs were draped over his thighs and he was being tugged back against Kurt's chest.

'Go on then,' Kurt's voice was no more soft or intimate for being a centimetre from his ear.

Bare skin rubbed softly against his back as Blaine shifted and settled with his head tilted into Kurt's shoulder. 'I think we're supposed to look coupley, not like you're throttling me from behind Gollum style.' He was surprised to feel laughter hum through Kurt's chest and the soft puff of breath down his cheek. A soft hand rested gently in the centre of his chest and Kurt's other hand inched across his stomach. Despite himself Blaine felt his skin prickle at that deliberately intimate touch, it was _Kurt_ and he honestly was not attracted to Kurt, but it seemed his body was currently having issues distinguishing between diva Kurt and the male hands pressed to his bare skin. Blaine raised the phone and tried hard not to think about the back of Kurt's thighs rubbing over the hem of his boxers.

The phone dropped from his hand as Kurt drifted a slow kiss along his jaw. 'Not that difficult, Blaine. Just take the picture.'

'You're being distracting,' Blaine muttered and picked up the phone.

'Deal with it.'

'I am.'

Kurt twanged the waistband of Blaine's boxers and Blaine yelped. 'No you're not. Just pretend you're doing a photo-shoot for a magazine. Here,' Blaine blinked as Kurt's hand gestured impatiently in front of his face, 'give me the phone.'

Despite the pained twist to Blaine's face and the occasional roll of Kurt's eyes the camera captured, Blaine had to admit that with Kurt's arms around his waist and their legs tangled they looked like a couple. It was unnerving. Kurt sighed and Blaine tensed again as for that moment Kurt pressed close at the small of his back. Just a quick touch of sleep warm bare skin then it was once again only the press of Blaine's back to Kurt's chest.

'Should I give you a hickey or something?' Blaine asked awkwardly.

'Bruises linger for too long on my skin. I should probably give you one.'

And that was that. A simple matter of fact discussion about something they shouldn't even be discussing. Blaine rolled his shoulders away from Kurt, tensing again as Kurt's ankle trailed up his leg while Kurt shuffled away from him.

'Lie down,' Kurt ordered and bumped his shoulder. Blaine traced the determined set of his mouth and the angle of his chin before slumping back and gazing helplessly up at the wooden ceiling. He couldn't decide what would be worse, watching Kurt or piecing together an image in his head as the mattress dipped and soft breath ghosted over his skin. He swallowed audibly and felt Kurt's breath stutter as he laughed softly. He tried imagining a different man, any man, laying across the bed next to him, his fingertips inches from Blaine's waist as he laid his hands on the rumpled sheets and bent his head towards the dip above his hipbones. His blonde hair would be falling slowly over his eyes and hanging just millimetres from Blaine's bare skin, almost touching as the man first trailed his nose in a gentle line towards his navel. Blaine calmed his breathing and heartrate, just a random blonde man, not Kurt, it was easier when it wasn't Kurt. But it was Kurt. No one else would slap his arm to get him to keep still while giving him a hickey. God it had been too long. _Much_ too long. He could barely hold in a groan as Kurt's lips finally touched above his hipbone. _Oh_ that was tongue. The sheets dragged under his shoulders as his back moved in a rolling arch, pushing closer to that hot, wet pressure.

'Hold _still_,' Kurt mumbled against him and shoved his arm, 'I'm not done yet.'

Blaine dropped his arm over his eye. 'Oh God,' he whispered. Kurt's hand splayed slowly across his ribs as he sucked gently. '_Oh God!' _His free hand fisted tightly in the duvet. Teeth scraped lightly across sensitive skin and Blaine's hand twisted, muscles flexing down his arm as he fought to anchor himself while Kurt continued teasing. It was plain teasing, that slow, wet drag of his lower lip was almost unbearable. 'Kur-_oh!'_ Blaine drew in a sharp gasp. 'Little bit less with the teeth.' His fingers automatically fell to the back of Kurt's neck and threaded through his hair. The mattress squeaked as Kurt shifted sideways and Blaine groaned, arching his back and slipping his leg between Kurt's. Kurt immediately gasped and rolled his hips down onto Blaine's thigh. His nose pushed into the soft skin of Blaine's lower stomach, eyelashes fanned across his cheeks and lips parted in a soundless pant. Blaine tentatively pressed his thigh up between Kurt's legs and watched as Kurt shuddered and cried out softly. Another upwards press and Kurt gasped louder still.

'Again,' Kurt breathed, face creasing in pleasure as Blaine rubbed against him. '_Oh-'_

Blaine jerked his leg away with a pounding heart and Kurt collapsed panting down into the bedding. 'Oh God,' Blaine murmured weakly. Kurt laid still, face down and shaking faintly with his legs splayed out and the pale blue of his cotton shorts pulled tight over his ass.

From his position of retreat on the pillows, Blaine watched Kurt's throat move as he lifted his head, swallowed, and released a quiet breath. 'This has nothing to do with me helping you. This is just something that happened. Okay?' His eyes flicked down to where Blaine was obviously half-hard in his boxers.

'Okay,' Blaine echoed quietly. Kurt gave him an unreadable glance and slid off the bed, untangling himself from the bedding and seemingly uncaring of Blaine's uncertain eyes on his body. 'Wait,' Blaine cleared his throat and shifted the bedding over himself, 'what does – what do we do?'

Kurt shrugged, muscles shifting neatly under pale skin. 'Don't think about it.'

Blaine groaned and pressed his hands over his face and rolled over into the pillow. The pillow smelled faintly of Kurt's shampoo and he could still feel the heat of his mouth on his hip. His eyelashes fluttered against the pillow as he quietly watched Kurt pad down the stairs to the bathroom with an unconscious swing of his hips. At least he could admit to himself that felt in no way attached to Kurt, if he was honest he did enjoy their bickering, the tiny secret smile he would sometimes see on Kurt's face after a particularly good exchange of insults but there was a lack of any romantic attachment. But Kurt's mouth had felt all kinds of good. He pressed his face back into the pillow.

It was easy to lay in bed dozing, pretending to himself that was all he came for, a holiday. Kurt had long since disappeared, calling out something about the beach and slamming the screen door behind him. The sun was starting to shine hotly through the window by the time he eventually rolled out of bed.

The sand was deliciously warm under Blaine's feet when he padded quickly down the cabin steps and wriggled his toes down into the path. A clear high laugh sounded behind him and he glanced over his shoulder to see Kurt smiling and shaking his head. The smile was quickly hidden as Kurt caught him watching and he hitched the towel and cloth bag higher up in his arms and strode past. Through the line of palm trees Blaine could make out the shapes of what looked like Puck and Tina struggling awkwardly into fins and masks, the others with towels slung over their shoulders made their slow way down the beach towards them. Tina turned, mask in place, and gave Kurt an enthusiastic thumbs up for the camera before flopping her way down into the water. Kurt bent over in laughter as Puck kicked his legs up and attempted a jig and Blaine lingered back feeling slightly awkward. Still grinning widely, Kurt glanced over his shoulder and gestured Blaine down with a warm smile that was for the benefit of surrounding people.

When Blaine finally jolted himself out of his thoughts Kurt was lounging back on one of the wooden beach chairs, sunglasses on under his wide-brimmed hat and a magazine held idly in his hand. He was steadily avoiding Blaine's gaze with a faint pink flush down his neck. Blaine cleared his throat and looked the other way.

'Blaine,' Brittany pressed a bottle of sunscreen into his hand before Santana tugged her laughing down towards the water, 'for Kurt's back!' She called up at him.

Blaine curled his toes in the sand and tightened his hand on the bottle before slowly inching his way towards the beach chair.

'I guess this is your beach ritual?' Blaine broke the silence awkwardly and stood in the shade beside Kurt.

He watched Kurt's pink flush deepen to red and he jerked his head in a quick nod. 'I burn through light cotton,' the words tumbled out quickly and tersely.

Blaine swallowed. 'Move forward.'

'It's probably not-'

'It'll look-' They both spoke at the same time then paused and Kurt grudgingly shuffled forward on the seat and Blaine gingerly straddled it behind him. He touched his hands lightly to the trim waist in front of him and leaned forward to press his mouth to Kurt's ear. 'What happened before-' Kurt just hummed pleasantly and Blaine hissed as fingernails dug into his thigh.

'I don't want to talk about it,' Kurt shot out between gritted teeth, forcing a smile as Mercedes waved up at him.

The slap of cold sunscreen on his bare-skin made him hiss and roll his shoulders uncomfortably. 'Sorry,' Blaine smoothed his hand down Kurt's spine.

Eventually the brisk rub of Blaine's hands slowed and instead of a quick swipe Kurt felt fingertips gently tracing his spine. The wooden seat creaked and Blaine's knees shifted on either side of Kurt. Warm skin pressed against his bare back and muscles bunched pleasantly when Blaine looped his arms around Kurt's waist, hands slipping back up under his top.

'I don't need sunscreen there,' Kurt tried to squirm away.

'I know,' Blaine sounded miserable. 'But it's a boyfriend sort of thing to do.' Light, nervous hands settled on the tuck of his waist, curving from behind and squeezing,

The generic magazine Kurt had been holding dropped to the sand, pages fluttering in the tiny breeze, both hands now free he gingerly curled his fingers around Blaine's thighs and leaned back into his chest. 'I guess,' he murmured.

'I like holding people,' Blaine confessed. 'I'm sorry I'm making this so awkward.'

Stalker jokes would have been only too easy, but with Blaine's heartbeat steady under his cheek and the slow rub across his chest Kurt just hummed lazily and let it pass. Maybe this was how it _felt_ to have a boyfriend too. Not that he'd know. The harsh and uncaring grind of naked skin was all he'd experienced because, and he'd figured this one out pretty fast, love wasn't blind and it didn't like Kurt Hummel.

'Is this all okay? Do you want me to leave now?'

There was a moment as they both tensed slightly, eyes running over the beach and what everyone would be seeing, weighing it against the sheer awkwardness of so much bare skin pressed together, then- 'Shut up,' Kurt mumbled and closed his eyes.

'Kurt, before-'

'You like holding me,' the laughing shouts of the others and running footsteps sounded distant, lost under the splash of waves and the rhythmic beat against his ear, Kurt shifted comfortably, 'and I like being held. Things escalated. End of story.'

'How come?'

Kurt huffed a frustrated sigh and wriggled his shoulders pointedly. 'Doesn't everyone? Why do you like holding someone?'

The comforting weight of Blaine's hands started their gentle stroke again. 'It's nice. It feels like someone cares.'

'Exactly.'

The pages of the magazine flipped on the sand and Kurt smiled lazily when Blaine lifted his legs up onto the chair with a slow creak from the wooden planks. With his top still bunched at the back around his neck it was easy to enjoy the slide of sunscreen slicked skin when Blaine reclined into the chair back and guided Kurt down with him. In the shade under the palm tree and with hands now still on his stomach and chest, Kurt dozed in Blaine's arms.

Less pleasant was being woken up to the sound of a camera clicking and a mocking coo from Santana. Blinking blearily Kurt lifted his head from where he had slipped to Blaine's stomach and tried to glare at Santana.

'Facebook,' she mouthed and waved the camera before blowing a kiss.

Groaning sleepily, Blaine stretched under Kurt and tapped Kurt on the shoulder. 'Wzzat?'

'Santana, a camera and facebook,' Kurt reluctantly pushed himself off Blaine, sitting between his knees to stretch languidly.

'Awesome,' Blaine dropped his head back down and stretched again.

'You're awake!' Puck lobbed a beachball at Kurt. Kurt ducked and let it smack Blaine. 'Up for a game of beach volley ball or something?'

Kurt had the chair to himself when Blaine bounded eagerly after Puck. The chair felt hard and uncomfortable after using Blaine as a cushion. Not for the first time he felt the twisting ache in his chest at the thought of actually having someone curl up with like that, the miserable loneliness that surfaced every time he watched romantics movies and inevitably ended up with him crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry's on the couch. Kurt picked up his magazine and shook the sand out.


	6. Chapter 6

'Alright,' Blaine dropped down to the sand beside him and tilted his head expectantly, 'what's up?'

'Nothing's up,' Kurt shifted his feet on the cooling sand and gazed out at the dark sea.

Out the corner of his eye Kurt could see the faint outline of Blaine's messy hair ruffling in the breeze and the steady watch of his eyes, finally he gave in and met Blaine's gaze. 'You've barely insulted me the last two, practically three days and you've been avoiding me, which,' he leaned slightly closer, 'is pretty hard to do at a small resort and in the one cabin.' The warmth in his eyes made a smile tug unbidden at Kurt's mouth. 'C'mon,' Blaine hesitated, then tapped the backs of his fingers against Kurt's leg, 'what is it? Second thoughts? Because I've got to let you know I went way past second weeks ago and I'm currently having thirty-forth thoughts.'

'Some self-evaluation,' Kurt confessed. He tilted his face up towards the stars and gazed quietly. He turned his face back down to the sand. He snorted suddenly in self-disgust and ground his palm down into the sand, bleakly enjoying the harsh drag across his skin. Blaine sighed and shifted beside him. 'What are you doing out here anyway? I thought you'd gone to bed.'

'Wondered where you were, I thought you might want someone to talk to.'

This was dangerous territory, the gap between the public couple of Kurt and Blaine and the two men that staged careful walks and naps to avoid ever walking in on the other in the bathroom. They didn't _talk_, they just communicated. The almost-but-not-quite grinding incident had made things awkward to such an extent that Kurt was convinced Blaine was going to stage a minor fight just for the excuse of spending a night out of the cabin. Kurt hated himself for actually starting to miss Blaine's company.

Blaine sighed again. 'Lie down,' he dropped back to the sand with a gentle thud and tugged at Kurt's shoulder.

'Sandy hair,' Kurt said absently. He tucked his chin over his shoulder and looked down as Blaine wordlessly patted his stomach. He raised an eyebrow faintly.

'Don't argue,' Blaine said simply. Kurt crossed his ankles neatly and folded his arms across his stomach as he gazed up at the inky sky. 'You hate appearing weak, don't you?' Blaine said conversationally. 'I know this is all weird and you might not believe me, but I know you quite well, Kurt, and once you know what signs to look for they are hard to miss.'

'I don't have signs,' Kurt said shortly and tucked his arms in tighter. He squirmed sideways as Blaine touched his hand to Kurt's bare arm and his chest hummed with a quiet chuckle.

'What was that little arm tuck then?'

'You fidget with your hair when you're nervous,' Kurt shot back.

'And you snap when you feel threatened,' Blaine finished softly. 'Why? Is it because I know you better than anyone here?'

The sand shifted with a rasp and Kurt tried to struggled up while a firm hand splayed around his chest tugged him back down. 'Jesus, Blaine,' he thumped his head down and listened as his breath huffed out suddenly at that. 'I think I've known Mercedes longer than you.' He felt Blaine shrug under his head.

'You're all Kurt with me. Snarky and bitchy and bossy-' Kurt scoffed incredulously to himself as Blaine went on listing, '-and so lonely you're willing to do almost anything just to feel like someone cares,' Blaine finally concluded quietly.

The sand seemed colder and the bright stars so distant as Kurt felt the fight drain out of him. 'I am?' He couldn't even turn it into a snap, it just sighed out, defeated and sad. So Blaine could read him better than he could. He felt even more pathetic.

'I am too.'

The quiet lap of the waves on the sand was the only sound as they laid together on the deserted beach and Kurt slowly stretched and tucked back against Blaine.

'Why didn't you want me to know?' Blaine asked after some time.

Kurt traced patterns in the sand beside him. 'Because I didn't. But now you know. Can we not talk about this?'

Eventually the gentle rise and fall of Blaine's chest under his head slowed and the occasional twitch of his foot stopped. Lulled by Blaine's breathing and the peaceful sounds of the beach Kurt felt himself drifting. He was on the verge of sleep when Blaine's hand loosely draped over his chest. In the moonlight Kurt traced the silvery shadows and dips of Blaine's hand with his eyes. It was a nice hand. Capable looking. Gentle. It thudded down quietly into the sand as Kurt slowly shifted around to prop himself up on an elbow beside Blaine. The other man slept peacefully on, lips faintly parted and eyelashes dark shadows on his cheeks. With his dark curls spilling across his forehead and down on the sand he looked...nice. The grey fabric of his t-shirt pulled across a stockier frame than Kurt's own and he knew for a fact the tiny sliver of pale skin between his hem and pants was part of a perfect flat stomach. That was also...nice. He tried not to think about what he was doing or why when he laid his head down on Blaine's firm shoulder and curled his open hand over his side. Comfort, that's all it was.

It was cold that woke him up. Cold and the wet swirl of loose clothing around his legs. Blinking slowly Kurt blearily opened his eyes and took a moment to orientate himself. On the beach. On Blaine. In the water.

'Fuck!' Kurt sprang up with a loud splash. His hands flew to his hair, his back, his waist and back to his hair. 'Blaine!' He dug his toe into the sleeping man's side and danced sideways as the next wave came rushing up the sand. 'Fuck!' He squeaked again and ran up the beach, pants slapping around his legs and his top hanging wetly down one shoulder. There was a sleepy and confused mumble behind him then a high-pitched yelp and sudden splashing as Blaine scrambled hastily backwards.

'This is your fault!' Kurt yelled over his shoulder, cursing as he stubbed his toe in the silvery darkness. Leaves hit across his face as he pushed blindly through towards the dim light on their cabin porch. His clothes clung uncomfortably and despite the warm night he shivered and rubbed quickly at his bare arms.

'My fault? _My fault?_ How is this _my fault?' _Blaine thumped up the cabin steps behind him and incredulously stood dripping water over the doormat. He looked like a bewildered wet dog in under the faint outside lamp.

'Because I want someone to blame and you'll do!' Kurt shoved the door open and reached behind him to yank Blaine through with a handful of wet t-shirt. Anger, hot and completely irrational surged through him as he lunged for someone to blame, anyone, for the confusing swell of emotions that made him curl up at Blaine's side on the beach.

Blaine quickly caught his hand. 'Stop,' he dragged Kurt to a halt, 'yelling at me!'

'Why?' Kurt asked in sudden bitterness.

'What's wrong with you?' Blaine's expression softened minutely and he tried to touch cold fingers to Kurt's cheek. Kurt twitched his head away. His face hardened again. 'Why are you always so angry?'

'I don't want,' Kurt pushed his hand away, 'your help.'

'Yes you do!' Knuckles bumped Kurt's chest as Blaine seized the front of his tshirt and tugged him forward. 'Everything you do is looking for help! All the snapping and the bitching because you want someone to sit up and notice how _miserable_ you are.' Kurt's eyes started to prickle as Blaine continued relentlessly on. 'And you're so perfect and happy with everyone else but here I am and it's just too easy to take it out on me because you're afraid and my feelings don't matter-'

Kurt choked on a sob.

'Shit,' the anger drained out of Blaine's face, 'oh, Kurt, I'm- I'm sorry.'

'Don't,' Kurt shoved firmly at Blaine's chest as he tried to step forward, 'touch me.' Blinking wet eyelashes he sniffed and pressed his hands over his face, tears squeezing down his palms as he stood silently.

'Kurt, Kurt,' Blaine's voice still drew closer, 'I'm terrified too and –and it was easy to just yell at-' cold, wet arms slipped around Kurt's shoulders and he struggled back violently.

'I said don't touch me!' Kurt yelled and slammed his palms against Blaine. The other man staggered backwards and his hand flew up to his chest. Kurt stood still, tears mixing with water on his cheeks as he shivered uncontrollably.

Slowly Blaine lifted his head up and gazed in confused hurt. 'Why?' He whispered, voice catching slightly as he slowly looked back down at his chest and lifted his hand away.

'Because you're right,' Kurt spat, all the hatred and disgust in his voice directed in at himself. He raised shaking hands to slap his tears away. He looked up in surprise as tentative fingers closed around his wrist.

'Hey,' Blaine still kept his distance, 'you admitted I was right. That's gotta count for something?'

'I-' Kurt wanted to confess everything, how he really felt, the overwhelming guilt and loneliness, the constant cold clench across his chest and longing that never really disappeared, 'I'm cold,' he said finally. He sniffled and turned his head away.

'Yeah,' Blaine stepped back and his shoulder slumped slightly, 'me too.' Looking up through wet eyelashes Kurt tried to pour the apology he couldn't voice into his gaze. Blaine gently shoved his shoulder and twitched a small smile. 'Hey,' he said softly.

'Hey,' Kurt echoed.

'You look stupid.'

Kurt smiled just a bit. Insults, avoiding the real questions. That was what they did best. 'You look like a wet dog,' he murmured back. He shivered and rubbed his arms quickly.

Bare feet slapped wetly across the floor boards, squeaking as they padded down into the bathroom. Blaine shoved Kurt in the back and Kurt gave him a squelching slap across the side as he hastily tried to strip off cold clothes. He peeled his tshirt over his head and flung it down with a wet slap to the tiles as he hopped on the spot. Eyes met in tentative, flicked glances and slowly laughter started to sound softly between their shivering movements. Blaine's top dropped with a squelch, cold hands fumbled shakily with zippers and buttons, bare feet pattered and slapped on the warm tiles, Kurt braced a hand on the wall and wriggled out of tight, clinging fabric. He looked across at Blaine and finally laughed openly. Blaine's eyes warmed and he flashed Kurt a grin.

'F-' Blaine hurriedly stripped his pants down and hopped awkwardly, 'first shower.' He staggered sideways to block the entrance as Kurt darted forward. His shoulder hit the wall with a thump, his ankle caught up in sodden cloth and Kurt stumbled into him, grasping desperately over his shoulder for the tap. 'I bagsed it!' Blaine protested over his shoulder and tried to shove him backwards. Pants slithered across the tiles as he kicked them hurriedly away and seized Kurt around the waist.

'Not,' Kurt struggled violently, 'fair!'

'Hold _still!'_ Blaine gripped him tightly and Kurt stopped, wide-eyed. Blaine suddenly flashed him a wide grin and darted back under the shower spray.

'Oh!' Kurt lunged forward and skidded into Blaine. Strong arms caught him around his waist and held him tightly. Dark wet curls draped over Blaine's forehead and Kurt went quiet. 'Oh,' he repeated, quieter and breathlessly. The tension of only minutes ago was back again and Kurt's breath quickened as Blaine's gaze flicked down. Kurt slowly touched his fingers to the angry red patch, site of his shove, on Blaine's chest and brushed his fingertips along soft, cold skin. 'Sorry,' he murmured. Blaine's breath panted quietly against his cheek. Then Blaine slowly touched his chest and Kurt finally relaxed because this, _this_ he understood.

Feet fumbled and hands grasped desperately, bare skin pressing, sliding as they staggered together. Blaine's skin felt cool and silky under Kurt's hand as he hurriedly clutched his neck and rocked up against Blaine's chest. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back with a soundless pant and smile, digging his fingers into the back of Blaine's neck and rising up on his toes he deliberately slid his chest up Blaine's again and groaned in pleasure.

'Jesus,' Blaine muttered against his ear, mouth wet and hot, 'you don't _ah-'_ his breath hitched as Kurt dragged his fingertips down his chest, pressing hard and splaying his hand firmly over his stomach, 'hold back.'

Kurt bit his earlobe and flicked his tongue over it, drawing back with a firm tug and pulling a keening whimper from Blaine. He stepped back an inch with a breathless, content smirk as Blaine tried to rock his hips forward. He pushed his hand warningly on Blaine's stomach and leaned in again, this time panting over his ear before nipping gently and chuckling when Blaine whined and tried to push against his hand.

'I knew it,' Blaine panted, 'I _knew_ you'd be a tease.'

'God, you're one of those people that talk all through sex,' Kurt rubbed the pad of his thumb along the soft skin above Blaine's waistband. He skittered his fingers down the jut of his hipbone and traced a single fingertip back up.

'There's nothing wrong with making a connection,' Blaine muttered into his neck, nuzzling along his hairline. He finally seemed to work up the courage to run his hand over the back of Kurt's thigh, lingering just under the hem. Kurt rolled his eyes and reached behind him to grip his wrist and firmly slide his hand higher. Blaine tensed and Kurt groaned contentedly.

'There, that's my ass.' Kurt covered Blaine's hand and slowly twined their splayed fingers together and rubbed his palm over the back of his hand encouragingly. Blaine's chest rose and fell rapidly, his lips parted and eyes screwed shut. 'Dear God, please tell me you know what to do here?' Nodding, Blaine swallowed thickly and Kurt watched the nervous bob of his throat. 'Oh for-' he cupped the front of Blaine's boxers and squeezed.

Blaine screamed and dug his fingers into the curve of Kurt's ass.

'Better,' Kurt purred against his cheekbone. He slowly rubbed his palm down the hard line of Blaine's cock. Squeezing experimentally, he withdrew his hand when Blaine snapped his hips forward. The whine that followed cut into a strangled moan when Kurt ground against him. Kurt arched his hips forward and wound both hands ups up through Blaine's tangled curls, he tipped his head back and started to pant harder as Blaine seemed to get the idea. Heavy hands cupped the bare skin of his ass and held him in place, pinning him there while Blaine continued to thrust. His feet squeaked on the tiles as he spread his legs wider and his pleasured moan echoed back. This was how he liked it, in control with someone else doing the work. Panting, Blaine ground against his hip, his leg tight between Kurt's thighs. Only the tight grip of a hand threaded through his hair kept his head from lolling back breathlessly as the scratch of stubble under his chin melted into heavy kisses. He shifted blindly and groaned his approval when Blaine thrust directly against his cock.

'Bos-' Blaine's whole body was shaking, 'bossy.'

'Less clothes,' Kurt ordered. His back arched and body leaned away, hips kept locked together by the grip on his ass and the desperate thrusts from the other person, that was exactly how he liked it. Less clothes was always better though.

Blaine stopped, 'You sure?'

Kurt opened his eyes and sighed faintly at the look on Blaine's face. Straightening, he released his clenched hands from behind Blaine's neck and pressed their bodies flush together. He couldn't help the faint little moan as their damp skin rubbed slickly and Blaine swallowed loudly again. 'Do you want to?' He smoothed his palms down Blaine's arms and looked directly into his eyes, almost black and fixed on Kurt's mouth. 'Honestly?'

'Yes,' Blaine breathed, still not moving, his eyes still locked on Kurt's lips.

Kurt waited, then gave in and wrapped his fingers almost gently around Blaine's hand. Usually it would be an exasperated huff and a quick grip and thrust, but he somehow couldn't bring himself to do it. Not when he could feel the tremble of Blaine's body against his and the pounding of his heart. He flattened Blaine's hand over his lower stomach, resisting the urge to roll his hips, keeping his eyes trained on Blaine's face, he slowly urged Blaine's hand downwards. Confusion flashed briefly over his face and this time Kurt did roll his eyes. His fingertips started to brush over the outside of Kurt's boxers and want and attraction lit up Blaine's eyes, he still wasn't quite getting the point though. Kurt gave up and used his other hand to pull open the waistband of his boxers and shoved Blaine's hand down.

'Wait,' Blaine breathed and froze. His hand, firm and calloused, brushed teasingly against Kurt's cock.

'Oh my God,' Kurt groaned and dropped his forehead heavily to Blaine's shoulder, 'you've a virgin.'

'No!' Blaine spluttered at him. 'My _phone_,' he hurriedly pulled his hand out and sprinted out of the shower.

With a groan of frustration Kurt just slumped his forehead against the cold tiles as Blaine ran on wet feet out of the bathroom. Well that was that.

The murmur of a one-sided conversation started up in the main room but Kurt just slowly padded his way out of the shower. Sitting on the low little ledge it was an after-thought to reach in and turn the water off. He looked half-heartedly at his erection then gave up and just waited.

Kurt looked up as Blaine poked his head around the door and looked down with a strange mixture of excitement and fear. 'It's started.'

'It's the following through that seems to be the problem,' Kurt snapped. He sighed at Blaine's expression and mollified his tone with effort. 'What's started?'

'That was my father. Apparently Cec,' he rubbed his hands distractedly up and down his neck, 'Cec had an interview and worked family in somewhere, you know the questions she gets asked,' he flicked his eyes up to Kurt's then nervously away, 'and she spun my _tragic_ story,' he waved his hand shortly, 'and well, I-he-because we're _here_, both of us, she didn't say anything but there must have been guesses because now Father thinks,' another short gesture in the opposite direction, 'that we're here to, you know-'

'Have a romantic getaway and hot sex in the shower?' Kurt suggested mildly even as his heart started to beat faster. No going back now.

'Yeah,' Blaine gave him a quick, shy little glance through his eyelashes, 'about that-' he let it trail away and dropped his eyes to Kurt's wet shorts and a tiny smile tugged at his mouth. 'I mean,' his expression sobered hastily, 'he doesn't even know who you are or anything like that, just that there is another guy here. With me. She didn't even say I was gay but-'

'What did you say to him?'

'I tried to avoid direction questions and didn't answer,' Blaine looked up for reassurance. 'That's what we said, wasn't it? He doesn't know anything for sure but he's suspicious.'

'You ramble when you're nervous,' Kurt surprised himself by saying fondly.

'I'm cold,' Blaine shivered suddenly as if only just remembering. Standing on the step in drenched green boxers he wriggled his toes. He shivered again.

Hazel eyes met his in obvious surprise as Kurt pulled down a couple of towels and threw one up to Blaine. 'Get changed and get into bed.'

When Kurt slipped between the sheets and settled back into the pillows it was impossible to tell whether his continuing shivers stemmed from cold, nervous or a mix of both with excitement. A heavier weight draped across his legs as Blaine tugged the blanket up and nestled down with a violent shiver of his own.

'What do we do now?'

Reaching behind him Kurt wordlessly grasped Blaine's hand and squeezed tightly. In the grip of their hands was all their fear and doubt and nervous anticipation and the realisation that everything was starting to change. He shuffled quickly sideways as something cold pressed along his back. 'What are you doing?'

'It's just a hug. I'm-' Blaine paused and breathed out quietly, 'I'm cold and I'm tired and a bit lost and you're here.' Blaine's arm tightened around Kurt's waist and he nudged their legs together.

The red glowing light of the clock showed 3am when Kurt woke up. Staring into the quiet dark room he slowly adjusted and stretched sleepily, fumbling tiredly with the sheets as the night air now felt hot and sticky. 'What,' he swallowed with a dry throat and tried again, voice hoarse from sleep, 'what are you doing?' He blinked at the small glowing screen of Blaine's phone.

Propped against the bedhead with his knees raised Blaine's head snapped up guiltily. 'Sh,' he tried for a soothing tone, 'go back to sleep.

Kurt chuckled sleepily and shuffled higher up the bed to lay his head on Blaine's arm and blink down at the phone. 'You looking at porn?' The little blue faebook logo slid into view on the screen and Kurt huffed a quiet sigh down Blaine's arm and tugged the phone out of his hands. 'Stop looking at the comments. It doesn't help.'

Blaine tiredly scrubbed his hands over his face. 'I know. I just couldn't sleep. Most of those comments are wtfs, you know? I kind of want someone to be happy for my fictitious relationship.'

'Well, they won't be,' Kurt said shortly.

'Santana has bitched back at some of them,' Blaine said hesitantly. 'It's spread.' He waited as Kurt remained silent. 'A lot.

Bitchy, snappy and miserable, Kurt may be exactly as charged but he wasn't heartless. There wasn't any tears, just a blank face and the hitched breathing and stuttering twitch of Blaine's shoulders that spoke of enough pain without tears being necessary. Kurt hesitated, he wasn't much good at comforting but, he tried not to think about it, he _ wanted _to. He didn't really know what to do so he had to make do with gently carding his hands through Blaine's hair. He suspected Blaine would take the relationship blow up badly, but for the first time he started to understand exactly how much people's opinions mattered to Blaine. Kurt brushed Blaine's thick hair back again. The phone with the revolting comments lay where it was thrown down the end of the bed. Their relationship had gone viral as a result but that was little comfort when Blaine was curled up on the bed. In the time he'd spent silently watching Blaine his emotions had gone from the confused frustration and anger of earlier that night to bleak acceptance that no amount of fighting was going to be able to shift now. Acting like he cared wasn't all just an act.


	7. Chapter 7

'Blaine Anderson!' Kurt braced his hands on his hips and yelled into the wind. His hair flipped across his face and his loose shirt fluttered in the warm wind. Only the sound of the surf and the rustle of the palms and shrubs met his ears. He narrowed his eyes and started walking slowly through the low trees. 'Blaine!' His bare feet sank into the warm sand and he turned in slow circles, eyes scanning the beach. 'This isn't fair,' the wind snatched away his quieter words. He forced himself to take a deep breath and ran his hands slowly through his hair. So it was Blaine's turn to avoid him. It was okay, it didn't mean anything. After all, he'd been avoiding Blaine before. Kurt let his hands drop to his side and looked around again in defeat. It wasn't like they were in a relationship, they just...worked well together. 'Blaine!' He tried again half-heartedly. So maybe he thought Blaine was...special. Special was a less confronting word than some of the others his mind helpfully supplied.

Sighing in defeat, Kurt turned around and froze. His jaw set. 'I can see your foot!'

Obscured by the leaves of a gnarled, shrubby tree, Blaine slowly pulled his foot up out of sight.

'Oh very mature!' Kurt called out sarcastically. 'Yes, _well done_, Blaine! Hiding up a tree. Hide from Kurt the Monster.' He turned away sharply and bit his lip.

'Don't be ridiculous,' Blaine said tiredly.

'You know what? You're hiding up a tree, I'll be as ridiculous as I damn well like!'

'Kurt-' He started placatingly.

'_Screw you_, Blaine Anderson!' Kurt yelled bitterly up the tree. 'This is _your,_' he kicked the base of the tree, 'mess and I'm stuck in it too and I have no idea what's happening and it's all,' he punctuated his yells with angry slams of his palm on the bark, 'your,' the jolt ran up his arm, '_fucking fault!'_

There was no noise, as though everything had been stunned into silence.

The leaves rustled and Blaine dropped down to the sand with a muted thump. The anger seemed to have been shocked out of him, his hazel eyes wide under messy hair. Kurt was seized by the sudden urge to fix it with a vicious tug.

'Don't,' Kurt's voice was tightly controlled, 'cut me out of anything, Blaine.' He took a sudden step forward and shoved roughly at Blaine's chest. Blaine staggered back. The surf crashed in the silence between them and Blaine stared at him with dark, unreadable eyes, the wind tossing his curls roughly about his forehead. 'I-'

Blaine quickly gripped his forearms and tugged him forward. 'What's your problem? Hm? What now?' He asked with a mocking emphasis. 'Hm, Kurt? You love to lash out, don't you, when you're scared. So what is it this time, what now?'

Somehow one of Blaine's hands had ended up fisted in the fabric at the back of Kurt's neck, Kurt's own hand tangled at the front of Blaine's tight v-neck. Blaine gave a quick angry tug and Kurt retaliated with a hard push of his fist. Their eyes remained locked in silence. Clenching his jaw, Kurt gave another sharp push and watched a muscle twitch down Blaine's jaw before the hand at the back of his neck tightened. A sharp jolt of _something_ sparked through Kurt at that scrape of rough fingers over his skin.

Blaine gave the most satisfying groan when Kurt slammed him back into the tree. Hands grasped urgently at Kurt's back, fisting in his shirt and dragging downwards. Kurt arched his back as Blaine splayed his hand and spread its hot, heavy weight over his side. Blaine yanked roughly at his shirt and shoved his hand underneath, rubbing and digging his fingers into the small of Kurt's back while he used his other hand to drag Kurt even closer. Pinned by Blaine grip on his shirt, Kurt lowered his mouth to Blaine's neck, sucking and biting while Blaine groaned against his ear. Hot breath ghosted over his ear and Kurt panted into the soft, wet skin of Blaine's throat.

'We should-' Blaine stilled his hand on Kurt's chest, 'we should-' Kurt bit sharply at his collarbone and Blaine cried out, 'talk,' he breathed finally.

Kurt ran the tip of his tongue over the indents on his skin. 'Later.' He bit down again and dragged his teeth slowly up the side of Blaine's neck again. The hand on his chest remained still while Kurt trailed his lips back down the line of reddening marks, fingertips barely digging in over his heart. Mouth still busy at the hollow of Blaine's throat, Kurt blindly worked a hand between their bodies and grasped his belt. Blaine gasped. Kurt paused, 'Did you seriously just gasp because I touched your belt?' He waited with his lips still pressed to Blaine's throat, feeling each rapid panting breath. His eyes snapped shut and he groaned as Blaine brushed a thumb over his nipple.

'Was that a _groan_?' Blaine whispered against Kurt's ear.

Fingers wrapped around Blaine's belt, Kurt yanked sharply and pressed his lips to his ear, breathing heavily as he slipped his leg between Blaine's thighs. 'Hm?' He whispered. He drew back to watch Blaine through half lowered eyelashes and deliberately rubbed up again. Blaine bit heavily down on his lip in a struggle to remain silent. 'Hm?' He murmured again. He pulled on his belt.

'C-currently,' Blaine slid his hand down over Kurt's ass and squeezed firmly, 'you're making more noise than me.'

'Screw you,' Kurt sucked a mark under his jaw.

'Please,' Blaine breathed.

'We're going to finish it this time,' Kurt said firmly. 'Undo my belt.'

To his utter surprise, Blaine just palmed down his ass again and rubbed his hand firmly between his thighs. Kurt cried out and pushed back into his hand, cursing the thick fabric of his jeans as Blaine squeezed and scratched his nails where the seam disappeared between his legs. His cock pressed painfully against his buttons and he ground against Blaine's hip, growling and pushing him back into the tree when he tried to move.

'So bossy,' Blaine panted through a quick grin.

'You have no idea.'

'God, I want you naked,' Blaine muttered to the corner of Kurt's mouth, hand tight and fingers pressing through his jeans. 'Imagine my hand on your bare skin. Think where my fingers would be,' he pressed up as hard as he could through Kurt's jeans and Kurt thrust down helplessly, mouth open and panting.

'You-' Kurt swallowed thickly and tried to meet the jerk of Blaine's hips, 'you know what I said about you talking during sex?' He cried out again and Blaine fisted his other hand in his shirt and jerked him forward as their hips snapped together. 'Don't stop.'

'I'm almost-' Blaine choked out and his head dropped back against the tree.

Kurt groaned in frustration and tightened his fists in Blaine's hair. 'That wasn't-,' another messy, desperate thrust, 'really what I-' he couldn't help reaching behind to try and urge Blaine's hand harder, _more,_ '-wanted to hear.'

The weak moan and arch of Blaine's back said he didn't really have much choice in the matter. Kurt pressed Blaine bodily against the tree as he felt him start to slip weakly, he buried his face in his neck and breathed in his scent, feeling the fast thrum of his pulse against his cheek, the hard planes of his chest rising and falling rapidly, the hard line of his hipbone against his cock. He concentrated on the burn in his lower stomach and the pounding of his heart, the press of large male hands still on his ass and back. He stifled a little gasp into Blaine's hot skin and screwed his eyes shut as his body rocked.

'Okay,' he managed to pant and drew back an inch to let Blaine finally slump down.

Kurt's own knees buckled and he slumped down in a heap over Blaine's legs. Chest heaving with loud pants, Blaine propped them up against the tree trunk and sprawled his legs out under Kurt.

'What-' Blaine swallowed thickly and dropped his head to Kurt's shoulder, 'what were we arguing about again?' He ran the pad of his thumb along Kurt's waistband.

Kurt lazily rolled his body forward and sighed against Blaine's temple. 'Everything?' He reached down and scratched his nail lightly over the jut of Blaine's hipbone. 'I don't know,' he mumbled again against Blaine's hairline, 'you frustrate me.'

Blaine ran a lazy hand up Kurt's thigh. 'Really?'

'Mm. Who'd have thought? That was not a very satisfying orgasm, by the way. Next time we're doing this better.' He made to shift away from Blaine and stopped with a curious tilt of his eyebrow when Blaine made a faint noise of protest. 'What?'

'Stay.'

'Why?' Kurt asked bluntly. His pants clung uncomfortably and there was sand caked over his feet and cuffs, all he wanted now was a shower. Bracing his palms in the sand, Blaine tried to push upright further as he floundered. 'Blaine,' Kurt explained patiently, watching the uncertain flicker of Blaine's hazel eyes, 'we had sex, it's over now, and I want a shower. That's all there is.'

To his surprise Blaine scoffed openly and pushed his hair off his forehead, leaving a messy streak across his skin. 'That's not how it is.'

Kurt laughed openly and smiled incredulously at him. 'Blaine, trust me, I've done this enough times to know _that's all there is,'_ he shot him an amused glance and leaned his weight to one knee to swing the other off Blaine.

'And I say you're wrong,' Blaine leaned after him and gripped his waist.

'We have sex because it's convenient,' Kurt mock whispered and rolled his eyes when Blaine refused to let him go.

'Well maybe I want to talk and I want to do it here,' Blaine challenged.

Sand flew up in little clouds around Kurt's knees as he dropped heavily back down. 'Fine. Whatever.'

'Are you telling me you never want to, you know,' heavy arms looped around his hips and Blaine stroked up his back, 'cuddle afterwards?'

'Why would I want to _cuddle_ with some panting, sweating man I barely know?'

'You know me,' Blaine countered.

'Principle stands,' Kurt said shortly and grimaced as he tried to adjust his clinging jeans, 'it's just a convenient arrangement.'

The leaves rustled above them and Blaine toyed absently with Kurt's waistband. 'What about if it was an actual relationship? Would you cuddle then?' The breeze flopped his hair across his forehead and Kurt remained silent and watched the grass sway beside them. 'Ah, I forget, you don't do relationships at all, do you?'

It wasn't that he didn't do them and more that he'd never actually been in one with anyone before. Not that he was going to tell Blaine that. 'So, you going to tell me what happened?' Kurt changed subject firmly.

'Well,' Blaine lifted his hand to smooth a stray strand of hair off Kurt's forehead, 'you pinned me against a tree and I came in my pants. Haven't done that in years.'

'Yes, yes, I do remember that part.' He didn't know what to make of the way Blaine kept tracing slow little circles over his cheek with his thumb. Confused, he tilted his head down and immediately froze when Blaine's thumb slipped across his lower lip.

'It'd been a while,' Blaine said with a faintly apologetic note.

'No, really? Who'd have thought? Come on,' the sand was starting to crunch unpleasantly and his knees were hurting, 'talk, have your cuddle before I shower.'

'Um,' Blaine cleared his throat and Kurt felt his thighs flex under him, 'well,' he sighed and dropped his arms to loosely circle Kurt's hips, 'my father deleted my facebook. He um,' he kept his eyes down, voice quieter, 'set up a new one, in my name, saying I had been the victim of some photoshop prank. Or at least, you know, someone did it for him,' his voice trailed away.

Some unknown emotion welled to the surface. 'I'm sorry I yelled.'

'Another apology,' Blaine's smile and tease didn't reach his eyes, 'you must really be feeling sorry for me.'

'I am,' Kurt said simply.

'I was thinking-'

'We should go back to New York tomorrow, be together in public.'

Blaine just nodded and kept his hand resting over Kurt's cheek. He closed his eyes slowly and leaned his head back against the tree trunk. The breeze lifted and toyed with his curls and Kurt watched in silence for a moment, something tight and protective in his chest.

'So how come you just went all scary intense on me?' Blaine asked quietly, eyes still closed.

'Because,' Kurt gave in to the urge and neatened Blaine's curls, 'I'm-' terrified you'll never want me? I don't know how to handle this? 'I was scared,' he finished.

'For me?' Blaine's eyes fluttered open with a soft, shy expression.

'No, for the other Blaine.'

Blaine chuckled and rubbed his thumb down Kurt's cheek again. 'Thank you,' he tightened his hand minutely and his eyes dropped to Kurt's mouth, head tilting forward slightly. Kurt instinctively leaned back and Blaine blinked, expression quickly turning rueful. 'Sorry, I forgot. Automatic response, sorry. It's nice thinking someone cares.'

Kurt's heart lifted then sank. Automatic response. Okay. 'No problem.'

'Kurt, next time you feel _scary_ you know you can just come and vent at me?'

Kurt smiled and lowered his gaze. 'I thought I just did.'

Blaine chuckled again and started toying with the hem of Kurt's shirt. 'You know what I mean. I know you like to keep it all locked down. So, promise?'

'Maybe,' Kurt looked up through his lashes. 'Come on,' he tapped Blaine's waist, 'I _need_ a shower.'

'Wait,' Blaine caught his wrist as he started to stand, 'come for a swim with me.' Kurt laughed shortly and shook his head. 'Come on,' Blaine flipped his hand over and started pressing little kisses over the inside of his wrist. 'Be exciting and adventurous. Will your clothes be ruined if they get wet?'

Kurt snorted at him. 'Of course not. Like I would bring any that-' he screamed as Blaine scooped him up and staggered down the sand towards the water. He screwed his eyes shut as water started to splash up around Blaine's legs, so close to his face and his heart started to race. They staggered sideways and wet arms wrapped around his chest and Kurt struggled desperately, still yelling he dropped with a splash. Water filled his mouth and stung at his eyes, he kicked and struggled, everything muffled and blurred under the water. With a loud gasping breath and a crash of water he broke to the surface. Water streamed down his face and he could feel his hair plastered to his forehead. He spat out a mouthful of water and turned angrily for Blaine. Already metres away and swimming strongly, Blaine laughed helplessly and tipped his head back into the water as he kept laughing.

A wave broke over his chest and Kurt's eyes stung with sea water and tears. Wrapping his arms around himself, Kurt closed his eyes and shook. The wind whipped at his wet hair and slapped his across his forehead and Kurt shivered harder.

'Kurt?' Blaine's voice was suddenly concerned and close.

'Get me out,' Kurt said tightly.

'Okay,' Blaine sobered up immediately and pressed flush against his back, hands warm and steady on his stomach as he walked him slowly towards the shore.

Kurt snapped and struggled free as the water hit his knees, splashing clumsily up the beach to collapse shaking and crying in the sand. Blaine thumped down beside him and Kurt retched.

'Oh God,' Blaine cupped a sandy hand over his forehead, pushing his hair back and slinging the other around his back, holding him tightly. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' he stroked desperately down Kurt's back as Kurt shook and coughed, 'I'm sorry, I'd never- God- do you need-'

Sinking into the sand, Kurt shook his head and pressed himself into Blaine's side, all cold and sand and wet. He cried into Blaine's twisted and sand gritted t-shirt as Blaine clasped the back of his head and petted his back.

'I'm so sorry,' Blaine whispered again. He curled himself around Kurt on the sand, tangling their legs and crushing their bodies together until finally the panicked burn in Kurt's stomach lessened and the shaking eased. Kurt shifted faintly, sand scratching across his face and all over his body, even gritting as he blinked. Blaine's eyes were wide and scared.

'You had no idea,' Kurt said immediately, voice hoarse. 'If you had tried that with Finn or Puck or anyone else here it would have been hilarious and I'd have laughed.'

'I'm really sorry,' Blaine murmured again.

Kurt touched his cheek briefly, leaving another smear of sand and water. 'I almost drowned in a pool years ago, I'm scared of swimming.'

'Kurt-' Blaine tried to hug him, immediately dropping his arms and backing away when Kurt tensed.

He shivered as he finally registered the wind on his bare skin. 'Back to the cabin.' This time he smiled and shifted forward, tucking his head into Blaine's shoulder when he felt arms go around his back. 'It wasn't your fault.' Not like it had been years ago, when the boys had held him under for fun. 'Seriously, I want my shower now. You have no idea how disgusting things in my jeans are.'

'I think I have some idea,' Blaine petted his back again. 'Are you sure you're okay? I know you're not,' he added immediately, red indents in his lips where he'd bitten them, 'you don't tell me anything but I can tell.'

'Okay,' Kurt struggled backwards, 'you can stop touching me now.'

Frustration burrowed Blaine's brow. 'Kurt-'

'Just stop it,' Kurt said quickly.

'Do you want me to care or do you not want me to care?' Blaine burst out. His curls tossed across his forehead and he turned his face away in frustration and kicked his heel into the sand.

Kurt watched the little cloud of sand settle in silence. 'Care, by all means, just be aware I don't really know what to do with it.'

GGGGG

Kurt looked down at his plate and at the far end of the table Blaine fumbled and dropped his fork again with a clatter. Blaine had remained quiet all afternoon since the incident on the beach despite Kurt's attempts to reassure him he was fine. Fading himself out of the conversation with Rachel and Puck, Kurt pushed his chair out and walked around to Blaine. No one paid him any attention as he squeezed Blaine's shoulders and leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

Blaine tilted his head back guiltily. 'Kurt-'

'Idiot,' Kurt said warmly and Blaine smiled shyly. Kurt almost gave in to the overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss him softly.

'We ready to leave for the airport after?'

Kurt leaned in until his lips touched Blaine's ear. 'Stop worrying about it.' Blaine's eyes fluttered closed and his fingers tightened imperceptibly on the edge of the table. Kurt pulled back with a lingering touch to his shoulder.

'Why are you guys getting such a late flight?' Tina leaned back curiously.

'Someone,' Kurt shoved lightly at Blaine's back, 'had something urgent come up with work. This was the only flight left.' That was the excuse they'd come up with for their needing to leave so suddenly. Blaine nodded his agreement and shrugged apologetically. 'We're sorry we're abandoning you.'

Puck just grinned. 'Your loss. The guys here are taking us out diving tomorrow.'

When Blaine fell asleep on Kurt's shoulder in the taxi to the airport Kurt just sighed and propped him up securely. Yawning sleepily as the plane taxied, Blaine wordlessly patted his shoulder and returned the favour. Kurt breathed in deeply Blaine's now familiar scent and crept his fingers tentatively across the armrest to lay over Blaine's. Hope sparked in his chest when Blaine immediately squeezed their hands together. They landed at 4.37am in New York and Kurt guiltily kissed Blaine's cheek before the other man woke up.

There wasn't any question that Kurt would be coming back to Blaine's apartment. Kurt could feel the tension start to return in the clench of Blaine's hands and arms as the taxi drove through the still dark city. Forehead slumped against the window, Blaine looked out with a flat expression. 'Do you think this will work? Have I just been kidding myself?' He sighed and ground his forehead against the glass. 'It all seemed so much easier down at that resort, like one giant prank,' he admitted quietly.

'It'll be fine,' Kurt promised. How he'd gone from snorting in drunk laughter at the idea to running his hand soothing down Blaine's arm he didn't like to think. He'd given in to everything he promised himself he never would. Blaine looked fondly at him in the brief light of a streetlamp and secretly Kurt knew he'd do anything to always have Blaine look at him like that. No one had ever looked at him like that before. Like he, Kurt Hummel, was somehow special.

Footsteps loud and echoing, the two of them staggered up into Blaine's apartment. The bags dropped to the ground with a clatter and Kurt could only bring himself to give a sleepy mutter at the mistreatment of his suitcase. Blaine slung an arm around his waist and still in shoes and clothes they collapsed side by side on the bed.

'I'm sorry about today,' Blaine murmured.

'It's fine,' Kurt's eyes started to slide closed.

'I've made such a mess of things.'

Kurt lifted his head as Blaine's voice started to crack. 'Blaine?'

Hiding his face behind his hands, Blaine released a shuddering breath. 'Everything. And we've had sex, that was never meant to happen. And the beach today and I don't know what to do next. I'm so sorry.'

'Hey,' Kurt wriggled up on his stomach and propped his chin on Blaine's chest, stroking his fingers over Blaine's hands covering his face, 'hey. Look at me.' He smiled encouraging as Blaine lowered his hands, face shadowed in the dark bedroom. 'It's almost done. You got what you wanted. The sex just happened because that's how sex tends to happen. It was just fun, okay?'

'How come you're being nice to me?' Kurt was relieved to hear a hint of a smile in Blaine's voice and laughed quietly in the dark.

'Enjoy it while it lasts,' he advised and laid back down beside Blaine. 'Business as usual in the morning.'

GGGGGG

Still sleepy and yawning, Kurt kneeled slowly in front of his suitcase and fumbled tiredly for a change of clothes. Straightening with them in hand, he started a shuffle towards the shower. The phone rang and he heard Blaine's footsteps and voice in the kitchen. He was just starting to close the bathroom door when Blaine hurried around the corner and grasped him by the shoulders. Kurt blinked and opened his mouth to protest but desperate hazel eyes stopped him. 'I know you don't like being told what to do but please, _please_ can you just pretend to be asleep?'

'Why?' Kurt asked immediately, snapping out of his tiredness. 'What's happening? What's wrong?'

'My father, he's _here_, in the lobby, _here_,' Blaine broke off to take a deep breath and drag his hands down his face. '_God!'_

Kurt took one look at his face, dropped his fresh clothes on the floor and started moving. He didn't make a sound as Blaine grabbed his arm and tugged him along hurriedly.

'Clothes off.'

'Why?' Kurt was already hopping frantically, bracing one hand along the wall as he tugged his shoes off.

Blaine span distractedly and fisted his hands in his hair. 'I don't-I-'

'It's okay, it's okay,' Kurt tried to talk soothingly over him while ripping his sweater off over his head. Wearing just his boxers he flung back the duvet and tugged the duvet messily over himself. Blaine cast him one quick grateful glance and made to stretch out his hand towards Kurt when the doorbell went. Blaine's face blanched and he hurried out, shutting the bedroom door behind him. Kurt remained stockstill for a moment, fingers curled around the edge of the duvet as he strained his ear for the murmur of voices through the door. Measured footsteps sounded past the door and Kurt quickly closed his eyes and feigned sleep but mercifully the bedroom door remained shut. The sound of talking dropped to a muted murmur and Kurt slowly lifted his head from the pillow to try and listen, however all he could hear was that low murmur. Sighing, Kurt rubbed over his face and sank back down into the soft sheets and pillow. He turned his face sideways into the pillow and inhaled tentatively. Blaine. His lips quirked into an unconscious smile. His smile faded as he caught a word through the wall, his name. The voices were louder now but still indistinct. Biting his lip, Kurt rolled over and pressed his face fully into the pillow.

Kurt didn't know how long he waited, curled up in the warmth of Blaine's bed with the light of the midday sun glowing from behind the curtain. Finally, with angry shouts that Kurt no longer wanted to hear and the slam of a door, it was over. Kurt immediately flung back the duvet and padded on barefeet across the room. The apartment was overly silent and bright in the warm sunlight as Kurt silently walked down into the loungeroom. Blaine stood unmoving by the large window, his back to Kurt. Kurt cleared his throat and he didn't move. Kurt wordlessly laid his hand on Blaine's shoulder and waited, when he still didn't move Kurt looped his arms around his waist and nestled his cheek against the back of his neck.

'He hates you,' Blaine said finally. 'He hates you and he hasn't even met you. I don't understand.'

'Just wait until he does meet me,' Kurt quipped softly. He relaxed his hold to let Blaine turn around in his arms. He closed his eyes briefly as Blaine tucked his head under his chin and draped his arms around his hips. So maybe he really really cared about this man. He leaned his cheek on top of his curls.

They both jumped instinctively as the door slammed open and Blaine gripped Kurt impossibly tight.

'My walle-' A short grey-haired man stopped with his hand outstretched for the wallet laying on the bench.

Frozen with Blaine clutched in his arms all his brain could come up with was _damn_ the Andersons were short.

'So.' The man lighted his chin and drew himself up. 'You're the one.'

'I-'

'You're doing this to my son,' he continued over Kurt.

'Pleas-' Blaine tried to speak.

'Shame on you, Blaine,' his father said with a sudden twist of bitterness. '_Shame_ on you.' He swiped his wallet off the bench and flicked one last disgusted glance at the two of them. 'He even looks like a girl.'

They both flinched with the slam of the door.

'Kurt, Kurt,' Blaine mumbled and drew back slowly, 'Kurt, I- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I-' shaking hands gently touched Kurt's cheeks.

'Sh,' Kurt said quietly. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders and drew him in tightly. 'I'm fine.'

Blaine slumped and sighed. 'Kurt, meet my father Max, Dad, meet Kurt.' He broke into a wry, almost painful sounding chuckle. Unable to help himself, Kurt joined him. 'I think that went well.'

'I'd like to make it clear, I _sound_ like a girl, I don't look like one.'

Blaine just ran his hand slowly over Kurt's bare chest before drawing back and rolling his shoulders tiredly. 'Go out with me tomorrow night?'

Kurt wondered if Blaine had any idea just how much he cared for him. 'Of course.'


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine dug his hands in his pockets and dipped his chin into his scarf, worrying at his lower lip as he waited alone on the sidewalk. Of course Kurt would come, but- Blaine scanned the street again and looked down with another bite of his lip. Away from the isolation of the resort it seemed so much more real, more serious, soon there wasn't going to be any real reason for Kurt to keep seeing him and he was going to lose a-

'I hope your sister likes me,' Kurt fretted and bumped their shoulders together. 'Here,' he immediately shrugged out of his coat and thrust it into Blaine's arms, 'hold this.' Craning his neck, Kurt glanced over his shoulder and smoothed down his shirt and waistcoat. 'Do I look okay? I look good, don't I?'

'I- well-' Blaine fumbled. Standing in the golden glow of a restaurant front, the light playing fluidly over lean curves and lines, Blaine privately thought Kurt looked quite stunning. He blinked rapidly as Kurt lifted his chin in the little bitch tilt he recognised all too well. 'I would,' he swallowed and ran his eyes over Kurt again, 'I would be proud to show you off as my date,' he said honestly.

'You clean up quite nicely yourself,' there was only warmth in Kurt's voice where he expected a grudging concession. 'Ah-' Kurt laid a finger over Blaine's lips as he tried to speak, 'what's the plan for tonight?' There was still a faint pink tinge to his cheeks that Blaine didn't quite know how to interpret.

Blaine traced his finger surreptitiously down the matte black fabric of Kurt's top. 'We should just look happy together. Like a couple,' he finished. 'You know, happy couple.' He could feel the warmth of Kurt's body through the thin fabric and the shift of his back as he walked.

'Focus, focus, Blaine,' Kurt tried to fish his hand out from under his top.

Splaying his hand at the small of his back, Blaine hurried forward a few steps to walk in time beside Kurt. 'Is it a waistcoat?'

'No,' the corner of Kurt's mouth curved up in a tiny smile. His smile caught slightly as they stepped sideways to avoid a happily chatting group of people. 'So I just have to pretend I'm on a date with you tonight? We'll,' he glanced down, 'hold hands and things like that?'

Some of the easy companionship faded from between them and Blaine gave up toying with the hem of Kurt's top. 'Thanks again for doing this,' he knew he sounded slightly stilted and watched as the warmth drained from Kurt's face.

'Yeah, well, it's not like I'd have been doing anything exciting with my life tonight anyway,' Kurt's breath frosted in the still night air, a tiny fading cloud above his lips. 'Watching late night re-runs probably,' his laugh fell flat and he shivered faintly, slipping his hands into his pockets. Another group of people spilling from the entrance of a restaurant gave Blaine the chance to crowd closer against Kurt's side. Kurt didn't say anything, just glanced at his face and looked away with an unreadable expression.

'Is it okay if I kiss your cheek a few times?' Blaine asked awkwardly.

Kurt shrugged. 'Sure. Whatever. Just not my mouth.'

'I'm sorry,' Blaine murmured, not quite sure what to say.

'Don't be,' Kurt sounded almost bored now. 'We have a deal, remember?'

'Blaine?'

His sigh died away at Cecilia's voice over his shoulder. Blaine turned and she lifted her hand in a small wave, both of them lingering awkwardly before he moved forward and caught her in a quick hug. 'Cec,' he drew back. 'Kurt, this is my sister Cecilia. Cecilia, Kurt,' Blaine gestured between them. With a small, relaxed smile Kurt clasped their hands together. The conversation started easily and Blaine hung back to let them talk, watching the easy swing of Kurt's hips as he walked. Hidden from Cec's view, Kurt's hand clenched and unclenched nervously, with a tiny smile Blaine reached out sideways and trailed his knuckles along Kurt's soothingly before remembering there was no one to see that gesture and therefore no real point. Sometimes it was all too easy to let himself forget the real reason why Kurt was helping him, the promise of designing his sister's dress. He hoped occasionally that Kurt might still want to see him afterwards but then he remembered that, looking at things objectively, Kurt didn't really seem to like him all that much. Just the sex really, sometimes it seemed like there but might be more but he'd been fooled once before.

When they arrived at the restaurant Kurt excused himself and slipped into the bathroom. Blaine watched him with an unconscious smile, he had no doubt within seconds Kurt would be three inches from the mirror with a comb and a panicked expression. Blinking, he looked away into his sister's guarded eyes.

'Thank you for doing this,' he said honestly.

Cec forced a quick smile and toyed with the edge of the menu. 'You two aren't together, but you are actually,' she inclined her head, 'gay?'

Blaine's heart sank. 'Cec-'

'Blaine, I just have to say it,' she stretched out her hand as though to touch Blaine's, they both froze and she awkwardly clenched her hand into a fist and let it drop to the table. They'd never been very good at affection. 'Blaine,' Cec started again, 'I know you want to split from father and the business, I understand,' she said earnestly and gazed with soft green eyes at him, 'but-'

'"but",' Blaine echoed softly, tired hurt and bitterness in his voice.

'-but you shouldn't just toy with something like this for your own gain. Kurt seems like lovely guy, Blaine, and he _is_ gay. No matter what you get out of this it's not going to be worth the lying-'

Blaine's brow furrowed and he lifted his fingers from the table, gesturing a halt. 'Wait, is that what this is about? Me leading Kurt on?' He gave a quick burst of laughter, glanced at her expression and laughed helplessly again. 'Oh, Cec, no. Not Kurt.' He couldn't help a smile just at the thought. He pressed his knuckles over his mouth and chuckled softly again. 'You haven't seen half of Kurt. And for the record, I am gay. One hundred percent gay.' His smile faded slightly and he tilted his chin in his palm. 'You really thought I'd do something like that?' The quick downward flick of her eyes said everything and Blaine swallowed. 'Oh. Right.'

'I-' again the awkward stretch of hands.

'I wore the suit because I had to,' Blaine spoke with growing frustration, 'and going to work each day kept the family off my throat. I didn't have legions of adoring fans to support my decision like you did. I had no one,' he added curtly.

Someone laughed at the table nearby and Cec fidgeted with her bracelet.

'Why did you even agree to help me then?' Blaine demanded suddenly.

Embarrassment coloured a light flush up her neck and Cec shifted minutely. 'I thought,' she twisted her bracelet further up her arm, 'I thought,' she repeated and finally lifted her eyes to his, 'it might give us something in common again.'

'Sorry,' Kurt apologised and slipped into his seat with a breathless kind of smile. Blaine and Cec immediately looked away and leaned back in their seats.

Blaine caught Kurt's little questioning glance and smiled, shaking his head as Kurt kicked his foot under the table. It was a concerned sort of kick. From Kurt it was probably the equivalent of an arm around the shoulder and a heart to heart. He gave a little kick back and Kurt looked vaguely satisfied. It was with an unexpected and warm feeling that he realised Kurt might care a bit more than he let on.

GGGGG

Kurt couldn't keep his eyes off the tiny twitches of Blaine's fingers on his thigh. In the dark of the theatre the deep shadows softened the edges of his hands and Kurt found himself aching to reach out and thread their fingers together. Internally he rolled his eyes at himself and pressed his hands between his knees. Twelve year old girl on a first date. He quietly wriggled back further in his seat and dug the heels of his shoes into the floor.

Cecilia and Blaine whispered inaudibly together and Kurt fidgeted again with a sudden, irrational wave of jealousy. _Jealous_. Kurt suddenly drew in a deep breath and swallowed thickly.

'Hey,' Blaine rustled in the seat next to him, his breath warm against his ear as he whispered, 'you alright? What's wrong?'

He wanted to reply with something quick and light but his mouth just opened silently with a strange little choke. He swallowed. 'Nothing.' He rubbed two fingers distractedly along the side of his jaw. He had to stop reading so much into things, it was all just a game, that was all. Nothing more.

When the lights finally came on and the applause died away, Kurt lightly placed his hand on the small of Blaine's back and walked beside him through the crush of people. Cecilia smiled and murmured her goodbyes, politely ignoring the whispers and glances from the people around her. A few phones were surreptitiously pulled out and Kurt made sure to tuck in closer to Blaine's side. He reigned in on his urge to gush over Cecilia's dress and to smile too widely when she lightly kissed his cheek. The peck on the cheek she shared with Blaine was slightly stilted and they couldn't quite make eye-contact.

'Is she alright on her own?' Kurt watched her disappear through the crowd.

Blaine scoffed faintly. 'Trust me, she secretly loves the attention. Come on,' he wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist and Kurt took full advantage of the crowds to press in close to him.

'Is it true you're a teacher now?' Someone pushed through a gap in front of the pair, a small microphone clutched in their hand. Kurt glanced up at the doors as Blaine stammered briefly beside him and watched as Cecilia flashed him a quick wink and a silent, easy laugh. '-from your family?' The man was asking eagerly when Kurt focused back on the conversation. Blaine's hand was hot and tight gripping his hip. They were starting to draw even more looks from people around them.

'My family takes a more conservative view,' Blaine responded and Kurt obviously rubbed his hand down his side in a show of sympathy. 'There is unfortunately no room in that view for my relationship with Kurt,' he kissed his cheek and Kurt obligingly closed his eyes with a smile. He heard the click of phone cameras around them.

'Your father has refused to comment on-' the man started to raise his voice as Blaine politely raised his hand and started to move through the crowded foyer. Kurt tucked his head in against Blaine's and flashed quick smiles at the staring faces. Half the people wouldn't have any idea who they were, just drawn to the crowds out of curiosity but he was willing to bet they'd know more soon as stories were printed and posted online.

'That went well,' Blaine murmured against his ear and Kurt felt the slip of his smile down his jaw and the quick press of a kiss just to the corner of his mouth. His brief excited grin had Kurt leaning into his side, heart pounding and buzzing as people moved and stared around them. 'It's _working!'_ He jostled Kurt's side with another grin.

'What do we keep doing?' Kurt forced himself to ask the question he'd silently been wondering over for some time. Well, ever since he started to dread losing Blaine. 'I mean, this is what you wanted now, you won't need me for much longer, will you? Just a few more weeks?' He hitched his coat tighter in the crisp night air.

Blaine was silent for a moment and Kurt kept his breathing steady. 'People will lose interest soon enough. Then we can just be,' Kurt watched him chew his cheek lightly, 'normal?' He got the sense Blaine didn't really know what the normal was that he was proposing but his heart still flopped over in pathetic happiness. He wasn't being got rid of, that counted for enough at the moment. 'You didn't enjoy tonight, did you?'

'What?' Kurt stopped in genuine surprise. 'Of course I did,' he flushed, maybe he wasn't supposed to.

'Oh,' for the first time since the beginning of the night Blaine's voice lightened. 'Okay, good. I wanted you to,' he added.

The silence wasn't awkward between them as they walked slowly down the sidewalk, Kurt rolled his shoulders and slipped his hands in his coat, it wasn't quite comfortable though. Kurt didn't know what to say and silently grappled with the realisation that now that he found himself actually _wanting_ Blaine's good opinion he had no idea what to do. Clearly his usual tactic of picking a fight with Blaine wasn't going to cut it. Kurt rolled his shoulders again and breathed a slow sigh through his nose. Their footsteps fell together as they wandered under the glow of shop lights and street lamps. Blaine had left his arm casually around Kurt's shoulders and Kurt wondered if a small lean sideways would be appropriate. 'So tell me more about yourself,' Kurt said suddenly. He felt Blaine's arm tense and quickly turned a smile on him. He shrugged, 'Just curious.'

'What would you like to know?' Blaine asked mildly.

'Anything,' Kurt's hip brushed Blaine's as they walked.

The faint night breeze rustled through the leaves above them and Blaine's footsteps scraped on the sidewalk for a moment. Kurt wished he had the grace, charm, _something_ to turn this into a real date, wished he had the ability to know what to say and to make Blaine realise how _good_ they could be together.

'I think you know all my deep dark secrets,' Blaine replied finally. 'How about you?' He offered back politely. 'Where'd you go to school?'

Kurt just smiled slightly and shook his head. 'No, let's not talk about that tonight. It's not the best topic for a d-' he stopped himself and fell silent.

'Date?' Blaine finished.

Kurt just shrugged.

'Fuck,' Blaine muttered quietly and stopped abruptly. 'Look, this is awkward.'

'I'm terrible at dates,' Kurt burst out. 'I have no idea what to do, I can't be polite with you, it doesn't work.'

With a groan and a chuckle, Blaine pressed close into his side, looping his arms around his waist and bumping his chin on Kurt's shoulder. 'I haven't been on a date in so long,' he confessed. 'I'm lost. Do you think I kissed your cheek enough?'

'I was blown away by your charm,' Kurt slipped an arm around his back and matched their steps. He grinned as Blaine sniggered into his shoulder, rubbing his side and sighing with another faint chuckle. 'What? What's wrong with that?'

'Let's just go back to my place,' Blaine tilted his head up, the streetlamp catching his dark eyes and making them sparkle. His grin was wide and perfect in the half light, half shadow. 'Just Kurt and Blaine.'

'Kurt and Blaine,' Kurt finally relaxed. Finally it was easy to walk beside Blaine, occasionally bumping his hip and sending him almost into a tree before tugging him back, letting Blaine nip the side of his jaw lightly in reproach. It wasn't for anyone's benefit but their own, he fumbled blindly and caught Blaine's hand, letting the sway of their hands move and brush his fingers over soft fabric, the bump of a seam, curve down to his thigh. Maybe, maybe, _maybe._Blaine's hand squeezed tight and Kurt scratched a single finger back up along the side seam. Blaine tugged sharply on Kurt's hand with a smirk and he stumbled flush against Blaine's chest and laughed as they swayed together.

'That is your flat up there, isn't it?' Kurt cupped his hands around Blaine's neck and arched back to look up into the glowing lights of the lobby. 'I guess I'm coming up?' He closed his eyes and hummed another soft laugh as Blaine mouthed over his neck. 'Blaine?' Kurt threaded his fingers through Blaine's hair while he kissed under his ear.

'Mm?' Blaine asked softly and drew back with one final little kiss.

'Do you actually like me?'

Blaine stared at him in open uncertainty. 'Obnoxious though you can be, yes, I enjoy your company,' he immediately shushed him and placed a finger over Kurt's mouth. 'Please don't cut me down for that,' he asked honestly, eyes sad and earnest.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Kurt finally reached up and lifted Blaine's finger from his lips. 'You just called me obnoxious, you can't deny me the chance to snap back at that.'

'That's,' Blaine wet his lips, 'your only objection?' Kurt just grinned, a full, proper grin. 'Alright, that's it,' Blaine seized his arm and tugged him backwards through the lobby door. Kurt's laughter broke the silence of the lobby as they stumbled sideways into the lift, laughing and pressing hands and bodies together. 'You,' Blaine pinned him up against the mirrored wall, hands pressing on his hips, 'are _very_,' he rubbed his thumbs over the sharp lines of his hipbones, 'confusing.' The lift door dinged shut behind them. 'Why aren't you laughing at me?'

'You asked me not to,' Kurt tried to arch around the metal railing into Blaine.

'And you like me enough to listen?'

Kurt silently begged, _hoped_ that, God, if only he could be that lucky, Blaine would guess his way to how Kurt really felt. Then he wouldn't have to confess. Confess it out loud where he might be rejected. 'You said Kurt and Blaine, remember?' He slipped his hand around Blaine's neck, maybe a bit too rough, almost begging him to understand. 'I wouldn't,' he struggled, 'I wouldn't be here if it was just _sex_,' he pressed his fingertips in unconsciously. 'Not like this. We'd have got a taxi to mine, fucked and then you'd have gone.'

'So you do like me too?'

Kurt almost wanted to growl at him because that was _not _the complete understanding he wanted. It was closer though. 'There are feelings, yes.' He could work with that.

'What do you think would have happened if we hadn't almost hit cars that night?' Blaine slid one warm hand around his neck to hold him steady, eyes half laughing half serious.

Kurt immediately froze. 'I-' he pressed his back against the glass and away from Blaine. 'I don't know. What do you think?' He forced himself to arch an eyebrow. In the small space of the lift, the lights bright and their reflections inescapable, Kurt felt his throat dry. He had to get this _right_.

Blaine's eyes were guarded and serious inches from his. 'I don't know. I like to think we'd have got to a second date.'

'Really?' Kurt swallowed and turned his face away for a moment, the mirror cool on his cheek. 'I think we'd have got drunk and fucked after that night and nothing more,' his breath fogged on the glass. The lift had long since stopped moving on Blaine's floor, the doors rolling shut silently to leave them together in the small mirrored space.

'Ah well,' Blaine stepped back and forcibly lightened his voice, 'I'm sure the sex would have been great.'

'Probably.'

Blaine pressed the door button and stepped back. 'Do you still want to come in?'

Kurt pushed off the mirror and took a deep breath. 'We've been on a date. I believe this is the part where you smoothly invited me up for coffee and where coffee was a mutually understood reference to sex. We'll be doing this again.' It was as much a question as Kurt could dare himself to make it, he relaxed when Blaine grinned his understanding.

'I'll take that as a yes.' Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine laughed before finally stepping out of the doors. ' So are you coming in then? Coffee?'

'But of course,' Kurt flashed him a smirk.

Striding through the door, Kurt dropped his scarf over the back of a chair and halfway through pouring himself a glass of water before he froze. He was supposed to be doing this properly now. Dates don't just stride in and take over the house. He pressed the rim of the glass to his lip and turned around slowly. Unexpected warmth pooled in his stomach as he saw Blaine leaning comfortably against the kitchen door and watching Kurt in fond amusement. Kurt tipped his glass slightly, 'Do you want a drink?' He asked tentatively. Blaine burst into laughter and Kurt couldn't help grinning. He hid his grin behind the rim of the glass and Blaine stepped forward to slide a warm hand up his back.

'Don't ever change, idiot,' Blaine said fondly. His chest pressed lightly along Kurt's side as he stretched up beside him to pull down another glass. Kurt didn't know whether to fire back a light response or feel flattered. He bent his head forward and took a small sip of water with a tiny little smile. He slipped out from between Blaine and the sink, stealing a surreptitious grope on his way past. Blaine choked and spat out his drink and Kurt chuckled.

'Very funny,' Blaine lobbed a pillow at him as Kurt sank down onto the couch. Kurt ducked and automatically patted over his hair while Blaine snorted at him. Kurt flipped him the finger and Blaine laughed. 'Anyway, there we are,' Blaine flipped his phone down his wrist and Kurt caught it with a questioning arch of his eyebrow. 'Cec's twitter like she said she'd do.'

Kurt crossed his legs on the couch and pressed the link. There they were, the three of them, Cecilia elegant even in the middle of laughing with Blaine at her side, his lips pressed to Kurt's cheek and his hand curved possessively on his hip.

'She has over a million followers,' Blaine shrugged. Kurt nodded and wordlessly handed the phone back. 'My parents will be thrilled,' he added softly and raised his eyebrows almost to himself.

'Well I'm thrilled anyway,' Kurt declared firmly, surprisingly himself with how true that actually was.

'Really?' One of Blaine's curls flopped down over his eye.

'Yes.' Kurt reached across and gave it a little tug. Somehow his hand ended up twisting in the collar of Blaine's shirt.

Blaine looked down at his hand then up again with a smile slowly forming. 'I would miss you, if you just left in a few weeks. Can I say that?'

'You can say anything you like,' Kurt dared.

'Can I say,' he flicked the back of his finger over Kurt's knee, 'that I,' he continued slowly, still playing that finger in light patterns up Kurt's leg, 'might like you, even without any _coffee _at all?'

Leaning back comfortably, Kurt hitched his leg over Blaine's thighs and dropped his chin. 'Mm,' he closed his eyes lazily, 'your hand says it's coffee you want.' He smiled and parted his lips in a contented sigh as Blaine stroked slowly over his thigh. Strong fingers drew lines up and down and a thumb traced the crease between thigh and groin. Blaine scratched lightly, nail rasping over denim and Kurt lolled his head further forward. He pressed down in a harder stroke and Kurt released a slow, shuddering breath and his chin dipped to his chest. Blaine's hand suddenly cupped hot and heavy between his thighs and squeezed and Kurt groaned loudly.

'You look so hot like this,' Blaine cradled his back with his other hand as he lowered him down onto the cushions. Kurt looped his legs around Blaine's hips and arched up into the firm press of his hand. 'Can't be in charge all the time,' Blaine's voice was low and warm as he laid over him.

'Mm?' Kurt grinned lazily and reached down between their bodies to press his hand over Blaine's, holding it in place as he rubbed his cock against the heel of his palm. Wriggling down under Blaine's pressing weight he locked his legs around his waist, shifting until Blaine's hardening cock was pressing exactly where he wanted it. Relaxing into the cushions under his back, he slowly started rolling his hips up. '_Oh-' _he screwed his eyes shut and arched his head back, moaning exaggeratedly, '_Blaine!'_ Deliberately panting, he kept up the slow rhythmic roll of his hips.

'Fuck,' Blaine's voice suddenly sounded wrecked. He kept impossibly still above Kurt.

'There! Oh _there!_' Kurt dropped one hand behind his head and twisted his fingers in the cushion while heaving his chest up and down. 'Don't stop, oh that feels _so good_.' He hitched his legs up higher and dug his heels into the back of the small of Blaine's back, urging him down. His loud moan was only half faked this time as he ground his ass against Blaine's cock. He could feel Blaine shaking with the effort to remain still. 'Oh OH!' Kurt raised his voice and ground slowly up again, the tiniest twitch of Blaine's hips said he was starting to win. Keeping his eyes shut, Kurt slowly slid his hand down his own chest, deliberately catching over his nipples and panting. He dropped his legs from around Blaine's waist and spread them wide under him, no longer pressed into the couch. Sliding his hand further down, Kurt pulled open his zipper and heard a strangled groan from Blaine. His cock jerked and ached and he desperately wanted to arch back up and thrust into Blaine. Blaine groaned properly this time but still didn't move, not even when Kurt reached down and tugged down his own zipper, fingers tracing lightly over his cock. Kurt lifted his legs back up and locking them once again around Blaine's waist.

'Kurt.'

'_OH oh,'_ Kurt slowly rocked his ass up over Blaine's covered cock, throwing his head back at the feeling of it pressed against him without the extra layer of Blaine's dress pants. '_Yes, ahh-' _he sighed and rocked his hips. 'I –_God!'_ He groaned properly as Blaine finally snapped and slammed down. 'Finally,' Kurt panted and opened his eyes, snapping his hips up desperately. He couldn't help laughing breathlessly at the look on Blaine's face. 'Sorry,' he choked, cutting off into a groan as Blaine ground down again.

'I hate you,' Blaine panted.

Kurt burst into another helpless sniggering laugh and Blaine growled against his neck, biting reprovingly. 'Do you have_ any idea,' _ Blaine mouthed against his ear, biting and licking and slipping his hand, hot and sweat slick, down Kurt's chest, 'how you looked?'

'Why are your pants still on?' Kurt bit his jaw and grinned widely. His mouth fell open slackly and his eyes slid closed as Blaine closed his hand around his cock and fisted him roughly. 'I'd rather fuck,' he whispered breathlessly.

'_Shit,' _Blaine hurriedly slid off him and Kurt let his legs drop open wide. Blaine froze and stared.

'What?' Kurt shrugged. He bit on his lip to hold back on a grin.

'You,' Blaine blurted, 'hot.'

'Condoms. Lube.' Kurt threw at cushion at him. He pressed his hand over his mouth and laughed openly through his fingers, eyes screwed shut and grin wide as Blaine clambered back over him and tackled him off the couch. Hands groping and Blaine's mouth hot against the back of his neck, Kurt allowed himself to be half dragged, half pushed towards the bedroom, still laughing and gasping.

'Fuck,' Blaine withdrew his hand from the front of Kurt's pants at the foot of his bed.

'Mm,' Kurt shivered pleasurably, 'that's the idea.'

'Condoms,' Blaine's voice caught slightly and Kurt cracked his eyes open and looked into Blaine's guilty face. 'I don't think I have any...' his voice trailed off. 'You don't have to go though!' Blaine added desperately, 'I mean, we can-'

'Blaine,' Kurt squashed the flicker of hurt, of course Blaine though he was here for the sex, that was what they'd been saying all night. 'I'm not going anywhere. Tell me honestly,' he steeled himself, as much dignity as he could muster with his pants undone, 'is this a feelings moment or just a "you want to get off and would rather me than your hand"?'

Warm fingers brushed his side, tracing a faint line of freckles. 'Both. Is that okay?'

'I'm adjusting to feelings,' Kurt tried for another awkward confession, more honest than Blaine would realise. It was true though, feelings had never come into it with anyone else.

'So-'

'So,' Kurt narrowed his eyes and took a small step forward, 'improvisation. Do you have lube? Say yes, please say yes.'

Blaine's expression was suddenly caged. 'I'll get it.'

'Wait,' Kurt grinned, 'don't tell me you've used it all yourself. How much?' Kurt tried to dart forward and Blaine rolled quickly over the bed. He gripped the back of Blaine's slipping pants and tugged him facedown onto the mattress, locking an arm around his waist as they rolled and squirmed together. '_How much have you used?'_ He demanded again, laughing and biting Blaine's neck as Blaine blushed furiously.

'Shut up,' Blaine muttered, grinning and laughing despite himself and the flush down his neck. He heaved Kurt sideways and hurriedly slapped his hands away, straddling his chest and lunging for the bedside cabinet. Kurt wriggled and bucked underneath him, craning his head back and protesting as Blaine splayed his hand over his face and covered his eyes. Laughter burst helplessly from him as they wrestled together, Blaine's legs locked around his chest and back as they pitched sideways and thumped onto the pillows, scattering them under flailing hands and feet as both struggled towards the cabinet. A knee caught Kurt in the side and he desperately grabbed the sides of Blaine's pants, tugging both himself up and Blaine's pants and briefs down.

'Hey!' Blaine protested, his head snapping down as Kurt simultaneously hummed and stilled momentarily in appreciation. Kurt ran his eyes over Blaine's body kneeling on all fours above him, the quivering of his bare stomach where his shirt had been yanked open down the trail of black hair to his cock. Lifting his hand, Kurt wrapped his fingers around him and squeezed, biting his lip against a wide grin as Blaine's eyes slammed shut and his legs gave out.

'Three quarters empty!' Kurt called out triumphantly, snaking his hand over his head and pulling it back with the bottle in hand.

'Fuck,' Blaine panted and collapsed over him in defeat.

'Don't worry,' Kurt kissed his ear quickly and rolled over under him, pressing the bottle into Blaine's limp hand. 'I'll let you make up for your total loss of dignity,' he pressed his grin down into the mattress as Blaine scoffed.

GGGG

Kurt woke hours later to a faint yet unmistakeable sound and grinned sleepily, unable to help a muffled laugh. Blaine's bare feet padded back across the floor and Kurt kept grinning.

'Sh,' Blaine said guilty and the duvet rustled as he slipped back into bed.

Kurt immediately wriggled closer, slotting their legs together and leaning in until he could feel Blaine's breath on his own lips. 'Why?'

'It's never something they really show in the movies,' Blaine whispered, 'having to listen to your one night stand pee.'

Kurt giggled and closed his eyes in the dark as he felt Blaine's answering chuckle and the vibration of his chest pressed close. 'Don't worry, I've seen both your sexy and unsexy sides before.'

'All my sides are sexy,' Blaine breathed reprovingly and tickled his fingers down Kurt's bare side, making him squirm and muffle laughter into the pillow.

'You are a very sexy man,' Kurt agreed and cupped the side of his face, rubbing his palm over stubble. He rolled slowly onto his back, biting his lip and pulling Blaine over on top of him, small squeaks of the mattress and rustles of bedding under their breathing.

'So are you.'

'You think so?'

'Because I like you,' Blaine murmured, low and warm against his throat, 'that's what you want to hear.' His wrists brushed Kurt's sides as he braced himself over him, kissing slowly over his neck and throat, just little dry brushes. 'You're sexy to me because I like all of you.'

Looking up at the bluish shadows on Blaine's ceiling, Kurt locked his arms around Blaine's bare back and blinked. 'Go on,' he whispered. He felt Blaine swallow, the shift of his throat where they were lying pressed entirely together.

'I think you were bullied, really badly,' curly hair, soft and gentle, tickled over his bare chest as Blaine laid his head down. 'I think maybe people said or did things to you that made you think sex was all you could offer to someone.' His voice was soft and steady in the darkness. Kurt swallowed silently and kept his arms still around Blaine's back. He slowly hitched one hand up to curve the solid dip of his shoulder, a comforting warmth and weight under his palm. 'Do you want me to stop talking?' Blaine asked after a moment of silence.

'Since when's that ever stopped you?' Kurt murmured.

'I just wanted to say that I'd be happy to spend time with you without the sex too,' stubble prickled against his chest as Blaine shifted. 'Not that I want to take sex off the table because it's fantastic.'

Kurt giggled softly again. 'Mm, it is.'

'Yep,' Blaine grinned and his breath puffed over Kurt's cheek as they traded smiling secret kisses in the dark, half hidden between chuckles and little moans. The bed creaked and Kurt dipped sideways as Blaine shifted his weight onto one elbow, running his other hand over Kurt's chest. 'I mean it, though.' His face was a hidden patch of black in the dark grey of the bedroom.

'You're so earnest,' Kurt propped himself up on his elbows, eyes closed as he pressed his nose to the side of Blaine's, 'understand that I'm not likely to change though. If you want me for both friendship and sex, you should know it's only the sex that I'm good at. I take,' the words kept spilling out into the dark, hot against Blaine's skin, and he wished he knew he should stop before he ruined everything but there was something exhilarating in the confessing, 'and you have to take too because I don't give. Do you still think there can be more than sex?'

'Sex isn't just mutual taking,' dry hands ran the outside of Kurt's thighs and Blaine's legs shifted in their tangle together. Fingers pressed into the back of his thigh and he silently bent Kurt's leg up to drape around his hips. He squeezed his hand and slid it down, fingers pressing between the mattress and Kurt's ass, holding him firmly in the perfect contrast between the slip of crisp cotton sheets and the heavy warmth of his hand. Kurt felt Blaine start to harden where he was pressed against his ass, he closed his eyes and waited breathlessly, loving the feeling, that _he_ was doing that to Blaine.

Tipping his head back, Kurt sighed contentedly as Blaine kissed slowly up his throat. The glide of barely wet lips matched the rub of the hand pinned between him and the mattress, tipping him ever so slightly back onto his elbows with each shift and breath. The mattress started to creak as Kurt was pushed backwards firmer each time, the drag of the sheets under his elbows rougher and the pant of Blaine's breath over his chest quicker. Obeying the squeeze of his hand, Kurt hitched his leg higher, calf rubbing over the small of Blaine's back and their hips tilting together. Blaine sagged his head down into the dip of Kurt's shoulder and his arms shook briefly. A small shift of position and Kurt groaned quietly.

'Lean back,' Blaine grazed his teeth down Kurt's throat, his lip soft and wet following. Shivering, Kurt sank back into the mattress and shifted as Blaine laid slowly over him, locking both legs around his waist. He loved having the soft skin of Blaine's stomach pressed between his thighs and hot over his cock, feeling the gentle give as he squeezed his legs tighter, it felt so delicate and intimate against his inner thigh as they rubbed together. Blaine exhaled slowly and Kurt shivered again. He whined when Blaine withdrew his hand from his ass with one last rolling squeeze, trailing his fingertips over his hipbone and splaying his hand wide to smooth over his stomach. Kurt's breath stuttered and then slipped out in a slow sigh, eyes closing.

'That's sort of adorable,' Blaine whispered into the centre of his chest.

He rubbed slowly and Kurt whined. 'Don't tease,' he breathed. Blaine held his leg and shifted their angle together, pressing himself up Kurt's body until they gasped together. Pausing to catch his breath, Blaine caressed over Kurt's thigh, sneaking down over his ass and holding him steady as they rocked into each other. Blaine's fingers dug in and he hitched him closer and rolled his hips down.

'Oh,' Kurt breathed quietly and tilted his head back with another slow, soundless gasp. His other leg slipped down to catch over his ankle, his knee tenting the duvet which rustled and slipped with each rhythmic roll of Blaine's hips. Blaine's hands remained fisted in the sheets beside Kurt, arms tense and locked, muscles starting to tremble.

'You'll come from this?' Blaine murmured above him and he pressed down slowly and firmly. Kurt let Blaine read his reply in the way he arched his back and held himself flush against Blaine's cock for a moment, panting at the dry rub and imperfect friction, his skin pulling at the sheets until he sank back gasping into the mattress. Blaine followed him down and groaned, a tiny stuttered sound as he slowly thrust their cocks together again. The sheets tangled around Kurt as he arched up again, curling his fingers in them and dragging blindly. Sweat started to stick his hair to his forehead and panting puffed stifling hot air over his lips, Blaine hot and sticky above him, impossibly hot and heavy between his legs. He kept rocking them together in a continuous rhythm and Kurt clung tighter to the sheets and tipped his head sideways, mouth open and panting into the pillow. His panting slowly turned into short, sharp gasps and he cried out as Blaine kept pushing down until he pinned him completely to the mattress. With a creak of the bed and another cry from Kurt, Blaine shifted over him again, rubbing him between the drag of the sheets and the grind of his hips and cock.

Back arching and mouth open, Kurt squeezed his legs tight and pushed up on his palms, Blaine's lips dropping hot and wet to his throat as he came.

It was quiet and still when Kurt finally opened his eyes and refocused, his body impossibly light and cool without the cover of sheets or the heavy weight of Blaine. He wet his lips. 'Blaine?' Someone chuckled weakly in the dark beside him and Kurt relaxed back into vaguely damp sheets with a blissed out smile.

'Welcome back,' Blaine's voice was low and warm. 'Good?'

Kurt just stretched and shivered pleasurably. 'Mm. C'mere,' he curled himself closer to the dip beside him, sliding his hands across until they smoothed over Blaine's chest. He tangled their legs together and nestled in close, inhaling and shivering again. 'You good?' He mumbled and slid his leg up until he felt Blaine's cock.

Blaine chuckled again and slipped his hand over Kurt's leg. 'Taken care of. You were actually pretty hot so-'

'Mm,' Kurt hummed again in flattered understanding. 'Cleaned up,' he was starting to slur, eyelids heavy. '-anks.'

'Yes, I cleaned up,' Blaine translated, pressing his grin into the top of Kurt's hair. 'Business taken care of, you can sleep,' he shifted to kiss his temple and Kurt smiled one last time. 'So you are a snuggler,' he murmured as Kurt drifted.

The glowing clock numbers read 5am when Kurt slowly slid his legs out of bed. Blaine snored quietly behind him and lolled with the dip of the mattress as Kurt rose to his feet. The floor around the heating duct still had the last lingering touch of warmth. Kurt pressed one bare foot on top of the other and hugged his arms around his stomach. Even though the room was still warm his breath fogged on the window as he looked out into the weak grey sky. Still cold outside. He bit his lip and absently tucked his arms in closer. Storeys below the first people started to move, carrying cases and wearing suits while Kurt watched silently up above. He glanced over his shoulder at Blaine and smiled quietly to himself. Cheek pressed into the pillow and one bare leg stretched out from under the duvet he slept on peacefully. Kurt's smile faded and he turned back to the window.

Without thinking why or how, without trying to think at all, Kurt dressed in silence, gathered his things and quietly clicked the door shut behind him. He just needed some time.

It wasn't until he was standing outside in the grey light of the early morning, cold air stinging his face and mouth that he let himself think. He thought about Blaine's smile, his laugh, hair, eyes, mouth. Kurt took a deep breath as he walked briskly. He thought about last night.

Kurt surprised himself with a clear laugh and dug his hands into his pockets, hiding his grin into his scarf. He started to walk faster before turning indecisively, looking back at Blaine's apartment block as he walked backwards before spinning around again. Maybe – Kurt hid another smile in his scarf and tilted his head to glance over his shoulder again. He laughed quietly and bit his lip, still smiling. He could love Blaine. He didn't, he didn't know him enough for that yet. But he _could_. Just that thought and all its possibilities made Kurt close his eyes with his smile.

The weak golden sunlight was dappled across the pavement by the time Kurt found himself back outside Blaine's apartment. A faint breeze ruffled his hair and Kurt tilted his head back, glancing up into the bright blue sky. He smiled, it was going to be a beautiful day.

Standing in the lift Kurt quickly inspected his hair. He glanced at the corner where Blaine had pinned him last night and smiled, the proper smile he never let anyone see, all teeth and crinkly eyes. He pressed his fingertips over his mouth as he stepped out of the lift and pressed Blaine's doorbell. He bit the inside of his cheek as he heard footsteps behind the closed door.

'I think I left my top behind,' Kurt blurted out. He winced internally at how high-pitched and breathless he sounded.

'Hey,' Blaine said flatly.

Kurt paused. 'You okay? Anyway,' he carried on with a tiny calming breath, 'I was thinking-'

'Bet you can pay for another one.'

'Very funny,' Kurt tried to take a step forward and stopped quizzically when Blaine didn't move. 'Blaine?'

'So you really don't feel anything anymore, do you? It's more than just not relying on anyone for you.'

Kurt blinked and crossed his arms uncertainly. 'Sorry?' He recoiled as Blaine suddenly threw his top in his face.

'Get out.'

'Wha-'

'_Get out!'_ Blaine spat harshly.

Silence rang in the hallway. Kurt's hands shook under the top as he clutched it tightly against himself. 'I don't-'

'Fuck off,' Blaine slammed the door, Kurt flinched.

He didn't come back. Kurt stared, he waited in the silence. The door remained closed.

Kurt drew in a sudden sharp breath and slowly backed away from the door, still clutching his top to his chest. Somehow he started walking. Nothing had any feeling, numb hands pushed open the stairwell door, legs automatically carried him down in slow, measured steps.

Sit. Had to sit.

Kurt sat heavily on the bottom step and stared. How could he have been such an idiot? He'd thought, just for moment, that maybe it was going to work. He'd let himself hope. It was always that moment when you gave in and stopped fiercely guarding your heart that everything turned to utter shit. Thoughts drifted numbly through Kurt's mind, he didn't register any feelings with them but somehow the bone-deep ache in his chest grew heavier still. It was his fault. Kurt found his hand steady with dull surprise as he curled it around his other palm. Cradling his hands softly in his lap he bent his head.

Why wasn't he what anyone wanted?

A door banged several floors above, the sound echoing down to him. Kurt tucked himself against the railings. He was vaguely aware he should feel angry, should brush it off and storm back upstairs to give Blaine a piece of his mind, but he was never as good at doing that as he liked people to believe. Not with things that really mattered.

So he just sat, sat while the cold slowly seeped through his clothes and made him shiver.

Kurt finally shifted, the scrape of his shoe against the step loud in the silent stairwell. He screwed his eyes shut and ground his cheek into the cold rail. He was such an _idiot_. His shoulders dropped. Why had no one ever said a bruised heart was a physical pain? He _hurt_, his mind whispered in a tiny incredulous murmur.


	9. Chapter 9

**Note: The piece Thornton's Walk from North & South soundtrack is my track for Kurt.**

Kurt lifted his head off the couch, flicking his eyes at the clock before slowly lowering his cheek back to the cushion. A week and something days of mechanical, emotionless work since – Kurt shuffled onto his back and gazed up at the ceiling. He didn't feel anything. Nothing, just empty and tired. He was supposed to cry, send abusive texts, drink and dance himself into a stupor and move on. There was no sound in his apartment as he lay motionless on the couch. McQueen miowed and jumped squarely onto his chest. Kurt just sighed and turned his head away from McQueen's unblinking glare. He'd bought a cat in a sudden effort to combat the loneliness he wasn't feeling. He hated cats but McQueen hated him too so their relationship seemed to work on the grounds of mutual animosity. McQueen slowly kneaded his claws in and out of Kurt's chest and swished his grey tail.

'You're getting fur on my clothes,' Kurt informed him dully. He _should_ care more. Sometimes at night he felt the briefest stab of fear as he willed himself to care and nothing happened.

McQueen gave him a look of pure indifference. On the bench above his head his phone vibrated and skated and Kurt ignored it. If he read one more text from Rachel about her Finn dramas he was going to snap and kill. McQueen put his ears back and fixed his eyes on the humming phone, tail whipping back and forth. Then with a sudden lunge he reared up on his back legs and smacked the phone off the bench. Kurt suddenly laughed, a big snorting helpless laugh. McQueen collapsed back down and hissed at him and Kurt immediately fell silent. He could almost hear the echoes of his laugh.

'Oh,' Kurt murmured. He pressed his lips tightly together. For the first time since _it_ he felt the prickle of tears. He blinked fiercely and set his jaw. '_Fuck you Blaine Anderson!'_ He suddenly seized a cushion and hurled it against the wall. The cushion fell with a soft thump and Kurt grabbed the nearest magazine and flung it across the room. A hot surge of angry satisfaction rushed through him as it slammed into the floor. '_Dick!' _He hurled the entire pile as hard as he could, they hit the ground with a loud crack and scattered. Uncaring and angry, Kurt yanked the back off the couch off and flung it, books, pens, cutlery, anything that hit the floor with a thump he could imagine to be his fist hitting Blaine's face.

Arm aching, heart pounding and surrounded by debris, Kurt let his head thump back onto the bare couch and slowly breathed out.

Something crackled lightly on the floor and McQueen sprang lightly back onto his chest. Kurt covered his face and started to laugh. It was weak, pathetic and pained, but still a laugh. He slowly swung his legs off the couch and stretched his head back with a groan.

'Pull it together,' he muttered to himself.

The mess on the floor crunched underfoot as he shuffled his way into the kitchen. Five minutes of staring blankly at the kettle, waiting for it boil, feeling blank and depressed.

'I fall for the wrong people,' Kurt informed McQueen. McQueen twitched one ear disinterestedly and kept staring out the window beside Kurt. Kurt nursed his hot mug of tea and leaned his cheek against the cold glass of the window and gazed at the people on the street below. 'I liked falling asleep beside someone,' his breath misted and faded on the glass, 'I'd never done that before.' McQueen got up and padded away silently. Huffing a flat chuckle, Kurt took that as an accurate representation of his life. He'd lost the chance at Ceecque's dress now too.

Bumping his fist gently against the glass, Kurt pressed and stared down.

GGGGGG

'I bought a cat,' Blaine announced. He dropped his bags on the desk and sank down into the chair. 'I bought a cat, Wes.'

Sighing, Wes swivelled his chair around and placed his hands on his friend's shoulder. Blaine groaned and cradled his forehead in his palm. 'And what have you named this cat, Blaine?' Wes asked soothingly, giving him a sympathetic massage.

'Shut up,' Blaine kicked his legs up onto the desk and slumped back in the chair. 'It's not _Kurt_,' he flung a pen at the wall. 'She's called Pearl. She's black and six months old. She's good company,' he added defensively, flicking another pen at the wall.

'I'm sure she is,' Wes agreed placidly and continued squeezing his shoulders.

Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose and screwed his eyes shut. 'I'm going to die alone surrounded by cats, aren't I?'

'It's not your fault your past boyfriends have been conniving scum after your father's money,' Wes said reasonably. 'It's been two weeks now, it's time to start moving on.'

'I bought a cat,' Blaine muttered, 'I am moving on.'

'That's not moving on, that's resignation to your fate, Blaine.'

Propping his hand over his eyes, Blaine tilted his head to the side and down at the carpet. He pressed his lips together tightly against a tremor and Wes sighed again behind him. A hot tear splashed down the side of his nose and he drew a shuddering breath, wiping his hands hurriedly across his eyes. 'I'm fine, I'm good,' he muttered thickly. Blaine pushed himself upright and took another deep breath, reaching for the nearest papers and pulling them in front of him. He refused to acknowledge the other tear slowly tracking down his cheek.

'You're still a mess.'

'No I'm not,' Blaine said quickly, sniffing and swiping his hand roughly over his wet cheek.

Wes rolled his chair back with one last clap of Blaine's shoulder. 'Well, you've got homeroom in five minutes.'

The problem of being the new teacher, being a _younger_ new teacher, was that the students were far more interested in learning about him than they were the course work. Just a week into his new job, homeroom was nothing less than an interrogation session. Blaine had been lucky getting the position, Wes, as an existing teacher at the high school, managed to get him in on short notice to cover a recent gap. It had been a decision born out of far too many tequila shots, messy gulping sobs on Wes' shoulder and a general _fuck this I'm doing things my way now _attitude. The work load was overwhelming coming midway into the course but somehow that suited him perfectly.

He still thought about Kurt. It was hard not to. First James, then Kurt. He didn't know what his father had hoped to gain with that, bribing the gay out of his life? Waking up to an empty bed _that_ morning hadn't really been unexpected, it was Kurt after all. To find him gone from the apartment had...hurt. A strange dull ache that followed him as he wandered vaguely around the flat, secretly he had been looking forward to eating breakfast with someone sat opposite. Even if Kurt hadn't said anything, just sat there in companionable silence, maybe he would have let Blaine kiss the back of his neck or touch his hand. It was Kurt though, independent and impossible Kurt, and how could he have expected him to stay? He hadn't known Blaine wanted him to stay, and up until that morning when he rolled over onto cold sheets he hadn't known he wanted him to stay either. All that he would have taken but for the phone call. Calm and uncaring, his father informed him Kurt would be enjoying more of the check he'd just accepted and less of Blaine's company.

Blaine's pen went through the page and he slowly lowered it with a clenched jaw. A girl in the front row looked up from her test curiously, Blaine gave her the eye until she rolled her eyes and grudgingly started working again. Blaine continued methodically marking papers in the silent classroom, head bent and heavy. The clock ticked loudly behind him and his pen gradually slowed and his gaze shifted out the window. Gaze blank and thoughts fixed on his family, Blaine let the students go with only a vague bye and no mention of homework.

GGGGG

Kurt slammed the top down on the dish washer and threw the dish towel across the bench. Bracing his hands on the edge he hung his head down and closed his eyes tightly. Cafe work while studying a fashion course that was going nowhere, an empty flat with only a cat that hated him. Slowly opening his eyes he suppressed an eye-roll at the customer still deliberating over the choice of pies. The other worker meant to be serving flashed him a quick bitch smile and disappeared back into the kitchen. Forcing on a smile, Kurt turned around to face the customer and resisted the urge to slap him into a decision. A long line of irritating, slow customers followed and Kurt wordlessly plucked money out of their hands.

'I'm working the drinks,' Kurt finally announced over his shoulder, the woman he was serving looked mildly affronted. 'Take a number,' he slid the stand across the counter at her and disappeared behind the coffee machine before she could open her mouth. There was something very satisfying in jamming the lids down on the mugs and smacking the order forms onto the spike.

'Skinny latte,' Kurt announced flatly and reached for the lid.

'Kurt,' the woman said quietly and pushed her sun glasses up onto her head. Kurt choked and flung the coffee across the bench. 'Oh I'm so sorr-' she immediately apologised.

'No no,' Kurt babbled hastily and piled napkins messily over the spill, 'my fault. All my fault. I'm so sorry-'

The other worker, Tracey, looked across at him like he'd grown another head as he apologised profusely.

Cecilia shook her head, laying one hand lightly across Kurt's wrist. 'It was my fault, I shouldn't have startled you.' She bit her lip. 'When are you on break?' She fiddled with the edge of a napkin. 'I'd like to talk.'

'Talk? Yes, of course,' Kurt's brain auto-piloted and he stepped back from the counter in a daze. 'Tracey?' He turned, still wide-eyed to the stunned girl, now staring open mouthed at Ceeque. 'Cover for me?'

'Uh huh,' she replied, eyes never leaving Cecilia. Cecilia smiled uncertainly and tugged the end of her hair. 'Gimme five?' She managed to say.

'Five?' Kurt turned weakly back to Cecilia.

'Of course,' she dipped her head awkwardly and stepped to the side, face turned away and down from the crowds.

Kurt burnt himself twice in the actual fifteen minutes it took for Tracey to reappear, unable to focus as he kept glancing up at Cecilia standing quietly in the corner. There was little trace of the smiling, confident woman the magazines and shows presented. Blaine. It must be something to do with Blaine. Kurt hissed as he burnt himself again. Blaine was over. Blaine was nothing. Kurt very carefully and precisely placed a coffee lid on.

'You can go,' another awe-struck worker touched Kurt lightly on the back, eyes fixed on Cecilia.

In a second Kurt's apron was off, his bag over his shoulder and hair neatened. Cecilia looked up with a little smile and a gracious shake of her head at his apology.

The doorbell tinkled overhead and Cecilia immediately turned to him. 'I heard Blaine left.'

'I don't want to talk about it,' Kurt said quickly, immediately blinking and looking away. 'Sorry,' he added.

'Just let me say one thing?' She asked apologetically. Kurt forced a quick smile and nod. 'I know my brother used you appallingly,' Cecilia touched his arm lightly and he tried to remain indifferent, uncaring and unaffected despite the sharp reminder of _failure._ 'I just wanted to say,' she looked earnestly up at him, big brown eyes the camera loved, 'I would love for you to still design for me. I can get you a permanent place, Kurt.' She held up her hand as he started to protest, 'This isn't charity or guilt, I've seen your work and it's wonderful. You're not going to be passed over in this just because my brother is a jerk,' her smile grew shyly. For the briefest of seconds Kurt saw a bit of Blaine in her, the sparkle in her eyes and the way they crinkled at the corners.

Thoughts of refusing with dignity and courageously making his own way forward flashed briefly through his mind. Very briefly. 'That would be amazing,' Kurt blurted out. 'But, _but-_' he stepped quickly in front of her, 'offer me this again _after_ you've worn the dress I'm designing. So you're sure.'

Cecilia smiled widely, suddenly just a young woman, definitely Blaine's sister. 'Okay.'

'Okay,' Kurt echoed, voice high and disbelieving.

'So-'

'CEECQUE!'

Kurt jumped but Cecilia just rolled her eyes at him with a tiny smile. 'I think someone at the cafe might have rung in,' she whispered, still smiling. 'Hello,' she turned around, all model and graceful suddenly. Kurt stood back, dazed and blinking as microphones were thrust forward and flashes went off. An iron grip around his forearm stopped him going anywhere. Somehow the microphones ended up in his direction, a sea of expectant faces staring at him.

'Are you still dating Ceecque's brother, Blaine Anderson?'

Kurt's jaw set. 'No,' he said grudgingly. Let them think they had been dating, what was it to him? 'I broke up with him,' he added. He was claiming that one however, thank you very much.

'Kurt is designing for me,' Cecilia cut loudly across the barrage of next questions. Kurt stood silently by her side as she calmly answered the eager yells. He bit the inside of his cheek at the sudden urge to grin or maybe cry, because life didn't just work this way, but sometimes, _sometimes_ it did.

GGGGGGGG

The staff room was loud as usual, when all Blaine wanted to do was sit quietly and stare at his feet.

'That's your sister isn't it, Blaine?' Elsa slid the newspaper across the table. 'Such a lovely looking girl. That new designer of hers isn't too bad either,' she added with a barely concealed smile of agreement from the English teacher.

Setting aside his coffee, Blaine pulled the paper to him and flipped up the page curiously. Staring directly up at him, a half smile quirking his perfect mouth was Kurt. _Kurt_. 'Kurt?' He murmured faintly.

'Mm, that's his name isn't it?' Jaime the English teacher mused.

Across the table Wes lifted his head slowly with dread written all over his face.

'Does your sister have a like _team_ of designers?' Ms Home Ec asked curiously.

'I-' Blaine swallowed, his mouth dry and chest empty, 'I don't-'

'Kurt Hummel,' Elsa started reading aloud from the article, 'born in-'

Fingers digging into the edge of the table, Blaine cast his eyes rapidly across the room, taking a deep breath as his heart pounded in his throat and his stomach churned.

'-until recently the boyfriend of Ceecque's brother himself, Blaine Anders...' Elsa's voice trailed off as the staff room all turned wide eyes on Blaine's white face.

'Um,' Blaine choked. He hurriedly wiped over his cheek and forced a watery smile. 'Bad break up.'

'Oh,' Elsa laid a sympathetic hand over his wrist as an understanding murmur went around the room.

With a quick mutter Blaine slipped from the stares of the staffroom, frustration and anger growing with each step as he worked his phone out of his pocket. Reaching the staff toilets he shoved the door open with his hip and slammed the cubicle door after him. He jammed the phone against his ear and kicked a foot against the wall as he waited for her to pick up.

'You're just using him!' Blaine hissed furiously down the phone. 'You staged that press gathering at the cafe! You're using _him_ because you know it'll drive Father insane that it's the _fag_ he found his son with and now it's everywhere.'

There was silence on the other end of the phone then his sister finally spoke. _'_Kurt?'

'Low, Cecilia,' Blaine said bitterly, '_low.'_

_ '_Grow up, Blaine,_' _he could hear the rush of water and clunk of a tap, a pause as she drank. 'I just confirmed what you asked me to do before you dumped him. The press technique seemed to work for you, as I remember.'

'Cecilia,' Blaine started flatly, dislike in every part of his voice, 'you'd never do anything if there wasn't a gain in it for you. And supporting an,' he glanced at the article scrunched in his hand, '_unknown designer _is never out of the goodness of your Anderson heart.'

'Do I need to remind you you're an Anderson too?'

His tie sawed at his neck as he yanked it roughly down. 'No.'

'No,' she repeated calmly, 'because you dropped Kurt once your gay story was in the tabloids.'

'I-' Blaine started angrily.

'You had him, you used him, you lost him. Pull your head out your ass and deal with it.'

'If those tabloids could hear their golden girl talking now,' Blaine snorted humourlessly. He never told Cecilia why it ended with Kurt, there was no point when they never shared their lives. He wondered what lies Kurt had spun. Not that Cecilia would shy away from a bit of underhand dealing. He yanked the knot down on his tie again.

Another short silence before Cecilia spoke in a clipped tone, the trace of doubt hard to hide from her brother. 'You wouldn't.'

'No, Cecilia, I wouldn't,' Blaine said in disgust, 'I'm actually trying not to buy into the family tradition of backstabbing.'

'Oh like you care!'Blaine angled the phone away from his ear as his sister spat angrily at him. 'Like you didn't use him too! What's it to you anyway?'

'You know what?' Blaine said suddenly, 'Nothing.' He thought of the feeling when he heard Kurt accepted the money. 'You'll work well together.'

He meant to hang up with the upper hand but somehow he remained in silence, eyes closed with the phone pressed to his ear.

'Blaine?' Cecilia finally asked, voice smaller and tired.

'Yeah, still here,' he sank down onto the toilet seat lid. The phone was silent against his ear.

'I don't like our family.'

Her quiet confession remained between as Blaine slowly scuffed his shoes against the tiles. It was a simple, almost childish confession. Like the times they used to spend together, hiding in Cecilia's room from the nanny of the month, parents away on business. Cecilia used to read to him with her arm around his shoulder and their heads leant together, the big sister that could fix anything. 'I'm back teaching,' he offered, couldn't help offering the consolation that Cecilia wasn't the only Anderson set adrift.

'Would they take you back?'

'No,' Blaine said simply. 'And I _never_,' the harshness crept into his voice, 'want to be.'

'I just-' a sigh rustled through the speaker, '-Kurt. He just-'

'Is so convenient to use,' the bitterness, mixed with tiredness, started to come back. Blaine's shoes squeaked on the floor in the empty bathroom. 'Do what you want, Cecilia, he'll be using you back.'

'He's being paid and I'm wearing his clothes, it's mutually-'

Blaine smiled bitterly. 'Yeah, mutual. Watch where that goes. Whatever. Bye Cec.' He hung up and dropped his hands to his knees.

GGGGGGG

'Kurt!' Rachel rapped sharply on the door again and Kurt closed his eyes tiredly. He didn't look up at the sound of a key being jammed in the lock and the door inched open in Rachel's version of subtlety. He didn't realise she still had his spare key. He didn't really care. 'Kurt?' Rachel whispered loudly. 'Kurt?' She reached the back of his couch. 'Oh,' her voice dropped sympathetically, 'are you sick?' She whispered in a tone suggesting he was dying.

'Yes,' Kurt responded dully. He supposed he was, he didn't really want to think about it. Feelings like these were ones that got pushed into the group of things he didn't acknowledge anymore. The couch dipped at the end with a little creak in the silence of his flat.

Rachel's hand gently touched his ankle through the blanket. 'Hey,' she said with uncharacteristic quiet.

The heavy weight in Kurt's chest squeezed painfully. 'Hey,' he croaked back and his face suddenly crumpled. Hot tears trickled down his cheek as he curled his knees up and tucked his face into his hands. The blanket bunched up over his body as he hunched in on himself and hid in its soft fabric. The only sound was his muffled sobs and Rachel's faint distressed murmur.

'More than Blaine, isn't it?' She rubbed tentatively over his foot.

'I-' Kurt pressed his fingers under his eyes and shook with another sob.

'Would you like to talk?' Rachel offered simply.

Kurt nodded jerkily and started to whisper, all that came out was a stuttering gasp.

'Whenever you want, Kurt,' Rachel tucked her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her ankles to wait.

It wasn't long before the tears started in earnest, Rachel's grip on his wrist stopping him from shuffling into the bathroom to hide himself while he cried. He hated himself and he hated the situation and he hated Blaine and he hated that he'd let it mean this much to him. Then the nose bleed had started and Kurt wanted to scream in frustration and erase _everything_ from the past few months.

Holding another tissue under his nose, Kurt tilted his head back and groped blindly for the box. 'Thanks,' he said, muffled into the tissue, as Rachel placed the box in his hand. He lifted the tissue and hummed unhappily at the streak of blood still across it, closing his eyes and dropping his head back again he pressed the tissue harder. 'This is disgusting,' he murmured thickly. His face felt tight and wet with tears and blood and God knows what else.

'A bloody nose can be very cathartic,' Rachel said with a touch of approval, as though she was somehow applauding Kurt's dramatic ability to make his nose bleed on command.

Kurt lifted the tissue to speak. 'No, Rachel, this is revolting.' He replaced the tissue. His head hurt and he felt wrung out from crying. His eyes prickled again just at the thought and he felt utterly repulsive and unlovely. 'You should go,' he choked up again and flung the bloody tissue down into the bin with angry force, all directed at himself. It had reached the stage where it hurt to cry, his stomach aching and eyes burning and he still shook with the aftershocks of it.

'Are you going to tell me why you just spent forty minutes crying?' Rachel shuffled closer on the couch and gingerly pushed the tissues to the floor before nestling in close to his side. 'It was actually sobbing, not crying,' she added softly. She wrapped her arm around his stomach and laid her head on his shoulder.

'Because,' Kurt threw another tissue down and ripped a fresh one from the box, 'I want proper romance.' It sounded so stupid hanging in the silence between them. He tore another tissue out and crumpled it to his face, hiding his expression. 'I know everyone thinks I don't feel anything,' it was easier to confess into the tissue, 'but I _do._' His breath started to come in gulps and he hated himself for it, his frustration only making it worse. 'And I want Blaine; I want him to want _me_ and this is the first time I've ever properly felt like this about anyone and I've fucked it up because that's what I do best!' He gasped for breath on each and, finishing the sentence with a shuddering breath and fresh tears. 'You know, it-it took me so long to sing again.'

'After Blaine?' Rachel petted the back of his head and he wanted to shake her away, tell her how much he hated anyone touching his hair -anyone that wasn't Blaine, his mind added- but she meant well.

'After junior year in glee club.' He was suddenly both desperate to share and reluctant to. Rachel seemed to sense that and prompted him with a wordless squeeze of her hand on his shoulder. 'I tried to kiss someone,' he piled another tissue against his face. The first kiss he initiated was at a party and almost as much a disaster as his first actual kiss. Drunk and slightly lonely as everyone laughed and danced around him, he had mistaken casual friendliness for interest. For a split second there were soft lips under his then there was a firm hand on his chest and he was being shoved backwards. The music thumped under his feet and he staggered back with wide eyes. Someone laughed and elbowed their friend and Kurt's face burned. The guy looked sympathetic but just shrugged and melted back into the crowd with one last glance over his shoulder. Kurt ran his eyes nervously over the crowd of people around him and felt the familiar clench of humiliation in his stomach. Faces blurred and the room spun. Everyone around him had seen his stupid attempt and raised laughing voices were audible under the loud thud of music. Kurt pushed for a break in the crowd, fighting against shoving shoulders and the hand that tried to grab the back of his top. Breaking free, he had staggered across the floor and spent the rest of the night sprawled across the back seat of Finn's car, alternating between depression and drunken unconsciousness. 'I was rejected,' he said finally, softly but with as much quiet dignity as he could manage.

'Then he was an idiot,' Rachel said firmly.

'No,' Kurt viciously tore at the tissue box again. Rachel silently moved it out of range. '_I_ was the freak. Everyone treated me like one and it doesn't matter what you think yourself, because if all other people think you're a freak then you are one.'

'That's not tr-'

Kurt laughed blackly without any humour. 'Don't tell me it isn't true.' He scrubbed at a smear of blood over his hand. '_Everything_ is based on what other people think of you. High school taught me that. You're attractive if other people think you are, you're funny if someone laughs, you're nice if a person thinks you're nice. No one,' Kurt rubbed harshly, 'thought I was anything,' his skin started to turn red, 'but a freak. So it became easier,' he swiped his hand under his eye, trying to remain unaffected by the steady splash of tears, 'not to care at all.' He sniffed wetly and suddenly tried to smile, a wavering hopeless attempt. 'So I've been a little bit lonely,' his voice cracked. He held up a warning finger as Rachel tried to hug him, waiting and breathing deeply until he had himself under control again before continuing. 'I've never had any faith in relationships and I hate people.'

'Who?' Rachel tried to look comforting while crouched at the other end of the couch.

Kurt shook his head vigorously, swiping a tissue under his nose. 'People. In general. Humanity.' He felt his expression soften pathetically. 'I liked Blaine.' He fumbled with the tissue.

'You still really like him,' Rachel said sadly.

Kurt let her hug him this time and leaned his head on her shoulder, sniffing disgustingly and hating himself. 'I've never liked anyone before, I don't know how this is supposed to go. I think I've done everything wrong.'

'It was his fault,' Rachel said staunchly.

'I shouldn't have gone on that blind date, I'm not right for relationships,' Kurt felt the sickening weight settle back in his stomach. Rachel later informed him this was the self-hatred and doubt stage of a break-up. It didn't make him feel any better.

Rachel trailed after him when he finally made his way into the bathroom, hands wrapped around a mug of tea and back propped against the outside of the door while he showered. 'What are you going to do when you see him tonight?' She called through the door.

Kurt tilted his head back into the water and screwed his eyes shut. Cecilia's party tonight. He yelled over the water. 'Nothing. I'm not,' he scrubbed his fingers through his hair, 'letting him know I,' he choked over it, a new phrase to say, 'care about him.' It sounded so stupid and formal and meaningless, it did nothing to explain the hollow ache around his heart. It was still a new feeling and Kurt guarded it protectively like he had guarded every feeling these past years, he now knew more than ever that showing feeling was by far worse than even admitting it to yourself.

'You don't want to talk with him?'

Of course, Kurt longed to say, he wanted Blaine to tell him that he was something special, capable of being loved and loving in return. It had been a painful discovery to realise there was room for both hate and longing in a heart, to accept he just as likely to punch Blaine as to eagerly take any scraps of affection Blaine might offer him. Kurt scrubbed vigorously at his face. He had no dignity left and he was disgusted with himself for it. Blaine was _not_ going to have the satisfaction of knowing he cared.


	10. Chapter 10

**Updates have been done, there is however more smut throughout like a sort of apologetic Easter egg trail...But basically, yes this got the rewrite I've been wanting to give it for a while, unfortunately it was done while I was moderately off my face. My chipmunk wisdom teeth-less face. It's done though and many things have been changed and it makes more sense to me, but then sticking my hand in a bowl of soup made perfect sense to me too earlier so maybe that's not saying much. **

'No! No, no no,' Blaine chased hurriedly after Pearl, arms outstretched and hunched over. 'Give me that, _give me that!'_ He snatched a sock from her with a stern frown. 'Bad kitten.' Pearl immediately changed tack and purred lovingly, winding through his legs and covering him in cat fur. Blaine immediately folded and stooped to pet her, flicking her ears playfully. 'I'm going to be late,' he informed her. 'Not that I want to go,' he added, face suddenly falling, 'Kurt's going to be there.' Pearl purred and flopped down onto her side. 'Talking to my cat, yes to _you_,' he added in a soppy voice and tickled her stomach, 'I'm mad and lonely, aren't I? Yes, I am,' he wiggled his fingers as she tried to bite at them. 'Alright,' he straightened reluctantly with one last pat, 'here goes.'

Arriving was always the worst part. Sitting in his car, Blaine hesitated, hand open over the key before clenching his jaw and jerking it sideways. The engine died with a soft purr and left just the faint patter of rain on the windscreen. He watched a couple hurrying past, the man's jacket held up over her head. Groaning, Blaine forced himself to open the door and swung his legs out. It shouldn't be hard to avoid Kurt. It was some sort of formal party, event, an opportunity to show off arranged by Cec and select friends and associates. Blaine had been to enough similar things with the family to have no desire to spend an entire evening in polite small talk. Cec had phoned and asked him to come this time, an actual phone call not the standard mailed invite he usually got. He hadn't been able to say no and despite everything she was the only family member likely to speak to him again and suddenly that meant far more to him than he ever thought it would. It was almost a certainty that Kurt was going to be there. Cec had tentatively asked that he didn't mention anything to Kurt about their previous phone conversation and Blaine just agreed, quickly and with vague disgust. Calculating Kurt and his sister, with her wide conniving streak, were well suited.

Inside was impressive, huge and just a little bit overdone. Somewhere in there Kurt was probably having a small fit. Blaine tried not to compare himself to the women clicking past on sky-high heels, his chin level with their shoulders. Voices echoed off the high ceilings and polished floors, some of them familiar and incredibly unwelcome. Blaine accepted champagne with a smile and slipped unobtrusively through the crowd. Knowing that a fair number of these people had seen his and Kurt's Facebook pictures was not a comforting thought. Wes had been invited as a sort of peace-offering on the part of Cec but despite fairly desperate pleading and a small serenade in the staff room at school, Wes had remained unmoved and not coming. Blaine downed the champagne quickly and avoided an ex-work colleague. He caught the eye of a woman standing alone and smiled back. Five minutes later saw him chatting easily and occasionally glancing across the sea of people for Kurt.

Blaine's heart skipped a beat at the sight of a familiar profile flickering into view between a group of women making their way through the crowd. It was Kurt, he was sure it was Kurt. He heard a familiar laugh and the crowd parted just enough to let him see bright blue eyes crinkled in laughter and a wide smile. Instincts took over and Blaine immediately spun around and walked in the other direction.

A soft, startled gasp drew him up short and he stared, ignoring the flick of glances towards them and subtle murmuring.

'Mom,' Blaine hesitated, hand half outstretched. She flicked her eyes briefly down to it and looked away, nodding awkwardly. Blaine quickly curled his hand into a fist and drew it back to his side. 'Oh.' He cleared his throat as she remained silent, eyes off to the side. 'So this is how it's going to be now?'

'I think so, don't you?' She tightened her grip on her clutch. 'Excuse me.'

Blaine watched silently as she slipped back into the crowd.

Some small talk, a drink later and Blaine found himself receiving a brief and careless request from Cec, just a few things if he wouldn't mind, it would help so much. She didn't spare him a backwards glance, just the brush of her hand on his arm with her easy thanks. It always amazed him how people saw it as elegance and polite detachment.

The paper flowers rustled as he awkwardly juggled them in his arms, elbow outstretched to try and catch the doorhandle. Cec had said put them anywhere out of sight, an empty office should do. A pale hand slipped quickly in front of his and pushed the door open. 'Thanks,' Blaine blinked as the lights flickered on, lighting up a small empty office room. Opening his arms he let the flowers drop and turned around with a breathless laugh hovering over his lips. 'You kno- FUCK!' The paper flowers scattered noisily as he jolted backwards, one white knuckled hand pressing down in the middle of them.

Kurt flinched before squaring his shoulders firmly.

'Kurt.' Blaine choked tightly through a dry mouth.

'Blaine.'

They stared at each other.

He couldn't stop staring, couldn't look away from the part in Kurt's lips, the blue of his wide eyes. He had to _say something._

Blaine stared up at Kurt and it was like his heart suddenly remembered to beat, it pounded desperately in his chest, increasing and filling his ears with thunder.

The chair bumped on the carpet in the deathly silent office and Kurt sank down wordlessly.

Blaine swallowed and forced himself to take a deep breath, lowering his eyes to the desk and forcing himself to _think._ When he lifted his gaze up firmly Kurt's expression had subtly shifted, the slightest tilt of his chin and purse of his lips. Arms crossed, he leaned minutely back in his seat and stared directly at Blaine.

Blaine drew a short breath through his nose and pressed his lips tightly together. 'Kurt.'

'Blaine.'

'_Kurt,_' he watched Kurt's lips twitch.

'I came here to talk,' Kurt replied shortly.

Blaine's feet flexed under the table and he released a slow, steadying breath. 'Okay. What about?'

'What do you think?' Kurt clipped each word, unconsciously leaning forward an inch.

'Some form of explanation, I would like that,' Palms flat on the desk, Blaine stared across the inches between his and Kurt's hard face. He could feel the flicker of Kurt's breath and hear the short hiss through his nose, the icy blue of his eyes so close and so...familiar.

'_You_ want an explanation?' Kurt demanded and his mouth set scornfully.

'And you think I don't deserve one? Because everyone comes second to _Kurt?'_ Blaine gestured expansively and angrily. He was so impossibly arrogant.

'I may as well put myself first seeing as no one else ever will!' Kurt shot back and his hands curled into fists braced on the desk. He closed his eyes and his lips parted as he drew what seemed to be a steadying breath. When he opened them again his gaze was guarded and voice forcedly calm. 'I just want an explanation,' he said evenly.

Blaine scoffed and threw his hands up, threading them through his hair and tugging down as he gazed incredulously at Kurt. 'Of what? What can there possibly be to explain?'

Crossing his arms, Kurt thumped back into his chair and determinedly turned his cheek to Blaine. 'I'll wait,' he ground out between clenched teeth, voice thick but the flick of his eyes pure venom.

Blaine remained behind the desk, watching in silence as a single tear tracked down Kurt's clenched cheek. Kurt unfolded his arms and quickly smacked it away before tucking them back against his body and sniffing wetly. Accusing, hurt eyes flicked briefly at Blaine.

'Why do you lookat me like that?' It was the lying, the constant never-ending manipulation. Why was _no one_ honest? Blaine kicked back into the seat and tipped his over the back of the seat. He traced lines in the ceiling with his eyes, a muscle twitching along his jaw. 'For God's sake, just cut the crap,' he ground his hands over his eyes, movement slowing until his hands just covered his face. 'You were honest once, can you-' he swallowed and struggled with the pressure over his chest. 'Oh for-' he watched another tear splash down Kurt's cheek. '_Tissue_?' He thrust the box out angrily.

Kurt turned his eyes from the wall and something flickered across his eyes, he snatched the box out of Blaine's hand and hurled it down onto the desk with a sharp crack. Pressing the tips of his fingers over his mouth, he closed his eyes.

'Stop playing me!' Blaine cried out and fisted his hands in his hair. He dragged his head down and slammed his elbows into the desk, the shock jolting up his arms and fingers yanking roughly at his hair. 'It works! It always works, okay?' His voice trailed off into a sigh. He twisted his hands harshly through his hair, eyes screwed shut. 'I'm pathetic, I always fall for it, I never learn and _I know! _So you can stop with the-' Blaine waved his hand angrily, '-the tears and the face and-'

Kurt snatched the tissue box off the desk again and flung it at Blaine's face. '_Dick_,' he spat.

The sharp corner of the box swiped across Blaine's cheek and he clapped a hand to his face. 'Whore!' He spat back bitterly.

The chair slammed to the ground as Kurt shot upright and lunged across the desk. Papers scattered as Kurt seized his collar and yanked him roughly forward and slapped him across the face. Blaine gasped and clenched his jaw as the loud crack rang in his ears, Kurt's furious eyes inches from his and hand rose again. Blaine's head snapped sideways with the next stinging slap and he blindly fisted his hands in Kurt's shirt and wrenched him sideways. The desk jolted as Kurt slammed into it and pulled Blaine's head down to crack against the surface as he hunched forward, breathless and gasping.

Papers scattered and something clattered to the floor and Kurt struggled upright. 'Spineless!' He spat and fought against Blaine's hands gripping his shirt. Blaine ignored the sharp fingernails digging into his wrists and heaved Kurt up, dragging his hip across the desk and sending everything crashing to the ground. Kurt swung his leg around and caught Blaine in the side with a solid thump.

'How much,' Blaine heaved him up again and clenched his jaw, 'did he pay you?'

'No one paid me anything,' Kurt's eyes burnt into him just inches away, hair a mess and flopped across his forehead, everything about him still radiating pride and disdain.

'Maybe you could stop lying!' Blaine's voice started rise again. 'How _much_, _Kurt?'_

'I have no idea what you're talking about,' Kurt's chest rose and fell with each quick pant.

'Selling out to my father.'

'I never did that.' His eyes stayed locked with Blaine's, almost daring him to move. The fabric of Kurt's shirt started to slip through his fingers with the first prickle of doubt. That seemed to have been what Kurt was waiting for. He wrenched free and thumped down onto one palm and fisted his hand around Blaine's collar and slapped him with a resounding crack. 'You made my life hell-' Kurt's voice rose in fury, '-for _nothing!'_ Blaine tried to choke back a reply around the collar cutting into his neck. 'You kicked me out like trash because you thought I'd _ever-'_ another fierce shake, '-let myself be _bribed?' _

Hands flat on Kurt's chest, Blaine shoved him backwards and sent him stumbling over the desk and chair. He swiped the back of his hand over his lip and ignored the streak of blood. 'You told me yourself you think it's pointless to care about people!'

'No – that –that's what you thought about me?' Kurt demanded, voice high and angry and incredulous and strangely scared.

'Yes! No!' Blaine shoved his hands through his hair in frustration. 'I don't know! You never cared about me.' The room was suddenly too quiet, Kurt's heaving breaths loud and his expression caged. '-did you?' Blaine added, suddenly uncertain with a flicker of the most ridiculous, ill-timed hope.

Kurt's expression flicked back to scornful disdain. 'Of course not.'

Blaine's heart sank all over again. Of course not. People never felt that way about him. Idiot to think it. Especially about Kurt. Across the desk Kurt stared at him in pure hatred.

'So,' Kurt started in a clipped voice, 'you're going to tell me that you cared for me all along?'

Eyes closing, Blaine missed the sudden open longing on Kurt's face, the desperate hope that he would say yes. 'No,' he said simply and despite everything he couldn't bring himself to fire it back with the disdain Kurt had conveyed. 'And yes,' he admitted. 'It-' he scrubbed over his forehead, 'wasn't you, it was more what you could have been. But it was you.'

'Is that a yes or a no?'

'What does it matter?' Blaine shot back, angry again. 'Alright, so I thought we had a – a _companionship_. Going to laugh in my face? Drag me through the dirt for that too?'

'No.' Kurt's quieter answer surprised him. Kurt wrapped his arms around his stomach and somehow seemed smaller.

'Good,' Blaine responded with confused dignity.

Kurt nodded and awkwardly looked away. 'I'm not the easiest person to get along with,' he offered suddenly, breaking the silence.

'I know.'

'I care more than I show.'

'I know.'

Kurt nodded again, expression mixed and unreadable. Suddenly he walked forward and Blaine immediately drew himself up defensively. Stepping over the scattered mess on the floor, Kurt stretched out his hand and touched his fingertips to Blaine's cheek, trailing to brush across his temple. Blaine slowly lifted his gaze in surprise, unsure of what he expected to see. Kurt looked angry, so angry and scared. His hand kept up its soft path down his jaw and back up to rub lightly down the rise of his cheekbone. Moving slowly as to not lose that tentative touch, Blaine blindly stepped backwards and sat on the edge of the desk.

'What are you doing?' Blaine kept his fingers curled around the edge of the desk.

Kurt dropped his hands to Blaine's shoulders, letting them sit there in fists. He just closed his eyes and lifted his shoulders in a shrug. Blaine nodded uncertainly and slowly smoothed his palms up Kurt's sides and leaned their foreheads together. Kurt's arms crossed behind his neck and Blaine spread his knees, tucking Kurt in close against his body. Kurt remained silent. Finally his wet cheek tucked in against his own, a slide of cold skin and tears. Blaine shivered as Kurt's familiar hand grasped the back of his head, fingers winding through his hair and clinging. With a rustle of clothes they shifted closer still and Blaine clasped him tightly, the tip of his cold nose pressing into the dip under Blaine's jaw. Without really knowing what he was doing, Blaine stroked his hand down the back of Kurt's head. He lingered at the nape of his neck, palm cupped and desperate, holding Kurt against him. Kurt's other hand slipped under his top, a warm weight between shirt and jacket, so achingly obvious in his longing for comfort that it almost hurt. Not that he was any different really, Blaine adjusted his hand on Kurt's neck and pressed in closer, maybe this was what they were best at after all. Maybe this was why he couldn't push Kurt out of his arms despite the throb of his cut lip and the sting of his slaps on his face. Kurt huffed out a little sigh and nestled closer.

'This is-' Blaine shook his head suddenly at the guilt and panic choking him. He drew back from Kurt and slid to his feet.

Frustration etched over his face, Kurt dropped down to the edge of the desk and braced his hands in fists on his thighs, eyes screwed shut. 'I was trying to show you.'

'Show me what?'

Kurt rolled his head to the side and looked up at Blaine. 'How it is with us.' He let that hang between them for a moment then drew another slow, steadying breath. 'We're good together?'

Blaine's heart broke. 'Kurt,' he went to touch Kurt's hands instinctively and nodded awkwardly as Kurt pulled them silently away, 'what we were was horribly fucked up.'

Kurt tried to smile. 'Still better than anything else I've ever had?' He smoothed down his rumpled shirt and his face started to flush as Blaine remained silent. Blaine felt as though something important had passed but he didn't know what it really was. 'Go,' Kurt snapped out finally, 'just _go!'_ He raised his voice when Blaine remained frozen in place.

Blaine sank to the floor, back sliding down the door and knees bent.

'_Go!'_ Kurt screamed. He flushed and pressed the backs of his knuckles across his mouth, turning his face away and running a shaking hand over the edge of the desk.

'I missed you!' Blaine declared loudly and watched as Kurt's back tensed, 'I-' he waved his hand shortly and helplessly, 'missed you,' he repeated, quieter and matter of fact. He beat his fist lightly on the carpet beside him and hit his head dully against the door.

'Fuck you,' Kurt shot back. He walked over and slowly sank down beside Blaine. They sat together in silence, the sounds of the party muffled and distant. 'Really?'

'Yeah.'

They lapsed back into silence with only a small _oh_ from Kurt.

Kurt coughed faintly and his suit rustled against the door as he shifted minutely. 'So, how've you been?' He asked awkwardly.

'Fucking miserable,' Blaine declared.

'Yeah me too,' Kurt breathed out quickly in resignation.

'Are we making small talk?'

Kurt slumped slowly sideways and let his cheek thud down onto Blaine's shoulder. 'I don't want you to go yet.'

Tilting his head, Blaine looked down into the ruffled mess of Kurt's once neat hair. 'Why are you forgiving me?'

'Who said I was forgiving you?' Kurt snapped back immediately. 'I just said I don't want you to go.'

On stupid, unaccountable impulse, Blaine bent his head down and pressed his face to the top of Kurt's head, closing his eyes and trying not to do something embarrassing like cry. 'Thanks,' he blinked rapidly and cleared his throat. 'And,' another cough, 'I'm sorry I thought you'd sell out. Even if it did make sense,' he added.

The indignant snap or even slap he expected didn't come. Instead he felt Kurt shrug shortly. 'Maybe it did. I'm not,' another uncomfortable shift, 'good at relationships. Faking it, I mean,' he added hastily but the words were already out there and something cold was curling around Blaine's heart. Kurt remained tense beside him.

'You-?' He choked and took a deep breath. 'Oh, God.'

'It's not like that!' Kurt said angrily and lifted his head up, defence etched across his face. 'Don't go complimenting yourself thinking that I'd ever-'

Blaine cupped his cheeks tightly in his hands and Kurt's expression flickered and settled into wary. He slapped Blaine's hands away, but it was a softer slap that seemed more automatic than real anger. 'You're to blame as well, you know, for this mess. You're controlling and impossible to read and you pick fights and you lash out. You're not easy to get along with, you know that? And,' everything started to spill out, 'you treated me with disdain on a _good_ day and I got attacked for trying to talk to you and help. You said you hated relationships and thought emotions were pointless! Is it any wonder I thought you'd drop me in a heartbeat? It's hard to know if and when you care, Kurt. How-'

'I didn't know what to do, okay?' Kurt cut across loudly. 'Stop-' the anger cracked into pain, 'listing my faults,' it was almost a quiet plea.

'You liked me?'

Kurt stared at a stop off to his right as he quickly replied. 'God knows why, you're nothing special. It was just because of – circumstances.'

It was like being slashed across the heart. Blaine suppressed a flinch and swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. 'Oh.' He nodded awkwardly and forced himself to keep breathing. 'Okay. Sure.'

The door juddered as Kurt moved uncomfortably and rubbed the heel of his palm over the carpet. 'You always knew what I was really thinking even if I was saying the opposite,' he tried to tug roughly and distractedly at the carpet, eyes fixed down on his hand. 'I don't-' another rough tug, '-can't – say-'

'Kurt, I have no idea what you're trying to say,' Blaine said flatly. He recoiled as Kurt gave a faint, distressed whimper and hurriedly kissed him. Blaine remained frozen with his eyes open and stared at Kurt's closed eyes as his lips pressed softly and still. Kurt's breath stuttered quickly through his nose and his lips trembled against Blaine's. He tried a nervous little push forward and immediately drew back as Blaine didn't respond.

'Okay,' Blaine gripped Kurt's tie, holding tightly as he tried to scramble to his feet, looking panicked and embarrassed. His ears rang and he unconsciously clenched his fist tighter around Kurt's tie. 'Don't say anything.' Blaine crooked his fingers wordlessly and Kurt tentatively leaned forward. He bobbed awkwardly to the side and Blaine recoiled as their noses collided.

'I've never-' Kurt murmured and his eyes flicked between Blaine's eyes and mouth, tightly concealed nervousness in each glance.

'You've just-' Blaine paused as the Kurt jerked sideways uncertainly, 'hold still,' he hovered his hand over Kurt's cheek, meeting his eyes in a silent question before slowly cupping his palm along his jaw. Their noses brushed again softly as Blaine leaned in, stopping an inch away as Kurt pulled back slightly. 'Lean forward,' he murmured. Kurt blinked and his breath stuttered over Blaine's mouth, soft and nervous. Light fingertips ghosted over Blaine's thigh and Kurt swallowed audibly, eyes fixed on his mouth. Blaine waited a moment, feeling the warm weight of Kurt's hand on his leg while Kurt inhaled shakily inches from his mouth. He could feel that brush of air, the warmth of his face so impossibly close. Blaine closed his eyes and leant into Kurt's mouth.

Soft. That was all Kurt could think of. Blaine's lips were so soft. Blaine slowly kissed Kurt's upper lip before drawing back an inch and repeating on his lower lip. Kurt's hands clenched into fists at his side and his heart pounded before fading from his awareness. Noticing anything else was impossible with Blaine pressing little closed mouth kisses over his mouth. How had he gone so long without this? Blaine stroked his thumb encouragingly along Kurt's cheek. Moving hesitantly, Kurt pressed back against Blaine's full lower lip. The way it seemed to fit along the seam of his mouth was perfect. Kurt pressed forward just that tiny bit more, hoping to linger with Blaine's mouth fitted against his for just a second longer. Blaine's fingertips slid back into Kurt's hair and suddenly everything was a bit...warmer. Fingers scratched lightly along Kurt's hairline and lips caught his in a more insistent press. Kurt drew another shuddering breath as Blaine pulled back with a gentle suck. That was repeated again, slower. Kurt swayed forward, his chest grazing Blaine's. Blaine cradled his head firmly and caught Kurt's mouth in a slow open mouth kiss. He kissed him again, and again, and again until Kurt weakly parted his lips. He tried to somehow kiss back but, Blaine sucked slowly on his upper lip, he was completely out of his depth. Only the tight grip of Blaine's hands fisted in his hair kept him from slumping down. He swayed as Blaine pressed forward again. One of his hands somehow wound up gripping the side of Blaine's shirt, his knuckles grazing the warm skin beneath. His head span from the continuous wet slide of Blaine's mouth.

'Okay,' Kurt gasped finally and dropped his head sideways, eyes still closed. 'Okay,' he breathed. Fear of Blaine's expression kept his eyes firmly shut. He knew Blaine knew how he really felt now and he already regretted- his eyes shot open as Blaine kissed him again. Firm hands tangled in his hair and held him in place as Blaine kissed him insistently and ran his tongue over the seam of his lips. Kurt parted his lips faintly and Blaine slid the tip of his tongue into his mouth, hot and slick and Kurt sagged forward.

The doorhandle clicked behind them and panic burst through Kurt. Carpet burnt under his palms as he flung himself behind the desk and dropped flat to the ground.

Blaine jolted back as the door swung open and he stared up in a mix of shocked and amused faces.

'Oh my God!' Someone yelped and silence fell awkwardly. Someone else broke it with a quick snigger and another cough.

'Okay,' a woman laughed, 'we'll um, go, sorry,' she dropped her voice to a mock whisper and choked through another laugh.

'Aren't you Cecilia's _brother?'_

'He is! The teacher one-'

'-wasn't there with the father-'

'-off the rails!'

Blaine's hands curled into fists and he clenched his jaw, listening to the babble of voices and delighted laughter fading, the slam of the door loud.

'_Thanks, Kurt,'_ Blaine snarled.

'Shut up,' Kurt scrabbled instantly from behind the desk and dropped beside him. 'Don't you dare,' he warned again, pressed his hand over Blaine's mouth. Blaine glared up at him with as much hatred as he could pour into one stare. To his surprise Kurt blinked and shifted his hand, rubbing over his lip with a thumb that shook. 'I can't afford to lose my job,' Kurt whispered, pressing his lips together tightly and closing his eyes. 'I _can't_, Blaine. I'd have _nothing_. If people found out it was me with you and it got out it'd be everywhere, you understand, don't you?' Kurt dipped his chin to his chest, eyes still tightly closed and hands tight on Blaine's face. 'It's not that I don't care, please believe me.'

Blaine watched a tremor flicker down Kurt's cheek and the twitch in his jaw, the way he bit on his lower lip and his shoulder hunched forward. He closed his hand around Kurt's wrist, stilling the anxious press of his thumb over his mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to it. Bent above him, Kurt's lips parted in a grateful gasp. 'You're coming apart at the seams, Kurt,' Blaine murmured and softly kissed him.

'I can fix this,' Kurt promised desperately, 'we can fix this.'

'How?' Blaine pressed his face into the soft skin of Kurt's neck, 'I'm a teacher,' he laughed bleakly, 'oh God, they're gonna fire me.'

'Not if you were sick,' Kurt scrambled to his feet and hooked his hands under Blaine's arms, tugging impatiently. 'Get up! Before anyone comes back. You felt sick and were resting in here,' Kurt hurriedly smoothed back his hair and tucked in his shirt, slapping Blaine's hands as he tried to fix himself. 'Leave it, you have to look bad.'

'They'll think I was drunk,' Blaine stalled by the door, trying to pull Kurt back. 'You heard them! I'll be the brother that flipped out at the party!' He gasped as Kurt crushed him against the wall and kissed him fiercely, hands tangled in his hair and their grasp desperate.

'But there's nothing wrong with me,' Kurt drew back and swallowed, panting and avoiding Blaine's eye, 'face it, I'm a highlight of this party and,' Blaine watched his throat shift nervously as Kurt visibly steeled himself, 'as your boyfriend _as your boyfriend_,' he raised his voice as Blaine tried to protest, immediately dropping it back to a murmur, 'it'll look fine.'

GGGGGGGGG

'Fuck!' Blaine screamed over his bathroom sink. He closed his eyes and fisted his hands in his hair. 'FUCK! Fuck fuck _FUCK! FUCK!'_ He dropped his hands to the cold sink and bent his head; his shoulders shook with a sudden laugh. Breath hitching, he wiped cold fingers under his eyes even as another laugh choked free. It had seemed like Kurt's plan might have worked the night before, that was until he read what was being said about him.

'Blaine fucking Anderson! Open the damn door!' Kurt beat loudly on the bathroom door and yelled at him. Head bowed, Blaine clicked the lock and stepped back to slam his head against the wall, slipping down slightly as he shook all over.

Kurt strode over and immediately grabbed his neck and dragged him forward into a rough kiss. 'Only I'm allowed to insult you,' he said fiercely and kissed him again, a hard slip of lips and teeth with fingers digging into his skin. 'I'll be _fine_, I promise, we can speak with Cec and no one ever believes that crap online,' he clung desperately to Blaine's upper-arms, holding him up as he felt his knees sag and face crumple again. 'It'll all be over in a few days and everyone will know those stories are just rubbish. Hey, hey?' Kurt tried to chase his face, blue eyes big and scared. Blaine drooped his cheek into Kurt's palm and kept crying pathetically. Sniffling, he wiped his hand over his face and shrugged miserably.

'I'm gonna lose my job,' his voice was hoarse and cracked. 'I fucked everything up for _nothing_.'

'No you didn't,' Kurt rubbed his thumb over his cheek, pressing their noses together and tipping his head up, 'don't say that!' He kissed him, soft and comforting until Blaine broke away, lips trembling and head bowing again.

Gulping sobs gradually slowed into shuddering breathes and hiccups, fading to faint tremors and to overwhelming tiredness, the feeling he'd cried until there was nothing left but Kurt's arms holding him up. Finally he lifted his head slightly and nudged the tip of his nose against Kurt's neck.

Kurt rubbed firmly down his back. 'Shh.' Blaine chuckled weakly and immediately coughed painfully. He swallowed thickly and Kurt shushed him again. He held Blaine impossibly tight and buried his face in the dip of his shoulder.

'It'll be okay?' Blaine asked quietly.

'Yes,' Kurt swayed them tightly together and kissed his neck.

Finally drawing back, Blaine sniffled again and wiped his hand messily over his cheeks. 'How did you know what happened?'

'I turned the iPad on to check the weather,' Kurt held out the tissue box, 'I saw the articles open and heard the yelling.' He sadly stroked Blaine's cheek.

'My father sent a message too,' Blaine confessed and scrubbed the tissue over his face, trying not to gulp and hiccup. 'Something to do with never showing my face, disgusting and my mother,' he tried to smile. He looked down and blinked as Pearl threaded through his legs. 'Hey, girl,' he murmured. 'Breakfast time?' Another tear dropped down onto her fur.

'Go back to bed, Blaine,' Kurt said softly, 'I'll feed Pearl and call Cec.'

Slumping down under the duvet, Blaine pressed his face into the pillow and inhaled slowly and closed his eyes. He could hear the little clatters and happy meow of Pearl as Kurt moved around the kitchen, then clink of her bowl on the tiles and the pad of Kurt's bare feet. Kurt's voice started murmuring quietly and Blaine drew the duvet higher up around his shoulders and blocked everything out. It hurt, it hurt so much more than he ever thought it would, being hated this much by his family. Reading those articles too, the accounts of him drunk and found with two other men last night, sometimes three depending on the site of the blog. Accounts of him leaving Kurt, his "ex-boyfriend" heartbroken. It was never meant to be like this.

The duvet lifted and Kurt slithered in beside him. 'Cec loves you,' he murmured across the pillow. 'She calls you a stupid dickhead and says she wants you to know she loves you anyway.'

'You don't have to stay,' Blaine tugged the duvet higher.

Firm hands tugged it down again and Kurt stared at him. 'In this together, remember?'

'You didn't have to be this time, you didn't have to lie for me again.'

'I'm a mess, you're a mess. We should stick together.'

Blaine tightened his arms around Kurt's back and clung to him because Kurt was his and the only person in the world willing to cling back.

The messages had started at midday, sending Blaine's phone buzzing across the bedside table as each angry message lit up the screen. Kurt had seen the names, Rachel, Mercedes, Finn, and had tried to delete them before Blaine woke up and saw. They all accused him of leading Kurt on from the very beginning, using him. Other messages started to pour in, names he didn't recognise. Some concerned, some openly jeering. Rachel's name flashed up on the screen and the phone kept buzzing with a call. Blaine had woken up before Kurt had a chance to delete her angry, ranting voice mail. Lashing out and snatching the phone away, Blaine flushed red in embarrassment and what seemed like genuine anger and somehow Kurt found himself screaming back at Blaine, trying to defend himself and reason and plead.

'I'm doing this for _you!'_ Kurt yelled at him. For the first time Blaine fell silent as Kurt kept pouring out his anger in a cracked yell. '_Everything_ for you! I didn't agree to help for the fucking dress and I wasn't drunk either. I felt sorry for you,' Kurt spat and closed his eyes in self-disgust. 'Listen to your damn messages then,' he muttered and spun around to the door.

'Wait.'

Kurt stopped and waited, eyes fixed on the door handle and face blank.

'Rachel told me you were pretty upset when we "broke up". I didn't believe her.'

'I was.'

'You-'

'Don't make me say it because I won't,' Kurt said immediately. 'Not that it makes any fucking difference,' he said bitterly. He reached for the handle and flinched as Blaine touched his back. 'Don't touch me,' Kurt shrank away. 'I started trying to do the right things, say the rights things, it's not easy when you've never had to before. You just liked the idea of me. The idea of someone to _cuddle_, to talk to and play pretend with and I was stupid enough to think you might actually like _me._ All this time I thought I was the one that was too fucked up for a relationship,' Kurt wiped his eyes, 'I should have realised the man that needs a fake boyfriend to sort his life out isn't someone ready for a relationship either.'

'There's far too much _Kurt_ for you to be just an idea,' Blaine leaned sideways against the door beside Kurt.

Kurt refused to look at him. 'Meaning?'

'Prickly, snappy jerk.'

Kurt whipped around, mouth open a retort on his lips. He blinked and drew in a quick breath through his nose as Blaine swiftly kissed him. He remained tense and unresponsive and Blaine firmly cupped his neck and kept kissing him, patient and firm. Blaine's other hand rubbed gently down his face and Kurt's eyes flickered shut.

'You like me?' Blaine whispered against his mouth.

Kurt drew back instantly. 'I won't say it.'

'Why not?' Blaine kissed him softly again.

Kurt hid his face against Blaine's neck and closed his eyes. He inhaled softly and breathed in everything he'd come to associate with Blaine. His heart thumped strongly against Kurt's own chest and his hands were warm and comforting on his back and face, only the slightest of calluses on his palms. Kurt touched lightly over his jaw, feeling the prickle of stubble and the dip and curve of his chin, the softer skin of his throat, he slipped his hand round to twirl one finger through a curl of hair. Kurt lingered for one moment more. 'Because you won't say it back,' Kurt finally confessed.

'I could.'

Kurt shook his head miserably and despite everything his heart still shrank and ached. 'You wouldn't mean it like I do.' He let Blaine hug him gently and crumpled against Blaine's shoulder. 'The only person I ever said it to later had his friends try to drown me in a pool.'

Blaine made a soft noise, half anger and half understanding, he smoothed his hand up Kurt's neck and Kurt swayed with the movement. 'I missed you. I missed seeing you, I missed hearing you, I even missed arguing with you,' Blaine nuzzled a kiss against Kurt's temple and Kurt smiled half-heartedly and leaned into it. 'I missed the sex and I missed hearing you laugh, even if it was at me. I missed just talking with you.' Blaine kissed his temple again, lingering. 'I want whatever that means.'

'You can't miss arguing with me.'

'I always win,' Blaine murmured and Kurt could feel him smiling. 'I like you,' he confessed with a gentle graze of lips over Kurt's skin, 'please say it back.'

'Just as I am?'

He felt Blaine smile again. 'Just as you are, Bridget Jones.'

Kurt drew back sharply. 'I don't believe you. No one ever wants me.'

'I do.

'I don't believe in relationships,' Kurt declared challengingly.

'I've gone off them too.'

Kurt was silent as he bumped his nose gently against Blaine's neck.

'You're going to have to deal with my scandal and the blogs and the questions people will ask,' Blaine murmured into his hair. 'My family hates me and hates you too and I don't think I'll ever fix that. I don't know what the future holds there. I'll mess things up, I always do.'

Kurt trailed his fingertips over Blaine's collar and straightened it. 'I'll mess them up even more.'

'We sound very similar and perfect for each other.'

'I like you,' Kurt let it spill out quickly. He immediately closed his eyes and waited. Blaine just kissed his temple and held him tightly and finally Kurt slumped comfortably in his arms. 'Please don't change your mind,' for that one moment he just let himself beg.

He wasn't going to hope because hope had always let him down, he was going to take it as it came. With Blaine. He had used to picture a perfect relationship with a happy smiling man, they'd laugh and shop and discuss fashion, theatre, everything Kurt wanted together. Instead he had a scandal, a dream job linked with the scandal, a man he argued with and occasionally threw things at and punched and who came with enough emotional baggage to rival even his own. He honestly didn't know if it was realistic to think it could work between them. Maybe it would though.


End file.
